Category: Poetry

Is There An Easier Way?

It’s been a week of great loss in my community as we mourn the death of two precious young men taken too quickly from the loving arms of their families. I also lost a dear friend who was a big part of my life and very like a sister. My heart has been going through a difficult time lately, and I found myself wondering if love is worth the pain.

The cost of loving is great, and my heart will be broken each time I chose to love.  I know that well, but as I prayed this morning, my heart begged God to help me understand the pain. Isn’t there an easy way to love? Of course, I knew the answer before I asked the question. If there were an easy way to love, Jesus would have shown us how to love without hurting. His way of loving involves great pain, and His heart was, and still is, broken in ways we cannot imagine. Separation from God is hell, and losing loved ones is a taste of the torment of that horrid place, but choosing not to love is condemning my heart to stay there.

The good news is that God is love, and He prepared the way for us to love Him and share His love with others. It broke His heart to watch His Son die, but His resurrection sealed our hearts with the sweet assurance that His love is forever ours. Death does not stop love; it reminds me of the cost Christ paid so I could love. I plan to keep loving with all my heart because it is the only way I know how to love, and I plan to remember Christ when my heart is breaking.

An Easy Way to Love?

Why must the heart be broken

Over and over again?

Isn’t there an easy way

To love without feeling pain?

 

God’s quiet response to me

“It’s the only way I know.

It broke My heart to pieces

To watch my beloved Son go.

 

Endure the pain of loving,

And then you will understand.

The joy that comes from loving

Is worth all the the heart demands.”

A Little Levity Goes A Long Way:)

A sweet friend reminded me yesterday that “A little levity does the heart good.” I agree and am learning that a levity lightens the load when I go to God in prayer. God’s lesson this morning was about the power of a little laugh to lift my spirit and remind me that seriousness has its place. He appreciates humor and uses it to teach because He knows I retain much more information when humor is involved. I thank God for His sense of humor because it also brings levity just when I need it. God has an amazing sense of humor. If you don’t believe me, go look in the mirror:)

I often drag my worries to God in prayer rather than running to Him in delight. Wednesday mornings are special in that I get to sleep in. After fourteen hours with the girls on Tuesdays, I’m usually ready for sleep as soon as I get them settled in. Last night was no exception, and I awoke this morning after eleven hours of beautiful sleep. Playing with children is the best sleep aid ever!! I was sad as I looked at the clock thinking I missed the girls bounding in say good morning. I was sure they had been up for a at least an hour. I’d rather hear their squeals of delight than have the extra sleep, but I also appreciated mama’s desire to let me sleep in.

Just as I was having that thought, I heard the sound of incoming squeals and sat up in bed. I told Lillyann that I thought she had forgotten me, and she jumped in bed with me and gave me a big hug. Little Mylah had stopped off to get her baby doll and carriage, but she came in with a grin from ear to ear and a story to tell. Mama came in smiling behind them. Things were as good as they get, and I truly loved and savored each moment.

God used the girls to remind me that my prayers should be just like those little ones coming to my room each morning. We had decided early on that my bedroom would be a refuge and place of peace away from everything. I laugh as I type that now because that was what we all thought would be best as we learned to live together. What we have found is just the opposite, but having it be an off limits place earlier makes it all the more delightful for them and me now. The girls love to come in and look around. Mylah always goes straight to mama’s picture and carries it around with her. I find it in the strangest places and know mama would be tickled to see her fascination with her photo:)

God’s presence is an off limits place until Jesus opens the door and gives me access. What I find when I go into His presence is the awe the little girls have when they come into to Gigi’s room. What I am learning about His sweet presence is that He delights in my coming in as much as I delight in having Lillyann and Mylah come into my room. There is nothing I like better than having them come in and crawl into bed with me. I am learning to be like the girls and come into His presence as they come into mine with joy and complete abandon.

The girls come to me when they are hurting and tired, and they come pleading for something they cannot have. I love them all the same and hold them, rock them, or tell them no with love. My Father in heaven does the same. I cry at times when I don’t get my way, and I have even look at Him with tears and ask, “Don’t you love me?” We all know how that breaks our hearts, and it breaks His too. There are times when I’m angry with Him and argue thoughout an entire night or day. There was even a dark time when I turned from Him in shame and stayed away for decades.

Every morning cannot be filled with squeals, and much of my praying is for those who are hurting deeply. I am thankful for the times of levity that lift my spirit and the sweet squeals of delight that fill my heart with love. Whether I squeal, sob, sigh, or scream, God loves me all the same. That’s the beauty of God, moms, dads, dear friends, and Gigi’s; they love you no matter what, and that causes me to go to God as I go to them with joy in knowing it’s safe to say what’s on my heart. A little levity goes a long way in helping me not take myself too seriously, and it is changing the way I pray. I’m sure God breathes a sigh of relief when He hears my squeals of delight just as I do when those dear little girls converge on me every morning. What a sweet wake up call and beautiful lesson on the path to the praying life:)

It’s not perfection and piety God desires from me

Holiness and humility will bring me to my knee.

Levity is also there and will set my spirit free:)

“Speak Low if You Speak Love”

In Shakespeare’s play “Much Ado About Nothing,” Don Pedro says to Hero, “Speak low if you speak love,” and that’s the thought God also placed in my heart this morning. Don Pedro is bidding Hero to lower his voice, and it’s sound advice to all who speak of love. Love is serious and lowering the voice is an indication of the importance of the subject at hand. Valentine’s Day is coming up, and I have to laugh as I think of the way love is distorted and twisted on the day. It reminds me of Santa Claus and Christmas. The intentions are great, but love gets lost in both translations:)

God also reminded me of a favorite poet and poem this morning. I used to have my students memorize “A Word is Dead” by Emily Dickinson to help them remember the importance of spoken words.

A Word is Dead by Emily Dickinson

A word is dead when it is said, some say.

I say it just begins to live that day.

Pastor John reminded me this week that the message from 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 is a lot about the way I speak. I hadn’t thought of those passages in that way before, but his message and God’s lesson this morning helped me see the importance of the way I speak about love. I breathe life into each word I speak, and those words take on the life I give to them. So, I should heed the words of Don Pedro in “Much Ado About Nothing” and speak softly and seriously when I speak love. My heart is deeply touched with a tender “I love you” whispered softly in my ear. There is nothing more precious than hearing that Christ’s precious love is for me, and it is best to speak softly when I speak of His love to others and be mindful that I will give life to those words of love.

Valentine’s Day becomes much like Christmas Day as we lose the meaning of both occasions in what becomes a scream fest of who got the most and best flowers, candy, diamonds, presents, etc. The irony is that both St. Valentine and St. Nicholas were humble men with extraordinary meekness who would literally shudder to think of how their names are used today. This Valentine’s Day, try speaking low when you speak love. True love needs nothing more, and try the same strategy in your witness of Christ’s love to the world. Turning the volume down and using a fewer words are what make my loving and praying like His.

Perfect Pace

Hectic pace

Frantic race

Crowded space

Christ’s grace

Open space

Relay race

Perfect pace

Growing Pains

My heart holds fast to the past

Not allowing me to grow.

My head races on ahead

With my heart and soul in tow.

 

My heart is stretched to breaking

By the tug of war inside.

My spirit tries to balance

While fighting the urge to hide.

 

My soul just wants to follow

Its tendency for pleasure,

But spirit wins the battle

And seeks life’s truest treasure.

 

My heart, mind, soul, and spirit

Turn in the same direction.

Growing pains are forgotten

In Christ’s perfect reflection.

 

God’s Presence

Temple veil rent

Blood spilled and spent

Paving the way

For me each day

To enter in

Despite my sin.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep…

Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray dear Lord, my heart you’ll keep.

If I should cry before I wake

I pray my hand you’ll gently take.

Please stay by me and dry my tears

Until you chase away my fears.

Stay with me till the morning light

And meet me here tomorrow night.

Amen:)

With Me Always

When I began this journey,

You were there.

In the midst of my darkness,

You were there.

In the silence of my heart,

You are here.

In the peace that comforts me

You are here.

 

Stillness

Stillness is ever waiting

For me to slow down my pace

To stop and take a moment

And forget about the race.

 

Often I have to be forced

To wait for a circumstance

Or be worn by weariness

To offer stillness a chance.

 

When I do stop to notice

I can hear a raindrop fall

And take in the tenderness

Of the One behind it all.

While I Wait

What I do while I wait for God

Is entirely up to me.

I can sit and complain.

I can stand and divide.

I can lie down and quit.

I can look down and cry.

I can look out and judge.

I can look up and smile.

What I do while I wait for God

Is entirely up to me:)