My heart was frustrated, so I cried out, “I don’t know what I want anymore!” while praying last night. The sun was setting, so I simply sat and stared into the western horizon after blurting out my heart’s frustration. God not only held my attention but put on an amazing display that made me forget about everything but Him. A powerful thunderstorm had just rolled over the mountaintop, and the sky suddenly lit up in a breathtaking way. In the stillness and awe of the moment, I stopped crying and remembered that He is Abba Father. I sat and watched the sky in silence soaking in His loving presence.
Coming to the end of my wants allows me to reach out for God. He showed me last night that I know what I want, and I know what He wants. It isn’t complicated. I want to be loved, and so does He. So do we all. His love defines who I am; it always has and always will. I’ve grown dizzy looking for love. My heart is like little Mylah spinning in circles; it causes me to lose my balance. I end up on the ground every time, but that doesn’t stop me.
I was grounded last night, but God’s love and grace lifted in a beautiful way. The Holy Spirit brought my heart a sweet sense of peace as the sky went from a frightening stormy gray to a beautiful pink and to a soft white before finally fading into night. Turning off the lights and letting the room darken naturally brought a sweet sense of sleepiness. It took a while for darkness to come because God turns off the lights much better way than we do:)
A lingering flash of lightning came from a distant storm as the sky darkened completely. God reminded me the Holy Spirit’s comfort comes slowly at times and in a flash at others. I lost sleep Sunday evening thinking about future worries and past regrets. Last night, I slept like a baby knowing that Daddy could and would take care of my heart. Abba Father indeed:)
journeywithgigi 
I didn’t lose sleep last night (thank God,) but I haven’t been sleeping well the past 2 weeks. I have been worrying over something about which I have no control when I did take a step of faith. I am not the kind of person to give up control easily, but felt I was supposed to do this, but have done nothing but worry since doing it. That isn’t faith, that is fear, but even knowing it, I still fear and fret. God knows I am sorry and want to trust more…I am working on it. Thank you for sharing once more, my friend. You help me to built my faith and trust.
I hear your heart Regina, and my heart goes out to you. I still fear and fret on a daily basis, and I suppose I always will as long as I’m in this body. We grow in faith and trust together, and it’s a joy to share the journey with you. Love you!!