I’ve been disconnected when it comes to media the past few days. In fact, I washed my phone last night and lost the last little thread of media I own. God used all to teach an important lesson in connectedness. The old me would have fretted and fumed and fussed at myself for not being clear with the cable company, not pursuing the new provider, and especially for not checking my pockets before washing my jeans last night:) I’m not who I was, and I’m not who I will be one day. I am, however, learning to be still and let God work through my mistakes.
God works in our decisions, and we blame Him when things go wrong and take credit when things go right. I’m learning that God is always speaking, but I’m not always listening. God is always present, but I’m often someplace else. God lets me make my own choices, and they are not always in line with His desires. He is faithful to speak the truth and hear my heart, but I am seldom still enough to listen to His advice. Not having any distractions was a wonderful blessing, and I thank God for the peace that filled me as I slept media free last night.
Last night was the last night in my apartment. I’ve had three apartments since leaving my husband a decade ago. All were small safe havens, and all were beautiful hiding places; but none have been a home. The new home is open and large and filled to the brim with the sound of living and loving. Mylah and Lillyann love the open spaces for playing and running. Cookie and Matza love the sun-filled living room and mostly bask there unless someone comes up the drive. Then, they do what they are supposed to do, sound the alarm:) I’ve never lived in a home with dogs inside, so this is an adjustment for me. I love the sweet, lazy English Bulldog and the energetic, happy German Pointer. They already know me, and I have the feeling I’m going to get to know them much better as we share a home.
We are designed to love and live together, and I thank God for the opportunity to be close. Last night as I walked to Meme and Pepe’s house, which is just down the road, I was thankful to be nearby as Ann’s mother Susan makes her way to heaven. She is dying, and my heart goes out to Ann as she cares for her at home. Grandma Susan is the strongest, sweetest woman I know, and everyone who ever met her could not help but love her. She has suffered at the cruel hands of Parkinson’s Disease for a decade has been unable to stand upright for years. She taught a music lesson on Friday before having a stroke later in the evening. What a blessing it is to have gotten to know and love her.
I was walking back home after sitting with Susan and Ann when I saw Tyler, Gina, Lillyann, and Mylah coming to see Gigi Susie. I knew Lillyann would wonder at her being straight on the bed as she has been bent for so long, and I prayed she would she her as sleeping peacefully. I saw a beautifully strong woman who loves God and her family. I knew that God had all of us in His hands as I looked over at the beautiful lights in town. I stood for a moment and enjoyed God’s presence. I felt at one with Him, with my sweet family, and with those in town.
I was surprised by a large SUV filled with a family from India who told me they were surely lost! I had to grin and think the same thing:) When they showed me the directions to the home they were renting for the week, I smiled and pointed at the house a few yards away. Their faces lit up with a mixture of relief and joy, and they thanked me profusely. As I walked up the drive to the house, I thought about the scripture this week. It is Epiphany today, and we remember those who traveled a long distance and found a great King in a tiny child. God reveals Himself to us each and every day, and I pray I see and hear His will in each sweet encounter on my path.