Tag: peace

Rest in Peace

Change is never easy, but pliability brings peace to the process. When mama died five years ago, my heart was a pile of shattered clay that I tried, in vain, to put back together. Mama’s death was an expected one, but that didn’t make it any easier. We longed for her pain to end and even questioned her lingering for so long. My heart hung on to her even though I knew she longed to be with her beloved Lord. Part of the problem was that I wanted to go with her. Mama and I shared a special bond that began at my birth and continued after her death. I still feel her loving presence, and I’ve learned to rest in it.

Lillyann was born the day before mama’s last birthday. Mama thought she was born on her birthday because that’s when she saw the first pictures of her. She also believed she was named after her mother Lillie Belle. We all let her believe both. Three months after Lillyann entered the world, mama left it. She never saw her sweet great-grandbaby in person, but she loved her all the same. Mama loved with her whole heart, and that caused her a great deal of grief. She told me over and over that other people weren’t like us and that would break my heart one day. I carried her fear of being hurt into all of my relationships. As a result, I connected to those who could not, would not, or did not love me the way my heart needed to be loved. Over the past five years, love has entered into my life in new and beautiful ways that have allowed my heart to rest in love. I know I am loved and see myself as God’s beloved daughter.

The powerful lessons this week have been about trusting God to change the desires of my heart and then resting in His love. I’ve never been one to rest or trust, so it has been a challenging week. I’ve prayed fervently for God to make the desires of His heart the desires of my own, but I realized this week that I have to trust and rest before that can happen.  I’m not sure when or how it happened this week, but my heart rested into a pliable peace that was very much like the feeling you get when you notice a terrible headache is gone.  I knew in October that resting and relaxing were going to be an important part of the learning this winter, but I wasn’t sure how God would get me to do either. I was thinking hibernation, but that isn’t at all what God had in mind.

Resting in peace is associated with death. I prayed fervently for mama to find such rest when she left this world. One rarely finds peace in this world; but just as we can walk in God’s Kingdom now, we can also rest in His peace before dying. It never occurred to me that rest was related to obedience until a friend reminded me that relaxing into obedience is part of the journey toward holiness. I learned this week that I can rest in obedience, rest in hope, rest in peace, rest in grace, and rest in love. In fact, with the help of the Holy Spirit, I can rest in all things. Once I allowed my heart to rest, I felt the pliable peace of Philippians 4:7, and it changed everything.

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (NASB)

Christmas is the season of peace on earth, and there is still nothing that brings peace into our hearts like the pure unconditional love of a child. God knew that when He devised His plan for peace on earth. His Son’s precious love captivates our hearts as we remember His birth. May the pure love of Immanuel bring pliable peace to all our hearts this season.

Sabbath Rest

In Leviticus 25:4, God instructs Moses on taking care of the land He is giving him.

“during the seventh year the land shall have a sabbath rest, a sabbath to the Lord; you shall not sow your field nor prune your vineyard.” (NASB)

Sabbath rest is holy rest, and it is necessary for land, bodies, and hearts. We live in a sleep deprived society that refuses to pause. Stillness and rest are luxuries that escape us, or maybe busyness is simply a convenient excuse for not stopping.

I led a very busy life before retiring seven years ago and immediately took on a new job and worked for another four years. After that, I helped with my granddaughters while my daughter-in-law finished school and began working. I know the importance of Sabbath. It is one of the ten commandments we so adamantly want displayed in public places, but I’m afraid I’ve never modeled the commandment very well.

Shalom means peace or completeness, and Sabbath is the seventh day of the week set aside for spiritual renewal. We wish others Shabbot Shalom when we hope they will find a peaceful time of renewal with God. No one knows better than God how hard it is for His children to find a moment to rest in Him, and no one desires that time together more than He.

Psalm 46:10 says,

“Be still and know that I am God.” (KJV)

It’s always been difficult for me to be still, but I am getting better at stopping my striving and being still in God’s presence. I grew up believing I had to work for God, do for God, give to God, get for God, etc…. God prefers for me to stop for a moment and simply be with Him. The practices of silence, solitude, and simplicity are vital to spiritual growth. Stillness is an important element of each.

Land will be depleted if the same crop is planted year after year; the same is true for my heart. It, too, needs to be fallow for a season. Winter is a perfect season to rest in obedience and allow Christ’s precious love to seep deeply into my heart. I know God has wonderful plans, and I know that He knows my heart better than anyone. Doing is important, and God doesn’t want me to stop doing. He just wants me to take time to rest peacefully in His presence.

I slept for ten hours last night and have found myself day dreaming one and off all day. I love my sacred imagination, and I love watching it play in the open space of my fallow heart. I used to think that was a waste of time, but I’m learning it’s the most important time of all. As I go into the holiday season, I plan to make stillness a part of my preparations. It is a season of peace on earth, and what better place to start than in my own heart.

image courtesy of Darryl Smith via rgbstock.com

image courtesy of Darryl Smith via rgbstock.com

Happy Birthday Daddy!!

Happy Birthday Daddy!
Happy Birthday Daddy!

Daddy would be 98 today, and he’s been very near my heart over the past few days. Foy Hart Holden was born to Anna Scruggs and Flave Holden on June 16, 1916 on a farm near Brevard, North Carolina. He was the oldest of nine children and learned from a very early age that hard work was part of life. He worked in the fields, but he also dreamed of more. He told me once that he worked himself to death getting out of the mountains for a better life, and I went right back up there. He asked me what that said about me, and I replied, “that I have more sense than you do.” He and I were on opposite sides of the fence most of my life, but he grinned from ear to ear at my response. He loved the mountains and knew I was right.

I’ve never known anyone who loved to garden more than daddy. Every day, he came in from work, changed his clothes, and headed straight to his beloved garden. He took a small city lot and turned it into a work of art. He filled in the koi pond in the backyard and made it his prize heirloom tomato patch. He composted the scraps from our table and turned them into dark, rich soil that produced mounds of delicious food. He may have left the mountains, but the mountains never left him.

We always had fresh, frozen, or canned food from the garden on our table, and I loved every bite. I wish I had paid closer attention when he tried to get me interested in gardening. I learned some of his tricks, but I regret not learning more. Daddy worked in his garden until dark every week night and all through the weekend. I realize now it was powerful therapy for him to dig deeply and bring life from the soil. There was nothing daddy loved more than the first fruits of his labor, and I always think about that when I come across a reference to first fruits in the Bible. There are many verses dealing with bringing God our first fruits. I know from daddy that it takes a lot to give them to Him.

Daddy did much more than garden. He also taught me the value of hard work and education. He had an appetite for learning that I inherited from him. Tyler, Lillyann, and Mylah all have his insatiable curiosity. They love to take things apart and put them back together just as he did. Daddy always had something he was fixing or making. Those who work closely with Tyler, know he won’t stop until he figures out how to fix a problem that needs fixing. Daddy was the same way, and I love seeing his curiosity in my son and granddaughters.

I was with daddy when he had his stroke. I’ve never been more scared in my life than when I took him to the hospital. This giant of a man was suddenly weak and vulnerable. As the doctor asked him questions, I tried not to look shocked by the answers he was giving. He was looking at me with fear in his eyes, and that was something I’d never seen before. Two men put daddy on a gurney and left us alone for a moment. Daddy looked up at me with something else in his eyes.  I knew he wanted desperately to say something, but he wasn’t physically able to do so.

I held his hand, looked into his eyes, and told him I loved him and knew that he had loved me the best way he knew how. I felt a beautiful sense of peace as I watched his eyes smile and his face relax. Daddy had dancing eyes that were always filled with mischief. I smiled when I saw them dancing in that brief moment. I thank God for a sweet moment of clarity and for the love that filled the space between us. I marvel at the way God closed a gaping hole in both our hearts and brought an end to the senseless war that raged on for decades. Past hurts no longer mattered as love brought our hearts together. That precious moment is what I will always remember most about my daddy.

Happy birthday daddy!! I love you and think of you every time I look at Tyler, Lillyann, and Mylah 🙂 I’m glad we all got your curiosity and your love of life. It makes the journey a lot more fun. I know you’re resting in peace, but I also know you are most likely up to some sort of mischief or following God around asking if there’s anything that needs to be fixed 🙂

Possessed?

The Nature of LoveThere is a world of difference between love and lust, grace and greed, and peace and power. Lust, greed, and power are shiny objects that take my attention away from God. I know His love is better than anything this world has to offer; but I occasionally fall prey to the bling in my path. God reminded me this morning that bling is temporary and loses its luster as soon as I gain possession of it. His love will not be held or captured, and He will never hold me captive or attempt to possess my heart.

The need to possess is at the heart of lust, greed, and power. We have all been possessed by someone or something at one time or another, and we’ve all had the desire to possess something or someone at some point in our lives. Lust, greed, and power revolve around that desire. Love, grace, and peace exist outside the realm of possession. They flourish in freedom and reside with truth. It’s human nature to want to possess, but Christ taught a new way of living and loving when He came into the world as a man. He possessed nothing and had everything. He didn’t need Satan to remind Him that lust, greed, and power cause great temptation. Christ knows exactly what they do to a heart, soul, spirit, and body. His precious love releases us from captivity and gives us a new heart.

Christ’s grace showed the world a new kind of power, and His love brought a peace unlike anything the world had ever known. Like a child chasing a butterfly, I  end up straying from the path and find myself on a very slippery slope when I take my focus away from God. He is always there when I fall on my face. He and I both know it’s the best position for praying.

It’s easy to get caught up in my agenda or the agendas of others, but it happens a lot less when I keep my eyes on the One who exemplifies love, grace, and peace. Jesus took the lust, greed, and power that put Him on the cross and turned it upside down. The beautiful result is unending love, amazing grace, and unexplainable peace.

The lessons over the past two weeks have been difficult ones that pushed my heart beyond what it could handle alone. God never leaves me, but He will not possess me. I’ve made terrible decisions when it comes to love. I’ve tried to possess and hold on to it. God gently taught me that possession goes against the very nature of love. What I control or possess does not define love in my life, but what I am able to let go of does.

God placed Melanie Gainsley’s quote back into my path today. It sums up the lessons in love God began the year mama died, and it was in my path then. It was so hard to let go of mama. I realized today that love doesn’t have to let go because true love doesn’t hold on in the first place. 

“Sincere love is not born of possessiveness but of necessary space and distance.” Melanie Gainsley

 

Starting Point

The starting point is more important than the final destination because it defines my journey. If I’m stuck in the past, I’m never able to catch up to myself. If I keep a foot in the future, I hobble along at a pitiful pace. I do both and end up stuck or stalled as a result. If I start where I am by making peace with my present, the journey will be as God intends. I rehash my past, rehearse my future, and miss my present.

Ice and snow have made for treacherous travel this week; when I finally did get out of the house, I found myself driving around with no destination in mind. It was wonderful to be moving after being sick and stuck indoors. Then, I sat in the sun and did nothing for a very long time. It was healing to soak in the sunshine and simply be. The best traveling is done when sitting still. It’s what allows my heart and soul to spiral upward, and that’s the destination I most desire.

Culture says be productive, go places, take charge of your own future, and never look back unless you need an excuse for your troubles. In Psalm 46:10, God has a different view.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.” NIV

It’s silly to think stillness is the best way to move. Love is also a lot of silliness when you think about it. In fact, all of God’s ways are silly to the world. His ideas may be foolishness to some, but I learned this week that foolishness is the greatest wisdom of all. I plan to love when it makes no sense and be still when I feel like running. God reminded me this week that stillness is the very best starting point for any journey.

Joyful Unison

Isaiah 52:7-10 is a song of joy that is appropriate for Christmas Eve. Isaiah looked forward to the coming of the Messiah. We shout in joyful unison as we look forward to His coming again.

How beautiful on the mountains
    are the feet of the messenger bringing good news,
Breaking the news that all’s well,
    proclaiming good times, announcing salvation,
    telling Zion, “Your God reigns!”
Voices! Listen! Your scouts are shouting, thunderclap shouts,
    shouting in joyful unison.
They see with their own eyes
    God coming back to Zion.
Break into song! Boom it out, ruins of Jerusalem:
    “God has comforted his people!
    He’s redeemed Jerusalem!”
God has rolled up his sleeves.
    All the nations can see his holy, muscled arm.
Everyone, from one end of the earth to the other,
    sees him at work, doing his salvation work. (The Message)

Joyful unison comes when we proclaim the good news of Christmas. Christ is at work in our hearts, and He’s coming back. That makes me sing and shout joyfully with those in my path and helps me give and find sweet comfort in times of need.

Joy isn’t happiness, and that is a problem this time of year. Lust is powerful; we grab, get, and go at a rate that leaves us spent, disappointed, and tired after lust settles. Like dust on the floor after a big party, lust leaves a mess that is swept away or under something. It causes a downward spiral. Joy follows loving obedience and fills me with peace. Joy is free, and I don’t have to stand in line or go in debt to get it. It lifts my heart and brings me nearer to God and others. Greed surrounds this beautiful season designed to offer something better than what I want or expect.

Joy, love, hope, and peace are what Advent is all about. As I look forward to Christ’s return, I am able to wait patiently because I understand that love is all that matters. The opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s lust. Wanting what I want may get me a little temporary happiness, but it keeps me from finding true joy and peace and leaves me wanting more. Trusting that God’s love is more than enough and obeying His call leads to love which leads to joy, peace, and hope. The world may not understand the difference between joy and happiness, but Christmas celebrates the birth of someone Who lived out the difference beautifully.

God’s gift of Immanuel brought, brings, and will always bring love, joy, peace, and hope to the world. It’s what creates the joyful unison Isaiah foretold. May it be fulfilled in our hearts this year.

Love Joy Peace Hope

Justice of the Peace

As I read Isaiah 11:1-10, I get a beautiful sense of peace and hope. The poem promises justice and peace to a world filled with injustice and discord. I love the way Eugene Peterson translates the verses in The Message.

“A green Shoot will sprout from Jesse’s stump,
    from his roots a budding Branch.
The life-giving Spirit of God will hover over him,
    the Spirit that brings wisdom and understanding,
The Spirit that gives direction and builds strength,
    the Spirit that instills knowledge and Fear-of-God.
Fear-of-God
    will be all his joy and delight.
He won’t judge by appearances,
    won’t decide on the basis of hearsay.
He’ll judge the needy by what is right,
    render decisions on earth’s poor with justice.
His words will bring everyone to awed attention.
    A mere breath from his lips will topple the wicked.
Each morning he’ll pull on sturdy work clothes and boots,
    and build righteousness and faithfulness in the land.

The wolf will romp with the lamb,
    the leopard sleep with the kid.
Calf and lion will eat from the same trough,
    and a little child will tend them.
Cow and bear will graze the same pasture,
    their calves and cubs grow up together,
    and the lion eat straw like the ox.
The nursing child will crawl over rattlesnake dens,
    the toddler stick his hand down the hole of a serpent.
Neither animal nor human will hurt or kill
    on my holy mountain.
The whole earth will be brimming with knowing God-Alive,
    a living knowledge of God ocean-deep, ocean-wide.

 On that day, Jesse’s Root will be raised high, posted as a rallying banner for the peoples. The nations will all come to him. His headquarters will be glorious.”

I hear a beautiful correlation between justice and peace. When true justice reigns, there is peace such as the image of animals living in harmony and children not knowing fear. It is a reminder of what life was like in the garden before sin entered the scene and brought a terrible discord to God’s world.

Christ’s righteousness and faithfulness changes everything. He is the green Shoot that promises a new world as His justice becomes the instrument through which peace returns. I never thought about Jesus being the Justice of the Peace before reading Isaiah this morning, but it is a fitting title for a king Who is unlike any this world has every known.

Advent is a time of hope that brings with it a promise of peace. When Christ returns, He will bring justice that reveals the living knowledge of God that is deeper and wider than all I can imagine. Until then, I pray we will seek justice for the poor and the needy and love others in a way that brings all of us a little closer to one another and His Son’s precious love.

isaiah_11_6_9

Something to Think About

Photo credit All Good Thinking
Photo credit All Good Thinking

Philippians 4:7-8 are perfect verses for Advent because they set my mind and heart in the right direction and promise peace when I dwell where God wants me to dwell. My mind wanders toward worry far too much of the time, but these verses center my heart and mind and fill me with peace.

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” NASB

Here are the words from verse eight found in various translations. I find that when I dwell on things which are

True

Honorable

Right

Pure

Excellent

Praiseworthy

Lovely

Fine

Good

Reputable

Authentic

Compelling

Gracious

Best

Beautiful

Admirable

Just 

I find myself filled with the peace promised in verse seven.

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7 NASB

Photo credit About Midnight
Photo credit
About Midnight

Advent is a beautiful season meant to focus my heart and mind upon Christ’s return. I can think of no better way to prepare for that wonderful day than keeping my heart and mind fixed upon those things in verse eight so I can dwell in the peace promised in verse seven.

Love is Light Luggage

Today marks my first guilt-free Labor Day since 2002. I left my husband of thirty years on Labor Day eleven years ago, and my heart has been hanging on to a suitcase filled with guilt since then. Letting go of the guilt has been like giving birth in a strange way, but I’m the one coming out of the darkness and on to the shore. I knew better than to enter a marriage based upon guilt, but I did it anyway. The narrow religion of my childhood was an unforgiving birth canal in which I stayed for far too long. It constricted my heart and made me feel guilt going in and coming out of my marriage. There are still many who see divorce as a cardinal sin, and I fell into a pattern of apology and wore my relationship status much like that scarlet letter Hester Prynne donned.

Miserably married folks were particularly irritated by my divorce, and I see now it was simply a case of misery loving company. ‘If I have to stay married, so do you’ was a prevailing attitude. I found myself defined by yet another negative label, and it hurt my heart deeply.  I know now that I put those labels  on my heart, and I found others who agreed with me. It’s been the theme of my heart until this year. I see myself in a new and beautiful light for the first time, and I’ve let go of those hateful labels that weighed down my heart and broke my spirit. Ripping off the labels was a lot like tearing bandages off healing wounds. They didn’t come off easily and took little pieces of my heart with them when they did.

The pieces of my heart that were attached to those labels are gone, and they aren’t coming back. Like skin pulled away with a bandage, they needed to go. It was worth all the pain of the past month to see the beautiful new heart under those labels. God has been creating that heart in me for almost three years, and it’s been a process that brought both amazing love and deep hurt into my path. Last week, God took off the labels when I finally agreed to let them go. He  tossed them in the trash and bid me to look at my new heart through His eyes. I can’t describe how I felt when I saw the new me; I cried cleansing tears of pure joy. Obeying God was the key to my makeover. I listened as never before and heard love. Love changes everything, and that was the lesson my heart so needed to hear in order to heal.

I was stuck in a ridiculous rut for eleven years that took my heart to its lowest level ever. I longed for a way out, but I continued to go deeper into darkness and almost drowned. God had other plans, but those plans could not begin until I agreed to obey Him and Him alone. I let religion define my relationship with God, but He showed me that only love can do that. Love lifted me once again as I found myself drowning in a sea of guilt unable to reach the shore. God put a beautiful lighthouse  on His sweet shore of grace that gave me the courage I needed to fight my way out of the dark waves and find His love and grace waiting for me on the shore.

I’m not sure where my path will go from here, but I know that the luggage I’m carrying now is not the same I carried to this point. Grace, peace, and love are carrying me this time. That terrible load of guilt sank to the bottom of a dark sea and is right where it belongs. I feel like my nineteen-year-old self running in the woods, and that’s just where God wants me to be. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that God put a trip to Topsail Island in my path this week. My heart feels like a Topsail sunrise!

Sunrise on Topsail Island

Healing Peace

Past hurts and future worries invade my present peace if I allow them to take up space in my heart. I do wish I could stay in the present moment more and enjoy God’s presence more fully. I suppose it is human nature to forget that God’s presence is about allowing His Holy Spirit to control each moment. It’s not easy to simply be, but I’m doing a better job in that regard. I’m not holding fast to my plans and my wants, and I’m trying to live and love in each moment. Praying centers, but I have to make sure my time with God is more about being with Him than rehashing the past and rehearsing the future.

It’s been a week filled with time, and that has led to slipping into the past and fretting about the future. I caught myself feeling sorry for myself and decided to redirect and do something for someone else. It’s the surest way to truly stay in the present and forget my worries and regrets. Listening to the rain also brings me to the present in a beautiful way, and I’ve certainly had lots of time to do that this week! I love the sweet peace rain brings, and I love the sleep that comes during a downpour. I’m not sure why I sleep so well when it’s raining, but I love the feeling I get from the deep, replenishing rest that comes during a night of rain.

Healing peace is not only attainable, it gets easier as I learn to focus upon God and what He places in my path each moment. His work is never tedious, and I loose track of time when I listen to and obey Him. Healing and peace go together perfectly, and I’m sure there is research out there to connect the two. In Mark 5:34, Jesus makes a beautiful connection. “And He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace and be healed of your affliction.” NASB

I know from personal experience, that Jesus brings peace, and peace brings healing. When I rehash and rehearse, I loose peace. When I rest in God and have faith that He is Who He says He is, I find the sweet peace that heals. My heart hasn’t been as whole as it is now ever in my life, and I thank God for bringing me to this place of healing. It isn’t about happiness as much as it is about joy and holiness. Living in God’s Spirit allows me to live out Christ’s precious love in each moment, and that heals my heart, settles my soul, and brings me nearer to God.

Peaceful Rain