A friend reminded me this evening to think about what to do with my dash. It’s a simple question that made me stop and think seriously about the importance of that question. The dash is my life and refers to the little dash between my birth date and death date on my tombstone. I plan to be cremated, but you get the idea:) I’m afraid I wasn’t good company today because I decided to throw a pity party for myself and whine. Good friends come to those parties, listen to my heart, and love me anyway. I’m amazed because I don’t usually come away from them loving me! After hearing myself talk, I do come away from them with a desire to listen to God.
The changes since my sixtieth birthday have left me reeling and dizzy. I am so very thankful to be living in a beautiful home with my son and his sweet family. That change that has done my heart a world of good. There are times when I wonder if my heart will ever stop hurting. I remind myself that as long as I love, it will surely hurt.
The dash is about loving and living a life that my friend would say is worth living forever even if the dash represents only a tiny segment of my journey. The journey here is more like a dot than a dash, but it is an important time of learning. Learning is wonderful but comes at a great cost. I should know by now that anything worth having comes at a great cost. My salvation cost Jesus much, and He knows better than anyone about the hurt that comes from loving. I would rather love and hurt than not love at all, and I trust God to guide me when it comes to loving and learning.
What to do with my dash? Love as God loves and remember that the only thing that matters in this world and the next is loving Him, myself, and others. I don’t have to understand His love to embrace it, and I don’t have to understand His will to obey Him. In fact, not understanding is a prerequisite for learning to obey in a way that leads to joy. I am so thankful for the sweet friends God placed in my path today. Their love lifted my heart as His love does. Knowing I am not alone and that I am loved brings light to the darkness and hope to my heart.