Category: Friendship

Listening is Relative:)

When it comes to listening, there is nothing better than a soundboard. Bing’s definition is “a board to increase resonance: a thin sheet of wood placed under or above the strings of a musical instrument to increase resonance. On a violin it is the top of the instrument” I love that definition. I’m also intrigued by the list of synonyms Bing offers: friend, soul mate, alter ego, sister, brother, amigo, intimate, best friend.

A listener can be a sponge, a marble slab, a baseball bat, or a sound board. I had to smile when I saw the synonyms because they were not at all what I expected, but they do make perfect sense if you are or have a sound board in your life.

A sponge takes everything in and gives no feedback. They are heavy-laden as they leave because they absorbed it all, but they offer nothing in return. I’m left as empty as they are full, and that isn’t a good feeling for either of us. It is the most unhealthy type of listening.

A marble slab is beautiful but isn’t absorbing a thing. A set smile or a look of concern gives an impression of sincerity where there is none. It’s more about let’s get this over with so I can move on. The experience leaves me empty and them completely unaffected. There is no real interaction, so I’m left feeling worse than before.

A baseball bat immediately takes a swing at the information. Whack! They know exactly how I feel because they’ve been there and done that. In fact, it was much worse for them. They know exactly what I should do, offer a simple solution, and walk off feeling as though they just hit a home run! I’m left wondering what just happened as they strut off the field.

A sound board, according to Bing,  creates “amplification of a sound, e.g. that of an instrument or the human voice, caused by sympathetic vibration in a chamber such as an auditorium or a singer’s chest.” That sounds a lot like love to me:)  If you are or ever have been a sound board, you know that love is the sympathetic vibration in the heart that makes listening a truly powerful connection.

Being a sound board is not as easy as being that slab of marble or as fun as whacking that ball out of the park, but it is the most beautiful feeling in the world when someone hears my heart and understands it. It’s just as good when I do the same for them. It is rare to find a sound board in this world because it takes time and means connecting at a deep level. Several years ago, a dear friend told me I was a wonderful sound board. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I could tell by the tone that it was a good thing. I know now just what it means and consider it the best compliment ever:)

Loving Wholly!

Wholly means completely and to the exclusion of all else, and God’s message for me this morning was that He wants me to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind, spirit, and strength. In other words, He wants me to love Him wholly! I have the tendency to hold back when it comes to love. I’ve let the deep hurts of my past cause me not to trust love, even God’s. That sounds silly when I say it out loud, but God knows it is true and wants more for me.

God reminded me this morning that the Holy Spirit will help me love wholly if I will just let Him.I love the Holy Spirit and am amazed by the holy mystery that allows Him to bring comfort and love in ways I cannot understand. He is teaching me to be a loving presence and redefining love for me, and I have made progress. God showed me this morning that I have much more to learn when it comes to love.

Whole is better than half. We all know what happens with half:) I’m guilty of being half and part and some when it comes to love. Growing in regard to love means getting whole so I can love as God desires and have the relationships He has in mind for me. I’ve settled for less than whole with love because I’ve not been willing or able to love wholly myself. I’ve loved those who cannot love me because it was safe. I thought it would hurt much less to love that way, but I was wrong. God has given me the choice of moving on or wallowing in my pain. It’s up to me as it always is.

God is whole and gives all when it comes to love. Commitment isn’t about enabling or fixing, and it is not to be part time. I’ve been deeply hurt when it comes to connecting, and I’ve allowed that hurt to lead my heart. A whole spirit, soul, and heart is required for the love God desires. Some is not acceptable when it comes to love.

I can’t pick and choose with God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit. They are whole and holy and want the same for me. Holy means spiritually pure, and the goal of this journey is to head in that direction. God gives a choice at each fork and intersection, and I have to decide which way to go. That decision is based on desire and readiness. The past two months have been a time of wrestling with God that has left me worn, weary, worried, and ready to let God lead my heart.

When God teaches me, it’s always about getting to the core of my heart. It involves getting to the place of spiritual exhaustion that causes a sigh of release and repentance. I have to turn in a new direction, and that involves change. I like to think of myself as progressive and forward thinking. That’s true unless it involves change:)

I finally cry Father! That’s more appropriate than uncle when wrestling with God. When I’ve had enough wrangling, He shows me what I need to see before I can move forward. It’s never easy to see, and that’s why I wrestle. I have kept love at arm’s length all my life, and God showed me that isn’t what He wants. He used Thanksgiving in powerful ways to help me see the importance of wholly loving and living.

Each time I come to a difficult leg of the journey, God provides sweet assistance in the form of family and friends who love me, and He always gives me a beautiful reward when I finally get it. I’m having lunch with one of my dearest friends today. I haven’t seen her in seven years, and I know the lunch isn’t a coincidence. Ali hears my heart across the distance, and we are sweet kindred spirits. She knows and loves me in a way I can’t describe. Actually, I can; she loves me wholly:) She has been an important part of my journey, and God placed her in my path at a two crucial intersections. It’s perfect that she would be here as I’m encounter another. God knows just what I need just when I need it, and I love that about Him!

Grace and Gravy:)

Thanksgiving breakfast was wonderful, as always. The hum of fellowship provides beautiful background music for the food that brings a flood of memories and sweet comfort. Wayne’s gravy is as close to mama’s as it gets, so I feel her sweet presence at the gathering. There’s just something about gravy that reminds me of grace. All the elements in a meal may be wonderfully prepared, but gravy that makes the meal special. God’s grace, like that wonderful gravy, covers all He so generously provides and leaves me feeling loved in a very special way.

Anytime I have grits and gravy together, which isn’t nearly often enough, I think of Evelyn Tooley Hunt’s poem “Mama is a Sunrise.”

“Mama Is a Sunrise”
by Evelyn Tooley Hunt

When she comes slip-footing through the door,
she kindles us
like lump coal lighted,
and we wake up glowing.
She puts a spark even in Papa’s eyes
and turns out all our darkness.

When she comes sweet-talking in the room,
she warms us
like grits and gravy,
and we rise up shining.
Even at nighttime Mama is a sunrise
that promises tomorrow and tomorrow.

I cannot read that poem without thinking of Mary Sue. Mama warmed me like grits and gravy every morning, and I thought of her today as I ate food lovingly prepared by those willing to get up a early and serve others. It’s what love is all about, and love is at the heart of grace and good gravy!

I don’t know or care if the streets of heaven are paved with gold, but I’m thinking the lakes are most likely filled with mama’s gravy. Grace and gravy have a lot in common, so I believe the connection can be made without offending any theologians. I know God would agree because He knows how gravy prepared with love makes a meal very special. He also knows His grace makes love special and warms my heart even more than mama’s grits and gravy:)

Spirited:)

On my way to Deep Creek yesterday, I saw a group of horses running and kicking up their heels. I had to pause and take in their spirit. I thought of how often the word spirited is misused to mean willful when describing a child who processes differently or has a lot of energy. I prefer to think of spirited as jumping for joy as love springs from the heart:)

Sometimes my spirit gets worn and weary, and I don’t feel like jumping for joy. Lately, my spirit has been willing and wanting to jump, but my body hasn’t been cooperative. The recent bouts with nasty viruses has left me lighter in weight but feeling much heavier as I have had to stop when I so wanted to go. My patience has been sorely tested! I realize that my tiny taste of common bugs pales in comparison with surgeries and illnesses of loved ones, and I certainly don’t mean to imply that I have been seriously compromised in any way.

God has, however,  given me pause and allowed me to appreciate those hikes and workouts I took for granted. That’s been a humbling lesson of late as I try to slowly get back into my walks and workouts. I did a mile in the park and a very light workout when I got home and was worn out and frustrated by my lack of energy. I have a much deeper appreciation for the beautiful gift of good health. I’ve been very blessed indeed!!

The beautiful horses yesterday reminded me that my spirit soars when outdoors on a beautiful day, and nothing makes me want to kick up my heels more than spending time with kindred spirits. The horses were playing and enjoying life together; that’s what spirit is all about. I’m learning that we all express spirit differently, and that has been the most freeing lesson of all. I am learning to let people be who they are and embrace who I am whether or not others understand. It’s okay to kick up my heels all by myself or enjoy watching others frolic while I rest:)

Not being able to do what I usually do has given me a new perspective on spirit. My spirit must come from God if I am to maintain the freedom that love so beautifully brings to it. Knowing I am loved is the first step, accepting love and seeing myself in the light of that love is the next. Reaching out in love is the last and most precious step. In the reaching out and loving, I become more than I am alone. That makes my spirit run and jump and kick up its heels. It’s what love does to the spirit, and it is a most beautiful combination:)

The Face of a Friend

Love is found in the face of a friend.

Soul is reflected in the eyes of a friend.

Spirit is lifted in the smile of a friend.

Heart is healed in the ears of a friend.

Love is found in the face of a friend.