Category: Life

Spirited:)

On my way to Deep Creek yesterday, I saw a group of horses running and kicking up their heels. I had to pause and take in their spirit. I thought of how often the word spirited is misused to mean willful when describing a child who processes differently or has a lot of energy. I prefer to think of spirited as jumping for joy as love springs from the heart:)

Sometimes my spirit gets worn and weary, and I don’t feel like jumping for joy. Lately, my spirit has been willing and wanting to jump, but my body hasn’t been cooperative. The recent bouts with nasty viruses has left me lighter in weight but feeling much heavier as I have had to stop when I so wanted to go. My patience has been sorely tested! I realize that my tiny taste of common bugs pales in comparison with surgeries and illnesses of loved ones, and I certainly don’t mean to imply that I have been seriously compromised in any way.

God has, however,  given me pause and allowed me to appreciate those hikes and workouts I took for granted. That’s been a humbling lesson of late as I try to slowly get back into my walks and workouts. I did a mile in the park and a very light workout when I got home and was worn out and frustrated by my lack of energy. I have a much deeper appreciation for the beautiful gift of good health. I’ve been very blessed indeed!!

The beautiful horses yesterday reminded me that my spirit soars when outdoors on a beautiful day, and nothing makes me want to kick up my heels more than spending time with kindred spirits. The horses were playing and enjoying life together; that’s what spirit is all about. I’m learning that we all express spirit differently, and that has been the most freeing lesson of all. I am learning to let people be who they are and embrace who I am whether or not others understand. It’s okay to kick up my heels all by myself or enjoy watching others frolic while I rest:)

Not being able to do what I usually do has given me a new perspective on spirit. My spirit must come from God if I am to maintain the freedom that love so beautifully brings to it. Knowing I am loved is the first step, accepting love and seeing myself in the light of that love is the next. Reaching out in love is the last and most precious step. In the reaching out and loving, I become more than I am alone. That makes my spirit run and jump and kick up its heels. It’s what love does to the spirit, and it is a most beautiful combination:)

The Face of a Friend

Love is found in the face of a friend.

Soul is reflected in the eyes of a friend.

Spirit is lifted in the smile of a friend.

Heart is healed in the ears of a friend.

Love is found in the face of a friend.

This Little Piggy:)

When I put Lillyann to bed last night, I was whipped and thankful to lay down beside her and relax for a moment. She wanted a story, but I told her that Gigi was just too tired to read a book. She said, “Read a story without a book.” Of course, I couldn’t resist that sweet little request. I love children and envy the way they express themselves:)

I wasn’t thinking of Odysseus when I started to spin a tale about two little piggies, but I thought of him as I drove home. He searched the world for decades only to find that all he sought was waiting for him at home. As the story began, Lillyann relaxed because she loves piggies, and she loves being the main character. Here’s the story of those two little piggies who found happiness in each other as they shared the journey and made their way home.

Two little piggies named Gigi and Lilly set off to see the world. They crawled out of the mud, climbed over the fence, and decided to see what was beyond the farm. They snacked on vegetables from the garden, tiptoed past the farmhouse so as not to wake the farmer and his wife, and made their way to the road.

They wondered about the strange surface on the road but decided to take a chance and see where it led. They walked and talked along the way and were so excited to be going on an adventure. They started to get a little bit scared; but they were together, so they just talked and walked a little faster. Houses got closer together, and the vegetable gardens disappeared. “What will we eat?” worried Gigi, but Lillyann told her not to worry. They would find something. They sang to take their mind off their tummies.

One night, they noticed lights ahead. “I wonder what that means!” said Lilly.  Gigi wondered the same thing and was worried about those lights, but she didn’t say anything to Lilly. They were very tired and hungry when they walked into the city, but there was food everywhere! People petted them and made sweet sounds as they walked by. One lady tried to take Gigi, but Lilly stepped on her toe and saved her.

They were very careful when it started to get dark and stayed close together. They made their way through the crowds and found all sorts of sweet treats. Candy corn and chocolate were their favorites, and they ate like little piggies always do:) When they snuggled up to go to sleep that night, they started to cry because their tummies hurt, and they missed mommy, daddy, and Mylah. 

In the morning, they decided the city was not for them. They found the road that brought them there and started back home. The trip home was fun because they talked about their adventures as they walked, and they knew where they were going this time. They were not scared any more, and squealed together when the vegetable gardens started to pop up. Carrots and cabbages were just what they wanted! Their tummies settled down, and they started to skip. Before too long, they recognized their farm and began to run.

Mylah, the tiny baby pig, was the first to see them, and see started to squeal and clap her little feet together. Mommy and daddy came to see what was going on, and they jumped up and down and hugged Gigi and Lilly!  It was time for all piggies to be in bed, so they jumped over the fence and got into a big piggy pile in the soft, warm mud. Lilly was happy to be home. She listened to the piggy snores, smiled, and drifted off to sleep.

The End:)

Fountain of Youth:)

Spending the day with Lillyann and Mylah yesterday was a dip in the fountain of youth. The reason for the revival was staying in the present moment. When I’m with them, we play, eat, love, nap, play and eat some more. That may not be a catchy title for a novel, but it’s a great plan if you want to live life as a kid:) I needed the girls yesterday, and I’m thankful to be with them today and tomorrow. Sometimes, I just know I am where I am meant to be, and yesterday was a perfect example of that feeling. I love it when God does that, especially after a tough lesson.

Lillyann likes to pretend she’s a puppy, so Mylah and I got into the game and walked her, fed her, and patted her on the head. It was so funny to watch them playing. Mylah shrugs her little shoulders and just beams when she gets into the pretending and understands what’s going on. She looks so much like mama when she does that, and it blesses me to see the connection. Tyler snuck in on us as we were playing last night, and the girls just went wild. It’s nice to be somebody’s rock star:) I love watching my son play and love his girls; there is no greater joy for my heart.

I may have been dipped in the fountain of youth yesterday, but I was ready for bed by 8:30:) That may be why kids have more energy than we adults. They sleep ten to twelve hours each night! I think I’ll start following their example and see what happens. Kids stay in the present until adults start giving them reasons to dwell in the past or worry about the future. The fountain of youth is possible when I spend time in the present and stop letting tomorrow and yesterday creep in and steal my peace. Focusing upon the simple things and remembering to play and pray keeps life what God created it to be, a time to love and connect to one another. I am so very thankful to have the time and opportunity to do just that with my sweet little grand daughters. God uses them very effectively to teach beautiful lessons. Thank you God:)

The Company One Keeps

“Judged by the Company One Keeps” has been a favorite poem since a friend shared it with me decades ago. I would recite it to my middle school classes because they could relate, not to the drinking but to the fact that all is not as it appears to be. I agree, and the poem always reminds me to be cautious when judging. Here’s the poem:

Judged by the Company One Keeps
by Unknown
Frequently attributed to Benjamin Hapgood Burt.
  
One night in late October,
When I was far from sober,
Returning with my load with manly pride,
My poor feet began to stutter,
So I lay down in the gutter,
And a pig came near and lay down by my side;
Then we sang “It’s all fair weather when good fellows get together”,

Till a lady passing by was heard to say:
“You can tell a man who boozes,
By the company he chooses”,
And the pig got up and slowly walked away.

My students loved the poem for the same reason I do; there is a ring of truth to the simple, silly lines. So often, the one who seems so good and innocent isn’t who they appear to be. That’s true in middle school, and it’s true as long as we live. God placed the poem in my path this morning to teach a lesson and bring a smile because He knew I needed both after a frustrating evening.

Judging isn’t my job, and God makes that very clear on many occasions as He lays out His plans throughout His beautiful word. It’s the only sin that comes with a disclaimer. “Do not judge so that you will not be judged.” Matthew 7:1 NASB The ten commandments do not carry such warnings, and I believe it is because judging falls into a special category when it comes to sin. Ranking sins involves judgment that hurts God’s work. Judging is playing God, and that is best not done.

I justify judging by saying things like, “They’ve hurt me before, so I know they’ll do it again.” That sounds reasonable and gives solid ground to my claim to pass judgment. If I am to love my enemies and those who hurt me, I must also give up the right to judge them along with the right to retaliate. Judgment and retaliation go together, and that was made clear to me as God taught a tough lesson in love, forgiveness, and the importance of non judgment when it comes to living peacefully, walking in His kingdom, and being the loving witness He so desires for me to be. Fear is at the heart of judgment and will keep me from doing His will if I become its victim. Sometimes, I need to slowly walk away and not worry if others do not understand.

Some lessons pull the rug out from under me, but they leave me flat on my face, humble, and ready to pray. There are advantages to being a slow learner:) Being still and being quiet are two skills I have yet to master, but God knows how to get and hold my attention in a way that helps me see things from His prospective. I see His point much better when face down, and it’s also much easier to be still and quiet in that position.

So far, the sixties have been a challenge. I’m hoping that, like March, they will go out like a lamb as they’ve certainly come in like a lion!!

 

Petty or Peaceful Pace?

Macbeth’s indifference in regard to the death of his wife reminds me that life without God is indeed a petty pace filled with strutting and fretting on a stage. The best of intentions still pave the path to hell and keep me from spending time in God’s kingdom. The frailty of life was vividly brought home to me this week, and I was reminded that my time here is very brief. God provides a peaceful pace that takes tomorrow and yesterday out of the way.

Here’s a reminder of Shakespeare’s famous lines:

Macbeth:
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

A century is a mere blink in the vast expanse of eternity, so life is brief as well as fragile. God allows me chose whether my blink will be a wink, a nap, or a space filled with His love. My life can signify nothing as Macbeth bemoans. It can be played out with sound and fury or pass unnoticed. The good news is that it can also be filled with God’s love. It’s my choice. I cannot grow nearer to God and not grow nearer to those in my path. I cannot grow nearer to those in my path without changing the way I look at the world. I cannot change the way I look at the world and not change the way I live and love.

This journey is designed especially for me, and I don’t mean that in a selfish way. God gives me time and space to apply His love. What I do with His gift is up to me. I am very grateful for the lessons He gives and for the freedom to decide how I will live. Love cannot exist without choice; freedom and truth accompany true love. Trying to get others to like and love me has caused a great deal of damage to my heart. I finally understand that being a loving presence has nothing to do with winning friends and influencing people, and that’s a relief:) It’s taken a long time and a lot of help, but I get finally get it. I don’t regret the way I’ve learned or the fact that it took so long. I have no desire to fret about the slowness or strut about the understanding.

My pace has been petty for sixty years, and my mistakes have been numerous. God’s pace is always peaceful and never petty, and a life lived with Him will be the same. Tomorrow creeps into the petty pace when God isn’t in the picture. When He’s Lord of my life, then today doesn’t leave room for tomorrow or yesterday. The present literally becomes just that, a beautiful present given each morning that I get to open and decide how to spend. Worry and regret will creep in if I open the door to tomorrow or yesterday; but if I keep my focus upon God’s sweet presence, I can live life at a peaceful pace and enjoy every moment. As my dear friend would say, “That’s a life worth living forever.” I agree:)

 

Simplicity

Finding simplicity in this complicated world is almost impossible. It’s illusive and quickly flees as soon as I reach for my planner. Simplicity is essential when it comes to witnessing, and opportunities are lost as I rush in and complicate God’s plan with my wonderful ideas. His plan is a simple one to which I add my own bells and whistles. The first step in finding simplicity is renewing my relationship with God. Connecting to God allows a wonderful fullness that spills over and enables my witness to become His.

Connecting to God is as important to my heart as drinking water is to my body. Being dehydrated last week reminded me of what happens when I don’t get the water my body needs. My spirit also gets dry and craves the living water Christ offers. Sabbath is is a long cool drink of living water that gives me the strength and love I need to connect to others. God refills and restores my sluggish soul and spirit as I take the time to be near Him and drink in His love.  As I’m recharged, His love spills over into all I do. A beautiful regenerative cycle begins.

My life has been about making others happy and fixing whatever’s wrong. It’s no wonder I found myself emotionally and physically drained. That’s not the love Christ showed. I’m not sure where I got my model for expressing love. Perhaps it’s just the nature of a middle child. I see clearly the futility of that cycle now, and I’m glad to be out of it and into the regenerative one. True love knows that fixing and doing debilitate and end up hurting rather than helping. I’ve done enough enabling in my life to know it doesn’t work.

Loving is so much more than enabling. Love spurs me to do for those I love, and Jesus makes it clear that all are to be loved. I find I am actually doing more for others than ever and enjoying it more as I let God lead and ignore the pull for attention and the yank of guilt. Taking them out of the equation leaves a beautiful open space for love. Love requires space; that is another simple truth I’ve learned this month.  Love grows, blooms, and is able to form deep roots when given space, and love that grows deeply is love at its very best. Love that does indeed last forever:)

Sweet Side Effect:)

Side effect is defined by Bing as “a usually undesirable secondary effect produced by something.” Usually is the key word; the side effect I’m talking about is a very positive one. As I pray, I notice a sweet side effect that helps me understand Christ’s call to prayer. When I pray for someone who has hurt me or treated me unfairly, I notice that my attitude towards them begins to change. It’s a slow process that requires more than one dose of prayer to get the desired result, but the beautiful feeling defies description.

I see why Jesus sits at God’s right hand and prays for me unceasingly. He knows those prayers change me and bring me closer to God. When I understand that, I am also drawn near to those who have been at arm’s length or further away. Barriers are broken, priorities change, and suddenly the distance is absorbed by the love that intercession frees. There is nothing more powerful than intercession or Christ wouldn’t be doing it.

As I told my class this morning at church, if you’re looking for a financial advisor, shopper, lawyer, or sugar daddy, you need to find another Savior. This One is about the business of praying and lifting me up to God. So many look to Christ to get and do and fix. He loves and prays. Others need a superhero who is going to vanquish and kill. He loves and prays. Some might ask if that’s enough. As I’ve come to understand Who Christ is and Who He isn’t, I have come to know it’s more than enough. Prayer is the least and most any of us can do.

It’s only taken me sixty years to come to that understanding, but I’m thankful to finally get it. The fifties allowed me the space to find out who I am and begin to understand Who God is. I’m thinking the sixties is going to be more about what I am here to do. The call to prayer came at 57, but I kept God on hold for three years. I prayed during that time but not as He desired. I came up with my own to-do list and ignored His. I’m humbled that He never hung up on me but rather waited lovingly for me to understand the nature and importance of His call. I often wonder if the human life span is getting longer because it’s taking us longer to figure out what it is He’s trying to teach us while we’re here:) I say that as the slowest and most stubborn learner I know.

I’ve been sixty for almost a month, and I have to say it’s been an eventful twenty-five days. The lessons have been difficult, but the learning has been amazing. Change may be the theme for this decade, and that’s okay with me. Whatever God has in mind, I want to be open and ready to hear and respond with love. The good news is that I’ve lost ten pounds and can wear clothes I haven’t worn in years! I wouldn’t recommend the diet plan to anyone, but I have to say that I learned that I have to make some changes when it comes to what and how much I eat. Another positive side effect!

Change is good, and I know the sixties are going to be wonderful. Lessons in love are pointing me in the right direction, and my heart is changing. Maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks if you grab her attention and use the right motivation:)

Friends Who Pray Together…

Job 42:10 says, “And the LORD restored the fortunes of Job when he had prayed for his friends; and the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before.” Praying for and with those in my path is so very powerful, and it is the call God placed on my heart three years ago. The power of intercession was clear as Ethel drove me to the ER yesterday afternoon. While I was retching away, she was praying fervently. Her hand on my shoulder and her sweet utterances surrounded me and reminded me of the love such prayer represents. When God clearly called me to pray and study, I am ashamed to say that I was disappointed. I wanted to do more than pray and study, so the wrestling match began between Him and me. I kept adding this and adding that to His call because I thought it needed beefing up.

I can’t think of many kids I can outwrestle, and even little Mylah can wear me down and pin me to the floor, so I’m not sure why I thought I might win this match with God. He wrestles as one who knows His strength and has confidence in who He is. He puts His hand lovingly on my head and lets me swing away until I get tired of fighting. Again, being face down puts all things into perspective:)

The scriptures for the past two weeks came, as always, when I needed them, but they humbled in a way that left me wondering why God puts up with my willfulness. I know the answer to that question; I’m His child, and He loves me dearly. Knowing that is a big part of the lessons this week. As I’ve struggled with a simple virus, I have been touched by the outpouring of love offered at so many levels, but I have also come to a place of repentant humility in regard to God’s call.

Jesus is my priest and intercedes on my behalf unceasingly. He sits next to God and prays for me. The Holy Spirit utters prayers that I cannot begin to understand much less voice for myself. As I listened to His message this week, I was struck by just what that means. Ethel’s fervent prayers and sweet touch made a difference. Rita’s willingness to come and get me, take me home, get my medicine, and do chores I needed to do touched me deeply, as well. Sharon drove to a hospital in another city because she thought I was there. That also touched my heart and healed in a special way. My prayer partners lift me up in a powerful way as do so many others. I am, indeed a very wealthy woman.

Having someone who prays with and for me is the greatest gift I can ever hope to receive in this life. Jesus knows my heart better than anyone, and He and the Holy Spirit are constantly praying and lifting me up before God. I have a friend with whom I can share everything without judgment. Sharing prayer with love is as good as it gets, and friends who pray together do indeed stay together. Job was restored after praying for his friends because God knew he had learned the greatest lesson of all; I am here to pray for those in my path and be a loving presence. Job’s friends had forsaken and judged him, but he prayed for them anyway. He was blessed beautifully as a result of his unselfish love for them.

The week filled with silence, fasting, and dizziness has left me reeling at times, but I found balance in the reeling when I realized that a call to prayer is a call to be like Jesus. He made it perfectly clear today that when I think praying is not much of a call, I am dismissing His own call. That sobered, humbled, and got my attention. I don’t plan to dismiss His call ever again or try to make it what I want it to be. The irony is that I used to tell my mama when she cried and said, “All I can do is pray” that it was all any of us could do. I keep saying that my autobiography should be called “Take My Advice; I’m Not Using It” because I do know better. I just don’t always live in a way that indicates that I do. I’m thankful for His patience:)

I have a new attitude when it comes to praying and studying as I understand that God’s call is His and not mine. That was the most powerful message this week. When Lillyann says the blessing at the table, she puts one hand on her mouth and says, “Thank you God.” I believe she knows more about prayer than I do. I also know that kids know a lot more about everything until adults start teaching them to be like them:)

Like a Trembleur

Like a toddler learning to walk or a drunk trying not to hit the floor, I found myself seeking balance again this morning. I had a relapse after pushing myself to do too much and eat too much far too quickly. That’s a lot of too’s, but you get the idea. In the wee hours of the morning, I was afraid something was amiss, and when I tried to get up, it turned out my fears were well founded.

I have a friend who turns wood, and he is working on a trembleur. I had no idea what that was until he showed me a piece he had made that was similar but not the right dimensions to cause the trembling or wobbling which gives the piece its name. I was fascinated by the wiggly object and felt an immediate kinship as I am a wiggler myself:)

Making a trembleur isn’t easy and requires very patient hands, steady rests, and solid nerves. I fear that leaves me out of the process. It was actually used as a test in France to see if a turner was ready to leave his apprenticeship and become a journeyman. It seems an apt test, but one I’m sure many did not pass the first time around.

Trembleurs are attached to a base that allows the carving to wobbly freely without falling down. I thought of how like a trembleur I am when it comes to balance and falling down. If I attach myself firmly to Christ, the wobbling becomes dancing, and the trembling becomes prayer. The lessons this week have been about stillness and prayer. I needed the virus, the vertigo, and the trembleur to get the point God has been trying to get across to me. I love it when He puts just the object in my path that I need to see and feel to get the message He has in mind. I’m a visual learner and a kid at heart, and I love the notion of a piece of art that moves.

God expects me to move, as well, but He also needs for me to be still. The base of the trembleur brings stillness and stability that lets the wood dance. Eugene Peterson calls the sweet indwelling of the Trinity the Trinitarian Dance. I have felt that beautiful filling and much prefer it to the spinning rooms that came with this virus. I still tremble when I come into God’s presence, and I hope I always do. Knowing to whom I pray brings that trembling. Knowing how much He loves me turns the trembling into a worshipful dance:) God also knows how very much I love to dance!

I’m not up to editing today, so this is what it is. Forgive my mistakes and use this rough draft as an opportunity to extend grace to one who isn’t feeling well:)

Here’s a site that shows how to make those amazing trembleurs if you’re interested. trembleur_eng.htm