Both Sides Now (Sincere apologies to Joni Mitchell:)

Hope and promises of change

Tales of honor in exchange

Advertisements getting strange

Elections are that way

 

But now they only block the sun

They rain and snow on everyone

So many things I wish were done

Elections block the way

 

I’ve looked at them from both sides now

From up and down, and still somehow

In their delusions I recall

I don’t like lies at all

 

But now it’s just another show

They leave us crying as they go

And if you dare, don’t let them know

Don’t give your vote away

 

Seen politics from both sides now

From give and take, and still somehow

In their delusions I recall

They really have no love at all

 

Oh but now old friends are acting strange

They shake their heads, they say I’ve changed

Well something’s lost but something’s gained

In each election day

Seen elections from both sides now

From WIN and LOSE and still somehow

In their delusions I recall

I really don’t like lies at all

 

I’ve looked at lies from both sides now

From up and down and still somehow

It’s in delusions I recall

I really don’t like lies at all

Laws and Locks

Laws and locks are for honest people and do little to deter those determined to break them. If you’ve ever spent one a day in a courtroom, you know it bears no resemblance at all to the dramatic scenes depicted on the big screen. It is a waste of time designed to wear down those who follow the law.

My wallet was stolen from my car two years ago, and I got a taste of the judicial system at work. A former student stole my wallet which had fallen out of my purse and on to my front passenger seat when I stopped by the drug store earlier in the day. I worked in the church office, and two men had come by to talk with the pastor. When I noticed my wallet was missing, I stepped in to tell the pastor it was missing and that I was going to retrace my steps and would be right back. I wanted him to know it was gone, but I didn’t want to accuse anyone without evidence. He understood my message and took note.

I called from the drugstore to let the pastor know my wallet was indeed missing. By the time I returned to the church, I found him waiting for me in the parking lot. What happened prior to his waiting was something I really wish I could have seen. After my call, one of the men drove by the church and waved at him. Well, that was too much for the pastor, so he hopped in his car and took off up the road. It’s a dead end road, so he knew they would have to come back out the way they came in.

He found one of the men at a worksite and pulled his Prius sideways in the drive to block the exit and got out. I would love to have been a squirrel in a nearby tree and watch the action! After the pastor finished talking, the fellow was contrite and decided to throw the other under the bus. He told the pastor where he could find him. The police were notified, and the pastor returned to the church parking lot to await my arrival.

When I heard the story, I couldn’t help but grin even though it was very serious business by the time I got on the scene. All I could think of was the pastor in his Prius blocking the road and confronting the suspect. The policeman was also a former student and had found the culprit and my wallet by the time I heard the story of the dramatic capture. He confessed to the crime and took the police to the places where he had hidden my credit cards and wallet. Unfortunately, the cash had gone to buy pizzas for his friends. I got a call from the policeman saying that the culprit wanted to come by the church and apologize to me. I love that about being an old teacher:) They drove up in the squad car, and I reached in the back seat and gave him a hug and thanked him for telling the truth. I also told him all was forgiven.

I turned my attention to my former student who was wearing the uniform. I asked him what would be the best thing for me to do. He quickly said I needed to press charges to teach him a lesson. So, I filled out the necessary paperwork and began the complicated process. It seemed like an open and shut case to me, so I figured I’d have my things back quickly and not even have to cancel any credit cards. That just goes to show how little I knew about laws or locks:)

I appeared in court as summoned and expected the process to be very simple. He had confessed, apologized, and taken the police to the stolen items. He even cried because he was ashamed he had stolen from me. How hard could it be? Well,  I learned the answer to that very quickly. Delays are the order of the day in a courtroom. Keep putting it off and eventually folks will just lose interest or give up on getting justice. I stayed the course and continued coming for three more appearances. Lawyers got involved; DA’s were called in, and justice was dying a slow, painful death right in front of me. I spent three days sitting and waiting and wondering what in the world was going on.

On the last day, my patience was worn thin. I decided to just quit and walked out of the courtroom. As I was walking down the steps in front of the courthouse, I was telling myself and God that I had tried; that was enough, wasn’t it?  I passed some men sitting on the steps smoking. They starting making disparaging remarks and using profanity. I thought to myself surely they aren’t talking about me. Are they?? Then I noticed the sheriff’s van heading around to the back entrance.  I threw caution to the wind and took off after the big black van. I should add that I know and love the sheriff.  I knew he would hear my plea for help and sympathize with me, and I could use some sympathy.

The sheriff invited me to join him as he went in back entrance of the building, much to the dismay of those with him. He listened patiently to my story and told one of the men with him to take care of me. It’s amazing how those slow wheels began to spin. I found myself in a room being asked what I wanted. I stated that I simply wanted the truth to be told. Either my former student or his lawyer or both of them were going to have lie in front of me. It was their choice. I only wanted the truth, my wallet, my credit cards, and my money returned. They agreed to pass along the information to the defendant and his lawyer.

In a few moments, I was told the defendant had agreed to plead guilty. I could go back to the church and not worry about it anymore. That process took almost a year, and it has been over a year since the guilty plea. I still don’t have my wallet, my cancelled credit cards, or my $34.00, but I did get a lesson worth much more. Laws and locks get in the way of honest folks, but they don’t really bother those determined to break them.

God would say, “Welcome to my world dear:)”

Porch Swing

Rusty chain squeaking

Breeze freeing

Wooden boards creaking

Stress fleeing

 

Like Minds

It is impossible to completely surround myself with like-minded people unless I join a cult, and even then I am sure to find those with whom I disagree. God’s presence in heaven is the only place where all minds and hearts will be tuned to the same beautiful song of praise. If only that kind of kinship could be found here on earth. It is rare to find a kindred heart in this world, so I count myself blessed to have found several.

Like-minded in this world so often means joining forces, and I have had my belly full of those forces of late. That isn’t what kingdom kindred spirits is about, and God isn’t on either side. Those with whom I can share my deepest thoughts and desires know my heart even before I tell them. Honest communion frees the heart, and kindred hearts kindle a fire within the soul lifting it to a new and beautiful level.

When I am with a kindred spirit, my heart is light and my spirit soars. That is the sign that like minds and hearts are connected. The world is never going to be what God designed it to be until it stops worrying about taking sides and finds the sweet center where God abides.  The journey is about going through the world in a way that leaves goodness and mercy behind me. I believe the last line of the twenty-third psalm is about just that.

Nothing creates more tension than folks with an agenda, and no one understands that better than God. I am guilty of knowing what is best and trying to convince others of the same. It is the very root of rebelling, and it puts me at odds with God as soon as I head down that path. A set heart is a hard heart. I’ve had one and never want another. Freedom  is fearful if I forget that God never leaves or forsakes. He changes my definition of like minds and kindred hearts and gives me the courage to keep walking and the inspiration to find His beauty along the way.

Crumbs

My heart sits and hopes

Like a little pup

Waiting for a crumb.

Beneath the table

It lies patiently

Never giving up.

.

Importance is Relative:)

When I read Mark 9:30-37, I think of how the disciples mirrored what the world so wants to know. How important am I? We all want an answer to that question from God, our loved ones, our employers, and our friends. The disciples argued about just that:

(The Message Eugene Peterson) Leaving there, they went through Galilee. He didn’t want anyone to know their whereabouts, for he wanted to teach his disciples. He told them, “The Son of Man is about to be betrayed to some people who want nothing to do with God. They will murder him. Three days after his murder, he will rise, alive.” They didn’t know what he was talking about, but were afraid to ask him about it. They came to Capernaum. When he was safe at home, he asked them, “What were you discussing on the road? The silence was deafening—they had been arguing with one another over who among them was greatest.He sat down and summoned the Twelve. “So you want first place? Then take the last place. Be the servant of all.”He put a child in the middle of the room. Then, cradling the little one in his arms, he said, “Whoever embraces one of these children as I do embraces me, and far more than me—God who sent me.”

I love the way Jesus teaches. He first asks a question for which He has an answer. Confession is necessary to clear the heart and mind so He can begin. That’s true for the disciples and for me. I understand that deafening silence all too well; it is the beautiful open space God gives for growth. It seems like an abyss when I’m not ready to admit any wrongdoing or wrong thinking. Space is freeing, but only when truth is allowed free reign.

Jesus never answers my questions with a simple yes or no. Like the one He gives His disciples, answers are designed to make me come to knowledge. He doesn’t impart; He saves that for those who know it all and stand in judgment of others. He doesn’t work that way, and it bothers those who want easy answers and quick punishment. Christ is clear in His answer and gives food for thought, as always with Him.

Being first is still important, and it tears at the heart of God’s work. Divisions limit God and His work. Who gets to be the leader? Who will be in charge? Who will make the decisions? The answer to all those questions is obviously God, but man has the need to define and create a hierarchy when it comes to serving Him. Such a shame in that it causes His work to take a back burner to our plans. I wish the body of Christ looked more like Him, and it would be wonderful if we were more concerned with following than leading.

With the election coming near, division has reared its ugly head and is tearing our country apart. It’s hard not to get caught up in the anger this year. I’m used to the mudslinging that goes on, but this election goes well beyond the mud and is cutting right to the heart of this country. It breaks my heart, but it has taught a wonderful lesson as I’ve found myself floundering and falling right into the fray at times. I am reminded of the answer Jesus gave a group of followers falling into the same trap.  He isn’t like the world, and I need to remember that. He isn’t running for office or sanctioning either candidate. He is bidding me to be last and to embrace the little ones who have the right answers until the adults teach the wrong ones.  There’s a lot of bad teaching going on right now as those little ones mimic and mirror what they see before them. God forgive us all for that!

Posture

When it comes to praying

God sees my posture.

Others notice too.

People see my piety;

God just sees my heart.

Walking Through

A dear friend reminded me this week that  “faithfulness may be measured not by what one feels in a given moment as much as by how one walks through that moment.” He added that it is the way I walk through the difficulties that will change the way I travel in a profound way. I know my walk is the classroom in which God teaches, and my motto has been “What’s God’s message for me in this experience?” The teacher in me also understands that the greatest lessons are those which come from my mistakes and poor choices. The notion that God will take my sin and transform it into something beautiful is a new thought that sets my heart free and captures it at the same time.

Hiding and running have given me comfort in the past when I found myself in the midst of circumstances which confound me. It is in the confounding that I find wonder. Thomas taught me that. I don’t have to understand the journey; it is, in fact, the traveling without the need to know when, where, what, and how that makes the walking through a powerful time of learning, healing, and connection. It is the need to know that makes the entire journey miserable for me and those around me. Nothing ruins a trip more than someone who constantly worries or lets the navigation cause them to miss the sweet fellowship.

Relationships made along the way make the journey a joy and the ride a relevant one. It isn’t about getting there or finding the way but rather enjoying the journey and forging friendships. We are all connected whether we want to be or not. I cannot dismiss those with whom I disagree. I can walk around them if they get in my way, but I must acknowledge them and identify what is creating friction in my heart. When I bristle at someone’s comment, I have to see what is in my heart that is giving the surface for it to create that friction. That is a painful process but one that cleanses away those things that need to go.

The opposite is also true. When I find a kindred mind or heart, there is something in my own heart that desires connection. I can relate to the positive and want to attach to it. I have a dear friend who loves God more than anyone I know. From the first moment I saw him, I wanted what he had. Henri Nouwen says God will connect to God, and that’s at the root of those beautiful connections God allows so I can walk through the difficulties as well as revel in the beauty. I get to choose whether to connect to the positive or let the negative cause me to run and hide. I’m learning to embrace the love God places in my path and step around the negative.

I’ve never walked through fire or been on a bed of nails, but I have navigated some treacherous territory. Knowing that God and others love me enables me to walk through in a way that draws me nearer to the Source of all love. I have come to thank God for the sleepless nights when I argue or negotiate with Him about continuing down the path He sets before me, and a big part of the learning has been the way I feel when I make it through that tunnel or across those hot coals. I’m glad He cares enough to listen quietly and loves enough not to acquiesce. I’m also eternally grateful for those He allows to walk beside me.

God’s Mosaic

When it comes to love, capturing comes from letting go not from holding on. Love sets my heart free and holds it closely at the same time. Freedom is the key when it comes to the heart. It cannot survive and will not thrive when held tightly. Love caresses and lets go, and the heart is forever captured in the moment when I know I am loved.

Knowing I am loved releases my heart and allows it to move into the open space God has prepared for it to grow. Growth requires room, and I believe that is why love so often fails. There is the need to own that invades the heart when faced with love. Confusion results when fusion with another becomes the goal. Identity is lost in human attempts to become one.

Becoming one is the goal in relationship, especially when it comes to God. True love allows differentiation. In a mosaic, each piece is individually beautiful. When the pieces are put side by side, they form a wonderful new image. That’s how it should be with love. The oneness God desires is a body that loves one another and Him as they maintain the identity He gives to each. So often, love becomes a conglomerate mess and individuals become lost in the mix.

Wholeness in the heart is about maintaining identity and allowing love to join the uniqueness of individuals like those pieces in a mosaic. God will create the image if I will be who He created me to be and reach out in love to Him and to those in my path. It’s a wonderful feeling to be connected by love and know that I am part of something bigger than myself while still maintaining the beauty only I can add to God’s creation.

I may not be able to see the magnificent creation God is making, and that is where I must let go of my need to understand and simply love and trust Him to do the rest. Honest communion is what causes love to be a mosaic rather than a conglomerate. It provides a perfect space for hearts to grow and connect in a way that gives God the room to create His masterpiece.

Freedom

Truth, love, and peace 

Free the spirit, heart, and soul

Mirroring Christ’s power.