Category: Children

Nooooo!

The fog gave way to the snow last night, so I was blessed with a very different view of the world this morning. Watching the girls come in to open my curtains and show me the snow was even better than the beautiful snow globe outdoors. The howling winds calmed, but snow was blowing in all directions. They loved showing it to me! Children have the right perspective when it comes to snow, and their excitement is contagious:)

Fresh snow is a clean slate, and there’s nothing children like better than a blank canvas upon which to create. Anyone with painted walls and children knows that! They have the right idea, and I love the new paint that allows them to create away. The snow invites me to be still and watch as God creates beauty right before my eyes. Snow is a miracle even when I know the science behind it, and it always fills me with awe.

Being with the kids makes snow all the more amazing, and it helps that Tyler is here with a truck that can navigate the slippery slopes if necessary. Fears dissipate when I know I’m not alone. I am reminded that Christ promised to never leave me, and I know that has always been true. He has always been with me, and He always will be. I know families can’t always be together, and I thank God for the beautiful and very unexpected blessing of living with my son and his sweet family. Living and loving together is what God has in mind for His world. In the living and loving, we find Him in one another and in His beautiful world.

The biggest lie in this world is that it doesn’t belong to God. It is my Father’s world, and I love the beautiful hymn that proclaims that powerful truth. It’s easy to give up on the world, but if I do, I take a little piece away from Him and give it to Satan. The world is like all of us. There is good and bad, and neither it, nor we, are perfect. God in all of us and in His world:) It is worth the effort of listening and looking deeply when I find Him in the heart of a friend, the eyes of a stranger, or on a snowy landscape.

Unlike a sunset, snow will not be ignored. I love that about it, and I believe that’s what children love about it:) Whether I like it or not, my plans are going to change. I’m finding it’s best  not wait for a snowstorm to stop, look, and listen to what my sweet Lord has to say or show me each day. This morning, He simply said, “Look at this!” I’m so glad I did, and I love that He had my two sweet little mentors make sure I began the day with the proper perspective. Lillyann immediately wanted to go outside and make a snowman, and little Mylah just kept saying, “NOOOO!” she wasn’t commenting on Lillyann’s question. She was just saying “snow” in Mylah talk, or maybe she heard God’s response to all our plans for the day and was passing along His message:)

Fog and Faith

The fog today was as thick as any I’ve ever seen. I missed seeing the beautiful mountains in the distance, but there is a soft lesson hidden in the white mist that touched my heart. It reminded me that faith is believing without seeing, and that was a lesson I needed today. I like knowing what’s ahead when it comes to finding my way, and that’s exactly what God is trying to get me to change. Not being able to see ahead is unnerving, and uncertainty about where He is leading is even worse. The praying life is about love, but it also requires a level of faith I do not yet have. I suppose that’s the point of the lessons:)

I don’t know if it’s human nature or just me, but I say I trust and then offer a list of questions up to God in an effort to find out what’s coming. Even with all those lessons in love about being present and staying in the moment, I still find myself with one foot in the future. The world says to get a foot in the door, but God says to keep both feet in the present and leave the future to Him. Perhaps one day I’ll learn to do that without having to be reminded.

Lillyann is like me when it comes to wondering and worrying about what’s coming, and I love that about her. If I ever get weary with her worrying, I just remember that I am the same way with God. He is patient and loving, and I ask Him to help me be the same. Lillyann is surrounded by those who love and care for her, and I thank God the love He placed in each of their lives and in mine. Knowing you’re loved is at the heart of faith, and God’s love is the most powerful force on earth and in heaven. How can I not have faith when I know who He is and how He loves.

Fog is part of living in the mountains, and I love watching it settle in the valleys. When it comes too close to home, I don’t like it. Today was a vivid reminder to have faith in Him when I can’t see or don’t understand what’s next on the path. The fog is lifting, and the temperature is dropping. I see the mountains, and I see the beautiful white fluffy snow clouds coming from the west. The girls are excited, and so am I:) The beauty of a spring snow is that you know warmer temperatures are just around the corner. Looking forward to the snow and also the sixties this weekend.

My faith is getting stronger, but I have a long way to go. The girls don’t worry about whether or not mommy and daddy will take care of them. They play happily as all children should. They have reminded me today to do the same when it comes to my Father:)

So Much Easier to Just Talk

It’s much easier to talk than listen, and I’ve talked more than I’ve listened throughout my life. The need to fill empty space and the fear of what I will hear are at the root of my chattering. There was a doll named Chatty Cathy when I was young, and I ended up with the nickname myself because of my constant babbling. I noticed a difference in my praying this week as I stopped talking and heard God’s voice in the space I left unfilled.

For Lent this year, I decided to give up space to God. I was having a hard time being still until I came to the place of not knowing what to say this week. It wasn’t the same as being dumbfounded; I’ve been there many times. This was coming to a place of decision and not knowing what to do or say. When lost, it’s much easier to listen to directions. As I heard God saying what He’s been saying for a long while, I knew He would let me continue down my path if I wanted. He certainly knows I do that most of the time. I also knew that I was tired and lost and ready to hear and obey.

It’s easier to talk when it comes to praying for the same reason it’s easier to talk period. If I talk, I won’t run the risk of hearing what I don’t want to hear. If I talk, I might convince myself that my path is the right one. If I talk eloquently enough, I might just convince God. Well, that’s as silly as it sounds and never works. He’s been so patient with me, and I thank Him for letting me come to a place of obedience on my own. It’s the only way to obey. God and I both know that. God never forces me to love Him or obey Him because He knows that isn’t true love or obedience.

It’s easier to have someone tell you what to do, believe, be, etc. The trouble with being told or forced is that I get wistful and wonder what if? That leads to bitterness and then anger. When I decide for myself, I get heartbroken and hurt. That leads to brokenness and openness and enables me to grow and move on as God desires. The tears give way to resignation, and resignation turns to faith as I forget my own desires and understand He knows best. “Faith comes from hearing, and hearing from the word of Christ.” (Romans 10:17 NASB) 

Christ’s bids me to be like a child, and I’ve certainly felt like a contrite child this week as I have struggled to convince God I’m right. When I got finished talking and didn’t know what else to say, He quietly said what He’s said over and over again. This time, I listened, trusted, and obeyed. It’s hard to leave the known and step into the unknown, but it’s even harder trying to convince God I know better than He does when it comes to my heart. The good news is that when I obey, I feel a peace that is indescribable. It eases the pain and makes listening a little easier the next time I am lost.

It’s easier to talk than to listen. It’s easier to listen than to trust. It’s easier to trust than to obey, but it’s best to remember that God knows what He’s doing and obey in the first place. Maybe one day, I’ll take that advice to heart and use it myself:)

A Little Levity Goes A Long Way:)

A sweet friend reminded me yesterday that “A little levity does the heart good.” I agree and am learning that a levity lightens the load when I go to God in prayer. God’s lesson this morning was about the power of a little laugh to lift my spirit and remind me that seriousness has its place. He appreciates humor and uses it to teach because He knows I retain much more information when humor is involved. I thank God for His sense of humor because it also brings levity just when I need it. God has an amazing sense of humor. If you don’t believe me, go look in the mirror:)

I often drag my worries to God in prayer rather than running to Him in delight. Wednesday mornings are special in that I get to sleep in. After fourteen hours with the girls on Tuesdays, I’m usually ready for sleep as soon as I get them settled in. Last night was no exception, and I awoke this morning after eleven hours of beautiful sleep. Playing with children is the best sleep aid ever!! I was sad as I looked at the clock thinking I missed the girls bounding in say good morning. I was sure they had been up for a at least an hour. I’d rather hear their squeals of delight than have the extra sleep, but I also appreciated mama’s desire to let me sleep in.

Just as I was having that thought, I heard the sound of incoming squeals and sat up in bed. I told Lillyann that I thought she had forgotten me, and she jumped in bed with me and gave me a big hug. Little Mylah had stopped off to get her baby doll and carriage, but she came in with a grin from ear to ear and a story to tell. Mama came in smiling behind them. Things were as good as they get, and I truly loved and savored each moment.

God used the girls to remind me that my prayers should be just like those little ones coming to my room each morning. We had decided early on that my bedroom would be a refuge and place of peace away from everything. I laugh as I type that now because that was what we all thought would be best as we learned to live together. What we have found is just the opposite, but having it be an off limits place earlier makes it all the more delightful for them and me now. The girls love to come in and look around. Mylah always goes straight to mama’s picture and carries it around with her. I find it in the strangest places and know mama would be tickled to see her fascination with her photo:)

God’s presence is an off limits place until Jesus opens the door and gives me access. What I find when I go into His presence is the awe the little girls have when they come into to Gigi’s room. What I am learning about His sweet presence is that He delights in my coming in as much as I delight in having Lillyann and Mylah come into my room. There is nothing I like better than having them come in and crawl into bed with me. I am learning to be like the girls and come into His presence as they come into mine with joy and complete abandon.

The girls come to me when they are hurting and tired, and they come pleading for something they cannot have. I love them all the same and hold them, rock them, or tell them no with love. My Father in heaven does the same. I cry at times when I don’t get my way, and I have even look at Him with tears and ask, “Don’t you love me?” We all know how that breaks our hearts, and it breaks His too. There are times when I’m angry with Him and argue thoughout an entire night or day. There was even a dark time when I turned from Him in shame and stayed away for decades.

Every morning cannot be filled with squeals, and much of my praying is for those who are hurting deeply. I am thankful for the times of levity that lift my spirit and the sweet squeals of delight that fill my heart with love. Whether I squeal, sob, sigh, or scream, God loves me all the same. That’s the beauty of God, moms, dads, dear friends, and Gigi’s; they love you no matter what, and that causes me to go to God as I go to them with joy in knowing it’s safe to say what’s on my heart. A little levity goes a long way in helping me not take myself too seriously, and it is changing the way I pray. I’m sure God breathes a sigh of relief when He hears my squeals of delight just as I do when those dear little girls converge on me every morning. What a sweet wake up call and beautiful lesson on the path to the praying life:)

It’s not perfection and piety God desires from me

Holiness and humility will bring me to my knee.

Levity is also there and will set my spirit free:)

Great Fishing Strategy:)

Last night, we looked at Luke 5:1-11 during our evening worship time. It was a powerful message that left me wanting to know how I could reach out as God desires.

“Now it happened that while the crowd was pressing around Him and listening to the word of God, He was standing by the lake of Gennesaret;  and He saw two boats lying at the edge of the lake; but the fishermen had gotten out of them and were washing their nets.  And He got into one of the boats, which was Simon’s, and asked him to put out a little way from the land. And He sat down and began teaching the people from the boat. When He had finished speaking, He said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.”  Simon answered and said, “Master, we worked hard all night and caught nothing, but I will do as You say and let down the nets.” When they had done this, they enclosed a great quantity of fish, and their nets began to break;  so they signaled to their partners in the other boat for them to come and help them. And they came and filled both of the boats, so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw that, he fell down at Jesus’ feet, saying, “Go away from me Lord, for I am a sinful man!” For amazement had seized him and all his companions because of the catch of fish which they had taken;  and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. And Jesus said to Simon,“Do not fear, from now on you will be catching men.”  When they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed Him.”

I am always struck by those scriptures, and last night on my way home, I asked God to help me with my own fishing. I wanted a strategy. I love and appreciate His sense of humor and had to smile as two wet little girls taught an important lesson in witnessing.

Tyler was putting the new dining room table and chairs together, and Gina was at a meeting when I arrived home. The girls were playing and ready for a bath. I took them downstairs and filled the tub. They love to play in the water and have to be wrenched out when they begin to resemble pale raisins:) I put Lilly’s hair up so it wouldn’t get wet, so little Mylah, who will not normally have so much as a tiny clip in her hair, insisted on having her hair put up like Lilly’s. That took some doing as she has very little hair, but I finally got hair up and girls settled down.

They wanted washcloths, so I gave them each a soft little cloth. I soon discovered they had no intention of using them to wash themselves. They fashioned the cloths into little blankets which they wrapped around two toy fishes in the tub. I wish I had a video of what happened next. They got very serious looks on their faces, rocked the little fish, and began singing lullabies in unison to the fishes, holding them lovingly all the while. I realized God was giving advice on how to fish for Him. Take a fish and love it!

God’s fishing, like His teaching, isn’t like the world’s. I’m thankful for His sweet lessons and for the adorable little teachers whose lesson will stick with me the next time I have the opportunity to go fishing with God. He is love, so the method the girls modeled for me makes a whole lot of sense:)

The Beginning and The End

As I showed Lillyann and Mylah the book I was writing for them, I told Lilly that she could read it when she was older. She said, “Yep, when I’m your age, I can read it.” I had to smile and pray that she isn’t as slow as her Gigi when it comes to love. It’s taken me sixty years to finally “get it,” but I get it now. When it comes to love, Jesus is the beginning and the end:)

Anytime I have the Children’s Story, I know that God has a very important lesson for me. I’ve had it for two weeks and have it again on Sunday. It’s from 1 Corinthians 13, a beautiful way to end God’s “Lessons in Love.” I’ve struggled and searched for days for an object that represents love. Hearts, valentines, candy boxes, special cards and gifts from the past, little things Tyler made me when he was young just didn’t seem right. Love is in all of them, but gifts aren’t love.

I pray more intensely when I have the story because I know it’s important to get to the heart of the message and have a simple object that helps the little ones and me get God’s point. As I’ve gone in and out of my room this week, I’ve seen the object from last week’s lesson on my dresser. I threw away the picture of Jesus that was in pieces because I didn’t like to look at it, but I kept the one that showed my sweet, smiling Savior all in one piece.

Each time I passed the picture, I’ve touched it and said, “I love you!!” Last night, as I prayed once again, for God’s help with the story, I saw the smiling face of Jesus. God didn’t slap me in the back of my head, but I did smack myself on my forehead. Jesus is what love looks like because Jesus is love!! I’m glad God didn’t say, “Duh!” but I certainly did.

Since mama died three years ago, my search for love has intensified and become more of a quest than a journey. Mama was my anchor when it came to love, and when she left, my heart was disconnected. The journey has been like the ride the disciples took on the stormy sea, and my faith has been like theirs. Last night, He calmed my heart just as He calmed the turbulent waters in Galilee. Mark 4:35-40 describes that scene then and my troubled heart.

“On that day, when evening came, He said to them, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd, they took Him along with them in the boat, just as He was; and other boats were with Him. And there arose a fierce gale of wind, and the waves were breaking over the boat so much that the boat was already filling up. Jesus Himself was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Hush, be still.” And the wind died down and it became perfectly calm. And He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?” NASB

Last night, Jesus looked at me with love and asked me the same question He asked His disciples. I have to admit that I felt pretty silly and was thankful for the beautiful smile that made my fears fade and my faith full:) So, Lillyann and Mylah, if you want to know what love looks like, here it is.

 Jesus Smiling

I love you both with all my heart, and I pray that your journey to find love is a beautiful one. However long it takes or wherever it leads you, may you find sweet comfort in Christ’s precious and perfect love. My love always is His promise and mine, Gigi:)

There is Nothing Without Love

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 makes it very clear what happens without love. Nothing!

“If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.” NASB

Without love, I am nothing. Paul makes it clear, as did Jesus before him, that love is all that truly matters in this world. Without it, nothing makes any difference. God is love, and if we don’t have the level of love He desires, all our efforts miss His mark. Paul’s description of love is a beautiful one that shows a deep love for God and for others. He implores the church at Corinth to see the point of love.

The point of loving is getting closer to God. Each time I rock Mylah to sleep, read with Lillyann, talk with a hurting friend, or participate in any act of love, I feel a connection to Christ’s heart. The smallest act of love is a thousand times better than the greatest effort done out of obligation. Whether indebted or beholden, it all amounts to less than nothing without love.

The world has replaced love with lust and obligation, and the results are obvious all around. Love begets love, and that makes a difference in me and the world. True love wants nothing in return, and that spurs me on as nothing else can.

Living with my sweet grandbabies has taken love to a new level, and I’m amazed at all they are teaching me. Whether watching them sleep or showing them ways to love one another, I grow closer to them and to God with each act of love. Living with someone allows love to manifest in the mundane, and it is in the everyday that God loves for us to love. He, nor we, need extravagant gestures. Hearts and flowers flounder, but good night kisses and morning hugs last a lifetime.

Mylah asked about mommy and daddy as she was drifting off today. I told her that mommy was at school and daddy was at work. I added that Gigi’s right here. She smiled that beautiful smile of hers, played with my hair and closed her eyes. That’s love. Lillyann snuggled next to me and whispered while she was falling asleep. I looked at her sweet, sleeping face, and my heart just melted. That’s love.

I’m learning about love from two very adept teachers. The girls love with abandon, and that’s the way we all love until we learn the world doesn’t always appreciate that kind of love. I believe in the miracle of Christ’s precious love, and I have hope for the world because it does belong to God:)

Bedtime Story:)

The girls came knocking on my door this evening with their bedtime books and mommy and daddy in tow. Lillyann yelled, “Wake Up!” It was only 7:30, so I had to grin as I headed for the door. They ran in squealing at the top of their lungs. There is nothing like a good bedtime story to set the stage for a great night’s rest, and God knew I needed the interruption.

The day was a hectic one that left me worn and weary. I was away from home today and missed being with the girls. I needed the tough aerobics workout and a hot shower, but I needed the Lillyann & Mylah fix more:) The sweet time with them was a beautiful reminder of the love God provides for me. My heart needed the reminder today.

I was off track for a while today, but God got me back where I needed to be with the help of His two sweet assistants. They hadn’t been in Gigi’s room since it was all put together, and they loved it. They took note of the new decor and then immediately plopped right down in the middle of the floor. I had to laugh since I refer to it as my sanctuary. I had been praying and meditating before Cookie, the German Pointer, made a surprise visit earlier in the evening! I’m glad they all came calling!

A home is much better than a sanctuary was a sweet lesson I needed this evening. It was also great to be reminded that I am blessed with a beautiful family:)

Child’s Play:)

Luke 17:18 and Mark 10:15 say the same thing about entering God’s kingdom.

Luke 17 Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.” NASB

Those verses have taken on greater meaning for me over the past few weeks as I’ve lived with children in a most beautiful way. I love the sound of little excited voices and delight in the sounds of play whether above or beside me:) I’m surrounded by the sounds of love and laughter and love every moment.

Children live in the moment, and I love that they can be playing full steam one moment and asleep the next. I marvel at their ability to change gears and go from one activity to the next. I decided when I first moved in that my living room would be the home’s loving room and went with an invitational design. It’s not innovative, and nothing really matches, but it’s the perfect room for plopping or playing.

I have my desk for studying, a table for coffee and reading, a table for the girls, a big comfortable couch with lots of soft cushions (Lillyann’s favorite thing about the house:), a great rocker recliner that looks out at the amazing view, an old TV that’s sole purpose is to play Mere’s old Disney VHF movies, and a big clear area in the middle in which to play or exercise. I’m sure a design team from HGTV would shake their heads in dismay, but the girls light up when they come in; and that’s all the approval I need.

My bedroom is a beautiful sanctuary, but I find myself staying and praying in the loving room most of the time. I know when the pool is filled, the room will also be filled with folks coming in and going out. Like Lillyann, I can’t wait to jump in! Every sunny day, she asks if we can put water in pool. I love the sweet optimism and eager excitement of children and know God does too. I pray we will all show the same for Him.

If you aren’t experiencing God’s kingdom here on earth, take some time to play with children. Their wisdom is amazing, and their enthusiasm is contagious. God knew that I was ready for the advanced lessons in love Lillyann and Mylah could teach me, so He set up a very special graduate course for me and even put me on an amazing campus designed to help me get the full effect of those lessons. I feel like a kid every time I think of Him, and that’s a good sign I’m heading in the right direction and walking in His kingdom:)

Gigi Susie :)

DSCF3037

Susan Mariscal was known to Mylah and Lillyann as Gigi Susie and to her grandchildren as Grandma Susie. She suffered from Parkinson’s Disease for a decade, but that never stopped her. She only slowed down because she had to, but she continued to touch many by teaching piano and living a life that clearly personified God’s love.

I met Susan in 2007 when my son began dating her granddaughter. We made an immediate connection as I felt God’s presence in all she said and did. She taught a class on the day she had her stroke and played the piano at her church the Sunday before. Every task was a pain-filled chore for her, but she never complained. She cared for others and gave of herself as her sweet Savior did, and that is the best witness of His love.

Susan’s smile never faded, and I never heard her say a harsh word. I pray that I will be half the witness she was. I’m so very thankful God placed her loving presence in my path. I plan to tell the girls all about her courage and her love for them. She delighted in them and loved nothing better than being with them.

I gave Lillyann a butterfly pin for her sweater today. She touched it and asked, “Can Gigi Susie touch it?”

I replied, “Yes, Lilly, she can touch it because it’s right next to your heart.” I love the way children think:)  I told her she could have the pin to remember the service and Gigi Susie.

I know without a doubt what God said when Susan arrived in heaven, “Well done good and faithful servant!”

Here’s a sweet shot of Lillyann helping Gigi Susie open her Christmas presents. She has a tender heart, as well:)

Lilly & Gigi Susie