It is in the darkest night that stars shine the brightest, but the light of those stars is diminished by the light pollution of the world. When I move away from the lights of this world and my own attempts to produce light, I am able to look up and see the stars as they are meant to be seen. The same is true for Christ’s light in me. In the darkness of the desert, I appreciate the brilliance of His love.
I resist darkness, and my nature is such that I love to be around others. Community is so very important, and nothing makes me appreciate company more than time in solitude. Just as silence helps me hear, solitude enhances community. The absence of light begs for light; the absence of connection cries out for connectedness. The opposite is true, as well. Bright lights make me want to shade my eyes, and crowds can leave me looking for a getaway.
The light of Christ’s resurrection attracts me as nothing else, and sharing His light brings me closer to God and allows sweet, honest communion with others. That level of connection helps me shed light on the darkness in my heart so I can love in God’s kingdom now. It’s easy to get confused when it comes to light, but Jesus gives His Holy Spirit to help with discernment. When I ask Him to guide me nearer to Christ’s light, He is delighted to be of assistance. He waits for me to ask and lets me grope and hope to find God without Him. When my knees and heart are bruised and broken, I turn to Him for help.
Christ lights the way and leaves me in the capable, loving hands of His Holy Spirit, but I have to be ready to give up my own search and put my matches away before He can get me out of the dark desert and into Christ’s beautiful light. It’s hard to give up the need for independence and even harder to face the fears that keep me in the dark, and no one knows that better than Jesus. It’s why He promises that He will never leave me. If I would just stop wandering off and learn to trust Him, things would be so much easier:)
journeywithgigi 
Kathy, why are we so willful when it comes to asking for and accepting help from God, do you think? We know better from the outset…yet, I had to move away to get out of a rut, out of my own way. I have to perpetually be hurt in order to learn the lessons that are there clearly in the Bible. It is SO VER MUCH the same thing as growing from childhood into adulthood, having to learn from our mistakes, when if we had only listened to our parents (who often had to allow us to make some mistakes if they weren’t too harmful,) we had an easier path, but wouldn’t have learned the lesson as well…but why do we have to be so stubborn in the first place? (Generalization, I know, and not all are, but wow, I must have a diamond for a skull, I am so hardheaded! I truly do not want to be this way, or so anal retentive and unable to let go of thing, or so analytical…I am praying and working and asking for help. Thank you for being part of what God plans in helping with the lessons.)
It is a difficult process to let go, and it’s also a continuous one. If we could do it on our own, Christ wouldn’t have had to come. The letting go and holding on are all part of the learning, but I completely understand what you say because I have been there and am still there more often than I like. Thanks for sharing the path and learning alongside me. The journey is so much better with company. Love you:)