Category: Love

Temptation

When Satan tells me what I want to hear,

I’m tempted.

When he says it’s best for those who are dear,

I’m tempted.

When I’m at the end of my rope,

I’m tempted.

When he offers a ray of hope,

I’m tempted.

When I am divided and filled with fear,

I’m tempted.

When I can’t feel God’s presence coming near,

I’m tempted.

When I breathe in the Spirit’s breath,

I stay.

When I stop and think of Christ’s death,

I pray.

When I open my heart and ears,

I hear.

When I take a look at my fears,

I see.

When I remember Who God is,

I exhale.

When I remember I am His,

I smile:)

“Speak Low if You Speak Love”

In Shakespeare’s play “Much Ado About Nothing,” Don Pedro says to Hero, “Speak low if you speak love,” and that’s the thought God also placed in my heart this morning. Don Pedro is bidding Hero to lower his voice, and it’s sound advice to all who speak of love. Love is serious and lowering the voice is an indication of the importance of the subject at hand. Valentine’s Day is coming up, and I have to laugh as I think of the way love is distorted and twisted on the day. It reminds me of Santa Claus and Christmas. The intentions are great, but love gets lost in both translations:)

God also reminded me of a favorite poet and poem this morning. I used to have my students memorize “A Word is Dead” by Emily Dickinson to help them remember the importance of spoken words.

A Word is Dead by Emily Dickinson

A word is dead when it is said, some say.

I say it just begins to live that day.

Pastor John reminded me this week that the message from 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 is a lot about the way I speak. I hadn’t thought of those passages in that way before, but his message and God’s lesson this morning helped me see the importance of the way I speak about love. I breathe life into each word I speak, and those words take on the life I give to them. So, I should heed the words of Don Pedro in “Much Ado About Nothing” and speak softly and seriously when I speak love. My heart is deeply touched with a tender “I love you” whispered softly in my ear. There is nothing more precious than hearing that Christ’s precious love is for me, and it is best to speak softly when I speak of His love to others and be mindful that I will give life to those words of love.

Valentine’s Day becomes much like Christmas Day as we lose the meaning of both occasions in what becomes a scream fest of who got the most and best flowers, candy, diamonds, presents, etc. The irony is that both St. Valentine and St. Nicholas were humble men with extraordinary meekness who would literally shudder to think of how their names are used today. This Valentine’s Day, try speaking low when you speak love. True love needs nothing more, and try the same strategy in your witness of Christ’s love to the world. Turning the volume down and using a fewer words are what make my loving and praying like His.

Rehashing Regrets & Rehearsing Worries

I spend far too much of my time with God and dear friends rehashing and rehearsing instead of simply listening and loving. If I spend hours a day in prayer or conversations that are about me, I miss the opportunity to spend time with and love God and those near to me. The result is feeling worse when I finish than when I began. If I stay in those precious moments and hear God’s heart and the heart of those I hold dear, I leave the moment renewed.

When I let God fill me instead of trying to fill Him in, I end my time with Him feeling full and empty at the same time. It’s a beautiful feeling. I spent too much time yesterday rehashing and rehearsing and let worry keep me from enjoying the precious love before me. The problem with rehashing and rehearsing is both are a senseless waste of time. I miss the beauty of the moment and the love God has for me if I allow the past and the future to interrupt the present.

The praying life embraces God without smothering Him with past regrets and future worries. It does the same in everyday occurrences. Prayer, conversations, and time together become precious moments that connect my heart to His and those I love. God used a beautiful sunset to catch and hold my attention this evening. I felt His loving reassurance and forgot about those regrets and worries for a moment. It made me want more, and that is the sweet side effect of a loving presence.

I pray that I will enjoy the sweet moments of love God places in the path and see them as the beautiful gifts He intends for them to be. I’m eating Belgian Chocolate Gelato as the sun finishes setting and listening to the distant chatter of two delightful little girls playing in the tub. I’m practicing savoring, and as a dear friend reminded me yesterday, I like it:)

Great Fishing Strategy:)

Last night, we looked at Luke 5:1-11 during our evening worship time. It was a powerful message that left me wanting to know how I could reach out as God desires.

“Now it happened that while the crowd was pressing around Him and listening to the word of God, He was standing by the lake of Gennesaret;  and He saw two boats lying at the edge of the lake; but the fishermen had gotten out of them and were washing their nets.  And He got into one of the boats, which was Simon’s, and asked him to put out a little way from the land. And He sat down and began teaching the people from the boat. When He had finished speaking, He said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.”  Simon answered and said, “Master, we worked hard all night and caught nothing, but I will do as You say and let down the nets.” When they had done this, they enclosed a great quantity of fish, and their nets began to break;  so they signaled to their partners in the other boat for them to come and help them. And they came and filled both of the boats, so that they began to sink. But when Simon Peter saw that, he fell down at Jesus’ feet, saying, “Go away from me Lord, for I am a sinful man!” For amazement had seized him and all his companions because of the catch of fish which they had taken;  and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon. And Jesus said to Simon,“Do not fear, from now on you will be catching men.”  When they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed Him.”

I am always struck by those scriptures, and last night on my way home, I asked God to help me with my own fishing. I wanted a strategy. I love and appreciate His sense of humor and had to smile as two wet little girls taught an important lesson in witnessing.

Tyler was putting the new dining room table and chairs together, and Gina was at a meeting when I arrived home. The girls were playing and ready for a bath. I took them downstairs and filled the tub. They love to play in the water and have to be wrenched out when they begin to resemble pale raisins:) I put Lilly’s hair up so it wouldn’t get wet, so little Mylah, who will not normally have so much as a tiny clip in her hair, insisted on having her hair put up like Lilly’s. That took some doing as she has very little hair, but I finally got hair up and girls settled down.

They wanted washcloths, so I gave them each a soft little cloth. I soon discovered they had no intention of using them to wash themselves. They fashioned the cloths into little blankets which they wrapped around two toy fishes in the tub. I wish I had a video of what happened next. They got very serious looks on their faces, rocked the little fish, and began singing lullabies in unison to the fishes, holding them lovingly all the while. I realized God was giving advice on how to fish for Him. Take a fish and love it!

God’s fishing, like His teaching, isn’t like the world’s. I’m thankful for His sweet lessons and for the adorable little teachers whose lesson will stick with me the next time I have the opportunity to go fishing with God. He is love, so the method the girls modeled for me makes a whole lot of sense:)

Self Gratification and Deprecation

When it comes to self, it doesn’t matter if I focus on the self deprecation that makes others laugh or the self gratification that placates me. Both leave me empty in the long run and keep me from walking in God’s kingdom as I should. I twist and play with my hair and have for as long as I can remember. Mylah loves to play with my hair, and when I took her downstairs for her bath last night, she was delighted that my hair was down so she could run her little fingers through it. It’s even more satisfying when she twists it:)

When I found that playing with my hair was a form of self gratification, I was surprised and a little embarrassed. I knew it made me feel better, but I didn’t realize it was considered an activity similar to sucking one’s thumb. I still play with my hair, but I just don’t feel bad about it. I do take note if I start twisting because it means that something is on my mind or heart. I may just be thinking of the day before me, but I also may be hurting. That was the case when I went to bed last night.

It was an amazing day yesterday, and the warm sunshine after a week of horrific winds, water and snow was truly a gift from God. The girls and I played outside for a long time, and I also found time while they were napping to sit in the sun by the pool. Worship was wonderful last night, and the singing left my heart soaring. Mylah and Lilly were adorable in the tub as they took their little washcloths and wrapped up little toy fish and sang lullabies to them. I went to bed a very happy Gigi indeed:)

As I prayed, I started twisting my hair. I knew something on my heart that needed attention. God helped me find and face the root of my angst, and I relaxed and slept peacefully. The lesson God had for me in the hair twisting prayer was that much of our conversations are about me. It’s okay to go to God when I’m hurting, but it isn’t okay for me to be at the center of my prayers. I saw praying as the ultimate form of self gratification, and I was humbled by the lesson.

Dying to self is a painful process that leads to greater joy than any form of self gratification found on earth. Those three little concrete steps presented themselves as I left services last night, and I was taken aback when I looked down and saw the steps from my dream night before last. God amazes me when He teaches the obvious with love, and He did just that last night. The steps leading out of the church office were the steps in my dream, and they lead out of the building and into the world. I so need the filling and fellowship I get from the church body, but God gently reminded me that I need to take that filling and fellowship out into His world in a way that changes me and it.

I learned at an early age to use self deprecation to get laughs from those around me, and I still have to be mindful not to put myself down when I make mistakes or feel the need to apologize for the way I am. I am learning that who I am is who I am. God is teaching me to love myself, and Dr. Steibel reminded me that we need to love ourselves for God’s sake (Richard J. Foster and Emilie Griffin.) That was an amazing lesson during the prayer retreat that I play to remember. Self is an expression of who I am, but I have to make sure I don’t get caught up in gratifying or deprecating because that isn’t what God desires.

Praying is personal, and God loves to hear my heart. He, like all of us, doesn’t enjoy listening to a litany of self-loathing or a rehearsal of my plans and problems. He would rather our conversations be about Christ and how His Holy Spirit is working through me. He has a lot to add to that conversation if I will be still and let Him share His ideas with me:)

Whether it’s self gratification or deprecation, it still amounts to be self-centered. That keeps me from drawer nearer to God and to those in my path. Intercessory prayer is a beautiful antidote when I find myself getting too far into myself. Remembering who God is and who I am brings our conversations to a beautiful place of connectedness, and that feels better than anything I’ve ever felt:)

One Size Does Not Fit All:)

Prayer is very personal, and one size does not fit all. Just as we are all special, so is the way we pray. I’ve looked at models and methods my entire life in an attempt to improve my praying in the same way a diet might improve my health. Praying, like living and loving, is something we each do differently. I’m sure God is glad about that:) Otherwise, he would be inundated with impersonal rote rituals that would surely put Him to sleep. It would be like talking to a machine when you call to get help. Technology is making those standard messages a little better, but I know of few things in this world that irritate me more than having to listen to those impersonal menus with general answers that leave me shaking my head when I need more.

When it comes to praying, it is easy to get into ruts that sound like those recordings. It’s like getting forwards in your inbox instead of a personal messages. Praying is conversing with God, and I don’t have to say a thing for Him to know just what I feel. He knows my heart, but telling Him my deepest desires allows me to see and hear them. Just as talking to a trusted friend helps me hear my heart, talking to God is so much more healing. He knows me better than anyone and loves me more than I am able to grasp.

The most important element of prayer is love. The scriptures last week from 1 Corinthians 13 were about just that. Without love, it doesn’t matter if I fast and stay on my face for forty days. Love is what lifts prayers to God, and love is the foundation upon which all effective prayer rests. Loving someone is praying for them all the time. It is as involuntary as breathing. Love gives life to my prayers and is where the praying life begins. It allows me to die to selfish wants even when those wants seem to be what is right. It’s hard not to pray for all things to be made right, but I know in my heart that all things cannot be perfect. If they were, we wouldn’t learn anything while on this journey.

It is in the sufferings and hurt that I lean upon God. He is always there to get me through the darkness. If all were perfect, I would lose my yearning for His presence. That yearning is the yarn that holds my heart and this world together. Praying connects me to One who understands my heart whether hurting or happy. He cries with me and celebrates with me just as my pray partners here. That is really what prayer is all about, and I’m learning to make the connections that make this journey a praying life filled with compassion for others and a deeper love of God.

Decisions, Divisions….

Life is a series of decisions that affect all those in my path. Every decision I make puts me either closer to God or further away from Him. It is impossible for me to make the right decisions without the help of the Holy Spirit. The old saying, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” is wise indeed. Doing what I think is best isn’t the way to go. I have to listen to God and trust His Spirit when it comes to decisions. If I allow His Spirit to help me obey when I don’t understand, I will find joy and peace. Good intentions often lead to divisions as differences of opinion abound when it comes to what is right and best.

Being still for an instant before speaking or acting allows time to pray and gives God space in which to work. I have always been a go-getter and a doer, and I can get a lot done in a little time when motivated. The practice of stillness in each moment allows me to do what God has in mind. I still get much done, but those tiny prayers leave me less frazzled. God has given me many opportunities to practice that stillness this week, and I can tell a big difference in what I’m doing and how I’m doing it. That’s a big step on the path to a praying life.

One beautiful side effect of the new way of praying is the quality of my sleep. Racing thoughts are gone because they are all about plowing through the day without those still moments of prayer. The stillness before each decision takes care of them one at a time throughout the day, and the time of prayer before sleep finishes off any loose ends. I’m finding there aren’t very many left at the end of the day. I’m busier than ever, watching only a few minutes of TV each day, and more connected than ever. The images God gives are clearer without all the static, and His Word is alive in a new and beautiful way.

Decisions still divide, but the divisions are ones I need. I have the tendency to make connections that are unhealthy, but I’m finding it is much easier to connect as God desires when I practice those moments of stillness. The battle is always between what I want or what someone else wants and what God desires. Selfishness and the desire to please are powerful forces, but they do not hold a candle to God’s love. Seeing Christ’s love in each decision brings a sweet unity with Him that makes each decision a little easier. My praying is often simply saying, “I love you Lord, Thank you God, or Help me Spirit.” Simplicity is best when it comes to praying; the same is true for talking:)

A sweet sense of peace comes with each decision that brings me nearer to God. That helps me know I’m going in the right direction, and that makes this journey a joy:)

As I Live and Breathe

Prayer is so much more than I ever imagined it to be. I’ve read many wonderful books about praying by those who have beautiful connections to God. My favorite is “If You Will Ask” by Oswald Chambers, but “The Only Necessary Thing” by Henri Nouwen also touches my heart as does his “Way of the Heart.” Christ is the perfect example of a praying life. He sits at His Father’s side and prays for me without ceasing. That’s a praying life. He was able to sleep peacefully during the storms He faced while here on earth. That’s a praying life. He lived and breathed prayer, and I am beginning to understand that such a praying life comes as the result of deep love and complete trust in God.

As I listened to the wind howling and tossing objects about last night, my spirit was at peace. I let God’s love wash over me and asked His Holy Spirit to be like that wind and take all from me that wasn’t what God desired. He helped me first name that which was keeping me from Him. Judgment, anger, frustration, and selfishness were taken in His mighty rushing presence. As the wind howled, I let go of resentment and past hurts. Love doesn’t keep an accounting of wrong doing were the words I heard clearly. I agreed and felt a warm sense of peace as the furnace came on and warm air brushed my face. I smiled to think of God’s presence in every moment. Praying brings me into that presence whether it is a howling wind or a soft warm breeze.

As I live and breathe in His Spirit, I will have the cold north wind knocking me over, but I will also have the sweet warm indwelling that takes me out of myself and into the path that leads to a praying life. Dr. Sophia Steibel helped me see the importance of having a praying life as opposed to a life of prayer. Love and prayer are things I talk about very often, but living them out in the way God desires changes me in a beautiful way. Irene Padgett showed me the sweet face of a praying life filled with intercession. Ann Voskamp reminds me that I can have a Christian lingo without having a Christian life. John Tagliarini is a dear friend and prayer partner who has nudged, picked up, dusted off, and helped me see the beautiful effects of a non anxious loving presence. He helps me walk in God’s kingdom now. I thank God each day for those He places in my path to help me draw nearer to Him. Hand-in-hand is the way to walk in God’s kingdom, and the path is best traveled together.

Here’s John’s message on a praying life. I pray it blesses you as much as it blesses me:)

“A Praying Life” Dr. John Alden Tagliarini

The Beginning and The End

As I showed Lillyann and Mylah the book I was writing for them, I told Lilly that she could read it when she was older. She said, “Yep, when I’m your age, I can read it.” I had to smile and pray that she isn’t as slow as her Gigi when it comes to love. It’s taken me sixty years to finally “get it,” but I get it now. When it comes to love, Jesus is the beginning and the end:)

Anytime I have the Children’s Story, I know that God has a very important lesson for me. I’ve had it for two weeks and have it again on Sunday. It’s from 1 Corinthians 13, a beautiful way to end God’s “Lessons in Love.” I’ve struggled and searched for days for an object that represents love. Hearts, valentines, candy boxes, special cards and gifts from the past, little things Tyler made me when he was young just didn’t seem right. Love is in all of them, but gifts aren’t love.

I pray more intensely when I have the story because I know it’s important to get to the heart of the message and have a simple object that helps the little ones and me get God’s point. As I’ve gone in and out of my room this week, I’ve seen the object from last week’s lesson on my dresser. I threw away the picture of Jesus that was in pieces because I didn’t like to look at it, but I kept the one that showed my sweet, smiling Savior all in one piece.

Each time I passed the picture, I’ve touched it and said, “I love you!!” Last night, as I prayed once again, for God’s help with the story, I saw the smiling face of Jesus. God didn’t slap me in the back of my head, but I did smack myself on my forehead. Jesus is what love looks like because Jesus is love!! I’m glad God didn’t say, “Duh!” but I certainly did.

Since mama died three years ago, my search for love has intensified and become more of a quest than a journey. Mama was my anchor when it came to love, and when she left, my heart was disconnected. The journey has been like the ride the disciples took on the stormy sea, and my faith has been like theirs. Last night, He calmed my heart just as He calmed the turbulent waters in Galilee. Mark 4:35-40 describes that scene then and my troubled heart.

“On that day, when evening came, He said to them, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd, they took Him along with them in the boat, just as He was; and other boats were with Him. And there arose a fierce gale of wind, and the waves were breaking over the boat so much that the boat was already filling up. Jesus Himself was in the stern, asleep on the cushion; and they woke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Hush, be still.” And the wind died down and it became perfectly calm. And He said to them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?” NASB

Last night, Jesus looked at me with love and asked me the same question He asked His disciples. I have to admit that I felt pretty silly and was thankful for the beautiful smile that made my fears fade and my faith full:) So, Lillyann and Mylah, if you want to know what love looks like, here it is.

 Jesus Smiling

I love you both with all my heart, and I pray that your journey to find love is a beautiful one. However long it takes or wherever it leads you, may you find sweet comfort in Christ’s precious and perfect love. My love always is His promise and mine, Gigi:)

There is Nothing Without Love

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 makes it very clear what happens without love. Nothing!

“If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.” NASB

Without love, I am nothing. Paul makes it clear, as did Jesus before him, that love is all that truly matters in this world. Without it, nothing makes any difference. God is love, and if we don’t have the level of love He desires, all our efforts miss His mark. Paul’s description of love is a beautiful one that shows a deep love for God and for others. He implores the church at Corinth to see the point of love.

The point of loving is getting closer to God. Each time I rock Mylah to sleep, read with Lillyann, talk with a hurting friend, or participate in any act of love, I feel a connection to Christ’s heart. The smallest act of love is a thousand times better than the greatest effort done out of obligation. Whether indebted or beholden, it all amounts to less than nothing without love.

The world has replaced love with lust and obligation, and the results are obvious all around. Love begets love, and that makes a difference in me and the world. True love wants nothing in return, and that spurs me on as nothing else can.

Living with my sweet grandbabies has taken love to a new level, and I’m amazed at all they are teaching me. Whether watching them sleep or showing them ways to love one another, I grow closer to them and to God with each act of love. Living with someone allows love to manifest in the mundane, and it is in the everyday that God loves for us to love. He, nor we, need extravagant gestures. Hearts and flowers flounder, but good night kisses and morning hugs last a lifetime.

Mylah asked about mommy and daddy as she was drifting off today. I told her that mommy was at school and daddy was at work. I added that Gigi’s right here. She smiled that beautiful smile of hers, played with my hair and closed her eyes. That’s love. Lillyann snuggled next to me and whispered while she was falling asleep. I looked at her sweet, sleeping face, and my heart just melted. That’s love.

I’m learning about love from two very adept teachers. The girls love with abandon, and that’s the way we all love until we learn the world doesn’t always appreciate that kind of love. I believe in the miracle of Christ’s precious love, and I have hope for the world because it does belong to God:)