I’m looking forward to being with Mylah and Lillyann today. I don’t know what we will get into, but I do know we will “be tending.” That’s what Lilly calls pretending, and she loves it! She interjects as we play that we are just “be tending,” and sometimes adds, “aren’t we?” if she needs clarification. I was thinking this morning that be tending with kids is as good as it gets. Adults are not as adept at be tending as are children, so I’m glad to have a wonderful mentor in Lillyann.
Adults prefer drama to be tending, and that is no fun at all. Be tending is all about playing, and drama is all about attention. It belongs on the stage, screen, and between the pages of great novels. Everyone loves a great leading lady, but no one likes a great drama queen.
There are a number of theories when it comes to what goes into the making of a drama queen. I agree with the ones that point to a narcissistic or substance abusing parent who pays little attention and requires a behavior to get to a crisis level before they even respond. Children learn that drama is the only way to get attention, and that can carry over into adult life. It’s like the little boy who cried wolf or an annoying car alarm; no one pays attention to either. We can turn off the TV, leave the theater, or close the book; but it isn’t that simple when drama enters everyday life.
Be tending is healthy, and I encourage Lillyann to be tend:) It is a safe way to explore the world and exercise the imagination. It is also a good opportunity to explain right and wrong. I have always had an overactive imagination. It offered escape as a child because I didn’t want any more attention. My sister once told me that I got all the attention in the house. I realize that was true. Mama smothered me and daddy took out his frustration on me, so I was looking for an escape.
I still have to make sure I don’t hide, run away, or let circumstances turn into drama. I have learned to ask God to redirect my thoughts when they get out of control. God will use my imagination and circumstances for good; Satan will abuse them and point to the nearest exit. The choice is mine, and that’s a powerful lesson. The process requires lots of prayer and effort. When I find myself thinking the worst and playing out a tragedy in my head, I ask God to take over. The sooner I do that, the sooner I find peace.
God uses my vivid imagination to be tend with the girls and with what my dear friend describes as sacred imagination. That’s when I give my thoughts to God, and He uses them to teach me sweet lessons in love. It allows me to play with God in a beautiful way that isn’t “be tending” but walking in His kingdom now and eagerly anticipating His return. God can use all things for the good if I hand them over to Him. Satan would like for me to stay in tragedy mode, but God has makes it clear that life is a comedy. That doesn’t mean mean funny or without hurt in the world of theater or in life; it simply means all ends well. God promises a beautiful ending with Him in heaven, and He also promises to be with me always. Knowing that allows me to find the peace, joy, hope, and love God provides for the journey:)