To obey, according to the dictionary, is to “do as told” or “be controlled.” I’ve been thinking a lot about obedience lately as God has asked me to give up what I love dearly. I’ve struggled, cried, begged, fussed, and even asked Him quietly if He still loves me. All were futile as He waited patiently for me to obey as He desires. I decided to give up space to God for Lent, and that has challenged me to my very core. God wants me to surrender all, and I came to a place of willingness to do just that last week as I learned to obey in a very different way.
As I prepared myself for the worst, God gave me the best. He always does that, so I have to wonder why I continue to question or doubt Him. I should know by know that He is who He says He is and knows what He’s doing. The scriptures in the path this week reminded me that my questioning amounts to disbelief. That sobering thought helped me get rid of my acquiescence and do as told with a different heart.
God’s ways are higher than mine, and I found myself shaking my head and smiling as His plans unfolded. They make absolutely no sense, but they are perfect. I love that about Him. As I questioned Him about crossing lines, He was clear that there are no lines or divisions in His body except for the ones made by others. He wanted me to cross those lines and go where He was bidding. I’ve never considered being part of more than one church, but God made it crystal clear that is what He wants. I pray I will let Him control and listen only to Him so I can make the connections He has in mind.
If I do something because I want to, that isn’t obedience. If I do something because I believe I have to, that isn’t obedience. If I have to be bribed to do something, that isn’t obedience. When it comes to obeying as God desires, I have to listen carefully and trust completely that He knows what He’s doing even if it makes no sense to me. The result is something I never could have come up with on my own, and it blesses beautifully when I finally obey with complete surrender. True obedience means not having to understand. If I do something because I understand or came up with the idea in the first place, that is worse than not obeying at all. That’s taking His place, and I’m afraid I’ve done far too much of that in the course of this journey. You know what they say about that road to hell, it is surely paved with my good intentions. I think I’ll steer clear of that path and take His:)