Month: March 2013

A Future and A Hope

God brought me back to Jeremiah 29:11 tonight as Iwatched the sun setting for over half an hour. There is something soothing in sitting quietly and watching the subtle changes that take place as the sky goes from day to night. Tonight, I found sweet peace in God’s promise in Jeremiah.

“For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” NASB

Sunset Promise

A future and a hope:) God has both for me if I will trust Him with my welfare. He is Yahweh, so how can I ignore His promise. He keeps His promises, and He also promises not to leave me in Matthew 28:20. I need to promise Him the same. I have been thinking about thinking about Him today as I’ve been reading Philippians 2:5-11. The beautiful description of Christ is the perfect companion to His promise in Jeremiah.

Christ is the future and the hope God has in mind for me if I will just keep Christ in mind and think upon Him above all else. As the sun gave up the its last beautiful rays this evening, I knew I had to do the same and empty myself so He can give me the new beginning He has in mind. The promise of a sunset is that sunrise is just around the corner:)

Get Out From Under The Table!

The lessons this week have been powerful in many ways, but the image of a table heavy laden and set for a sweet celebration ended the week in with a wonderful wake up call as God has bid me to get out from under the table and join Him. The clear message that I’ve settled for less than He has in mind is a resounding theme I continue to hear when it comes to love. God sets an amazing table, but I continue to wait for a crumb to fall while I stay hidden under the table. I curl up at His feet and whimper when I should be sitting and enjoying all He has so graciously laid before me.

Jeremiah 29:11 is a favorite and was in my path this morning.

“For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” NASB

Romans 15:13 was also there to remind me that God’s table is overflowing with love, hope, peace and joy:)

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” NASB

God’s table is filled to overflowing with love, hope, peace, and joy. I can remain on the floor waiting for a crumb to drop from another table, or I can join Him and others at His and celebrate my love for Christ, the founder of the feast. The choice is, and always will be, mine. The seating arrangements are His, and He prefers a table filled with fellowship. His isn’t a table for two:)

My Prodigal Heart

My heart goes out to the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32 because I can relate to his struggle to find what was waiting for him at home all along. I didn’t go searching for fame or fortune as he did; I simply wanted to be loved.

I feel for the older brother who is miserable in his servitude and has neither compassion nor joy for his lost brother who is now saved. He misses the opportunity to celebrate because of his own misery. Misery does indeed love company, and it keeps me from much joy. The older brother isn’t broken, and brokenness is part of the path to God. Without it, I cannot relate to the brokenness of the world. God brings His righteousness to me through His precious Son. Until I am broken, I cannot understand or appreciate the cost of that righteousness. When I depend upon my own righteousness to be enough, I am as disappointed as the older son in the story.

Repentance requires that I admit my sin and confess it to God, and that is never easy. It humbles and reminds me of the plan God put into place before He formed the world. Christ is dismissed when I think I can be good enough or work hard enough to make things right in my relationship with Him. The only way to repair my relationship with God is admit I’m broken and in need of His righteousness.

When I do that, I find myself in the position of the prodigal son, eating slop with the pigs rather than sitting at the table celebrating with God. Until I come to that place of desolation and hurt, I cannot begin to make my way back to His table. The older son believes he deserves to be honored for all he’s done, and that is a worse position than coming to the understanding that I deserve to eat with the pigs. Heartfelt confession changes my heart and mind in a way that allows me to live the praying life God desires.

Prayer begins with acknowledging God is Who He says He is. Who I am and who I am not then becomes painfully clear. The prodigal found his way home, and it was well worth the time and money it took for him to find it. The father was a good father who understood that well. God is the best Father and knows my wandering heart needed the lessons of the humbling path I chose. Coming to the place of confession is a crossroad where I must choose the direction I will take. The prodigal could have stayed and wallowed in self pity, convinced himself it was best to stay away from those he loved, or simply given up. Many do just that. It’s why Christ tells this powerful story. I can go back to those I love after being lost, but I must go with a clear understanding of who I am and Who God is. Then, God will celebrate with me. Not everyone will be happy when the lost find their way to God, especially if they take the path of the prodigal, but they can miss the celebration if they want to, it’s their choice just as it is mine to come home and celebrate with God.

Lessons in living the praying life are promising to be a greater challenge than those lessons in love! The open arms of the father in the story of the prodigal son are a glimpse of the glorious welcome God has in mind for me. It is a story of hope from the God of hope, and I needed it this week. I guess that’s why He put it in my path:)

What To Do With My Dash?

A friend reminded me this evening to think about what to do with my dash. It’s a simple question that made me stop and think seriously about the importance of that question. The dash is my life and refers to the little dash between my birth date and death date on my tombstone. I plan to be cremated, but you get the idea:) I’m afraid I wasn’t good company today because I decided to throw a pity party for myself and whine. Good friends come to those parties, listen to my heart, and love me anyway. I’m amazed because I don’t usually come away from them loving me! After hearing myself talk, I do come away from them with a desire to listen to God.

The changes since my sixtieth birthday have left me reeling and dizzy. I am so very thankful to be living in a beautiful home with my son and his sweet family. That change that has done my heart a world of good. There are times when I wonder if my heart will ever stop hurting. I remind myself that as long as I love, it will surely hurt.

The dash is about loving and living a life that my friend would say is worth living forever even if the dash represents only a tiny segment of my journey. The journey here is more like a dot than a dash, but it is an important time of learning. Learning is wonderful but comes at a great cost. I should know by now that anything worth having comes at a great cost. My salvation cost Jesus much, and He knows better than anyone about the hurt that comes from loving. I would rather love and hurt than not love at all, and I trust God to guide me when it comes to loving and learning.

What to do with my dash? Love as God loves and remember that the only thing that matters in this world and the next is loving Him, myself, and others. I don’t have to understand His love to embrace it, and I don’t have to understand His will to obey Him. In fact, not understanding is a prerequisite for learning to obey in a way that leads to joy. I am so thankful for the sweet friends God placed in my path today. Their love lifted my heart as His love does. Knowing I am not alone and that I am loved brings light to the darkness and hope to my heart.

What I Ask For

There’s great truth in the advice to watch what you ask for because you just might get it. I am thankful God doesn’t give me what I want, and I’m slowly learning not to ask. Obedience is more listening than I like, but as I learn to listen, I’ve stopped asking and started trusting. God knows me better than I know myself and gives me what I can’t begin to imagine on my own.

The lessons yesterday reminded me of the need for contact. The day was one of disconnection, and I found myself alone as I worked and again when I came home. The kids went to play in Asheville, so I was home alone. As I sat in the sun, Cookie came bounding down, crawled under a space in the gate, and came over to see me. He sat with me for a while, but left when he saw I was going to sit instead of play. He prefers movement:) It’s good to have time alone, but I was ready for aerobics as I went to workout last night. There were only three of us, but it was great company, and my body welcomed it and the movement.

On Thursdays, I sleep with the girls to give Tyler and Gina time together. I love our special time together and especially needed the cuddling last night. I usually sleep with Mylah, and Lillyann sleeps in her bed. Last night, we all crawled into Lillyann’s bed, and I could tell both girls were excited about the new arrangement! I had the sweetest sleep I’ve had in a while. I was completely surrounded as both got as close as they could to Gigi. I thought it would be impossible to sleep in the confined little spot in the middle of that sweet pile, but I didn’t care. In fact, I told God as I prayed that the snuggling was much better than any sleep I might end up missing. Oh, me of little faith:)

I didn’t even finish the prayer I began before falling asleep and slept for ten hours. They stirred a little throughout the night, but they and I quickly settled back to sleep in that sweet circle of love. Waking up with them was icing on the cuddle cake I so badly needed after the lonely day. God knows my heart, and He knew I needed the sweet snuggling. I had to laugh at one point during the night and tell Him that my cup was running over, and He was just showing off. I’m learning that He likes to show off when I leave the asking to Him.

The praying life is a beautiful life that is teaching me to not only be careful what I ask for but simply listen and don’t bother asking at all. He is God after all and knows better than I when it comes to what I need;)

Praying Attention:)

Lillyann has an amazing imagination, and I love following her chain of thought. We were sitting at the dinner table yesterday when she said, “Look, it’s a fish in the tree!!” I saw the leaf she was referring to and even saw the semblance of a shark in it. She processes information as I do, and I plan to encourage her to keep on seeing what she sees and not worry if no one else sees or appreciates it. She has a beautiful creative spirit, and I know God will use it to bless her and others in her path.

I love to look at clouds and find all the wonderful shapes within them, and I’m fascinated by wood and the many images hiding in the grain of each unique piece. Sacred imagination is the best because it is the way I communicate with God and is a powerful component of my prayers. It shapes my prayers into sweet images which are very similar to those clouds and wood grains.

The heart is between the soul and the spirit, and Jesus fills my heart with His sweet presence. When I am praying attention, I see the images He places before me:) As I draw nearer, I see and hear more clearly. I marvel at how God knows and loves me, and I thank Him for allowing me to get to know and love Him more. He knows I’m a visual learner, and I know He is the Master Teacher. It’s a beautiful combination.

God’s reality is better than my imagination at its very best. I’ve allowed my imagination to carry me through difficult times, and I thank God for giving me a creative spirit. It blesses me and helps me draw nearer to Him. It is a gift I have learned to embrace, and I know I can help Lillyann as she embraces her own sweet personality. It is tempting to get caught up in the imaginary at times, and I’ve allowed myself to get trapped there when my reality was unbearable, mostly in matters of the heart.

I’m learning to let His reality become mine, and that is the best of all. Lillyann and Mylah are so very different. Mylah will lay on the floor in complete contentment as she decides how something is put together. She and her sweet daddy share the desire to take things apart and put them back together again. I love their unique expressions of spirit so very much and can’t wait to see how God will use those gifts.

The lessons this week have been pivotal as I have turned my attention to God and focused upon seeing His will in all things. I have been awed by God’s presence as I’ve let the things of this world fade away and embraced Him as never before. I sometimes feel the need to pinch myself to see if I’m dreaming lately, but that’s been a great side effect of living in His reality. His truth cut deeply into my heart this year and continues to do so, but His reality is a sweet balm that heals as nothing in this world.

I plan to continue looking at clouds and wood grains, and I thank Him for the creative spirit He has given me. He is the Ultimate Creator, and I am created in His image. It follows that I should create:) I pray I will use all the gifts He gives to see Him and myself more clearly while helping others do the same. There’s that nudging again! Giving up the need to be who others desire for me to be is taking off the blindfold, unstopping my ears, and getting off my treadmill. I haven’t liked all I’ve seen and heard this week, but I don’t plan to go back to the blindness, deafness, and busyness that keeps me from seeing and hearing God as He desires. Praying attention is a beautiful thing:)

Nooooo!

The fog gave way to the snow last night, so I was blessed with a very different view of the world this morning. Watching the girls come in to open my curtains and show me the snow was even better than the beautiful snow globe outdoors. The howling winds calmed, but snow was blowing in all directions. They loved showing it to me! Children have the right perspective when it comes to snow, and their excitement is contagious:)

Fresh snow is a clean slate, and there’s nothing children like better than a blank canvas upon which to create. Anyone with painted walls and children knows that! They have the right idea, and I love the new paint that allows them to create away. The snow invites me to be still and watch as God creates beauty right before my eyes. Snow is a miracle even when I know the science behind it, and it always fills me with awe.

Being with the kids makes snow all the more amazing, and it helps that Tyler is here with a truck that can navigate the slippery slopes if necessary. Fears dissipate when I know I’m not alone. I am reminded that Christ promised to never leave me, and I know that has always been true. He has always been with me, and He always will be. I know families can’t always be together, and I thank God for the beautiful and very unexpected blessing of living with my son and his sweet family. Living and loving together is what God has in mind for His world. In the living and loving, we find Him in one another and in His beautiful world.

The biggest lie in this world is that it doesn’t belong to God. It is my Father’s world, and I love the beautiful hymn that proclaims that powerful truth. It’s easy to give up on the world, but if I do, I take a little piece away from Him and give it to Satan. The world is like all of us. There is good and bad, and neither it, nor we, are perfect. God in all of us and in His world:) It is worth the effort of listening and looking deeply when I find Him in the heart of a friend, the eyes of a stranger, or on a snowy landscape.

Unlike a sunset, snow will not be ignored. I love that about it, and I believe that’s what children love about it:) Whether I like it or not, my plans are going to change. I’m finding it’s best  not wait for a snowstorm to stop, look, and listen to what my sweet Lord has to say or show me each day. This morning, He simply said, “Look at this!” I’m so glad I did, and I love that He had my two sweet little mentors make sure I began the day with the proper perspective. Lillyann immediately wanted to go outside and make a snowman, and little Mylah just kept saying, “NOOOO!” she wasn’t commenting on Lillyann’s question. She was just saying “snow” in Mylah talk, or maybe she heard God’s response to all our plans for the day and was passing along His message:)

Fog and Faith

The fog today was as thick as any I’ve ever seen. I missed seeing the beautiful mountains in the distance, but there is a soft lesson hidden in the white mist that touched my heart. It reminded me that faith is believing without seeing, and that was a lesson I needed today. I like knowing what’s ahead when it comes to finding my way, and that’s exactly what God is trying to get me to change. Not being able to see ahead is unnerving, and uncertainty about where He is leading is even worse. The praying life is about love, but it also requires a level of faith I do not yet have. I suppose that’s the point of the lessons:)

I don’t know if it’s human nature or just me, but I say I trust and then offer a list of questions up to God in an effort to find out what’s coming. Even with all those lessons in love about being present and staying in the moment, I still find myself with one foot in the future. The world says to get a foot in the door, but God says to keep both feet in the present and leave the future to Him. Perhaps one day I’ll learn to do that without having to be reminded.

Lillyann is like me when it comes to wondering and worrying about what’s coming, and I love that about her. If I ever get weary with her worrying, I just remember that I am the same way with God. He is patient and loving, and I ask Him to help me be the same. Lillyann is surrounded by those who love and care for her, and I thank God the love He placed in each of their lives and in mine. Knowing you’re loved is at the heart of faith, and God’s love is the most powerful force on earth and in heaven. How can I not have faith when I know who He is and how He loves.

Fog is part of living in the mountains, and I love watching it settle in the valleys. When it comes too close to home, I don’t like it. Today was a vivid reminder to have faith in Him when I can’t see or don’t understand what’s next on the path. The fog is lifting, and the temperature is dropping. I see the mountains, and I see the beautiful white fluffy snow clouds coming from the west. The girls are excited, and so am I:) The beauty of a spring snow is that you know warmer temperatures are just around the corner. Looking forward to the snow and also the sixties this weekend.

My faith is getting stronger, but I have a long way to go. The girls don’t worry about whether or not mommy and daddy will take care of them. They play happily as all children should. They have reminded me today to do the same when it comes to my Father:)

The Law, The Prophets, and Love

 

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 makes it clear what happens when love isn’t present.

“If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.” NASB

I never thought of these scriptures being connected to the transfiguration even though I know all scriptures are beautifully connected. The Law and the Prophets came together with Christ’s perfect love. Moses, Elijah, and Christ coming together at the transfiguration makes for an amazing scene. No wonder Peter wanted to build three tabernacles. He didn’t see at the time that Christ was bringing a special unity that would allow the law to be fulfilled according to God’s perfect plan. The prophets foretold His coming, and Jesus brought the love necessary for God’s will to be done and His Word to be complete.

Love changes everything, and Christ is God’s love in human form. Without love, we are nothing. Living the praying life means doing all I do with love. Praying is love in its purest form. Jesus sits at God’s side and intercedes unceasingly. If that is how He loves, then isn’t it the way I should also love? I see the call to pray in a new way, and I’m praying in a very different way. It isn’t as if I’ve prayed without love, but I am much more mindful of the love that makes prayer possible. It is all about connecting to His precious love first and then sharing that love as God desires.

I’ve struggled with the sharing at times, but I’m growing and learning to listen and follow His lead in that regard. I’ve had the tendency to overdo, enable, fix, and veer off His path when it comes to loving. The lessons in love over the past few years have helped me see love in a new light. I see now that was a prerequisite for living a praying life. A praying life is a life centered in sharing Christ’s precious love. That’s been the lesson this week, and I have been blessed to hear several messages about just that. Another beautiful lesson has been that God is all around me if I will open my eyes and be willing to step out of my comfort zone.

God finally got me out of the building and into the world this week. I’m not sure what’s next for me, but I do know that loving Him and sharing His precious love is all that matters whatever He has in store for me:) This beautiful message on the transfiguration helped me see a glimpse of His glory, and that helped me hear His call more clearly and have the courage to obey when I didn’t understand. Thanks be to God:)

I pray it blesses you as much as it does me. Thank you John for allowing me to share it:) 130224_Glory

Higher Than My Ways

It doesn’t surprise me that Isaiah 55:8-9 was in my path this week as God has been teaching me to trust Him and let go of what makes sense and embrace His plan even though I don’t understand. Here’s what God says through His prophet Isaiah:

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
 Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
 So are My ways higher than your ways
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”

I’ve read that verse for decades during times of trial and change, but I’m feeling a freedom this week unlike any I’ve ever experienced. There have been many changes in my life over the past two months, and all of them have nudged me a little closer to God. My ways and thoughts tend to isolate me from the world or create unhealthy attachments. I’ve been hiding my entire life in some way or another. The bars change forms, but I’m finding that the gilded cage is even worse than the dark hole because it disquises itself as something better and makes me feel as though I’ve made progress.

God’s ways are higher because His vantage point is much higher. He sees the entire picture when I see only a tiny piece of one corner of the picture. He’s given me a glimpse of His glory this week, but He’s also made it clear that it is up to me to trust Him. That trust involves surrender, and surrender is never easy. Seeing His glory helps make the letting go possible, and feeling the freedom that freefall of faith brings encourages me to not only trust Him, but also obey in a way that brings the joy only a god of hope can bring.

David says it beautifully in Psalm 19:8.

“The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart;


The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eye.”

His Word and ways are right, and when I look to His commandments and obey those precepts, I find joy as my heart rejoices in that obedience. It brings to mind verse 14 of that same beautiful psalm.

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart


Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.”

God’s Word reminds me that His ways are higher than mine and listening to and obeying Him results in joy unspeakable. He is my rock and my Redeemer, and that changes my mind and my heart in a way that changes me:)