The End of My Hope

I got to the end of my hope yesterday and was feeling sorry for myself because it became clear in my heart that God wasn’t going to give me what I wanted. He quickly brought me back to my senses by gently reminding me that what He has provided, is providing, and will continue to provide is what’s best for me. God is love and knows me better than I know myself, but I continue to hang on to my hope. I suppose it’s human nature to want what I want, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who sings the same song over and over again in hopes that God will change His mind and come over to my way of thinking.

I’ve always loved the expression, “When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on,” so when I got to the end of my hope, I tied a knot in my heart, and held on for dear life. It’s easy to spot someone who’s at the end of their hope because they are always trying to convince everyone they are right. I’ve been trying to convince God and myself that what I want is best, but neither of us is buying it. The trouble with hanging on to an actual rope is that my arms wear out very quickly because they are in an awkward and unnatural position. The same is true for my heart when I stubbornly hold on to my hope. It ties my heart in knots and leaves me hanging hopelessly between what I want and what God has for me.

God placed Psalm 96:1-6 in my path to help me see my heart’s need for a new song. I have always loved the beautiful song, and it helped me let go of my hope and fall into God’s loving arms. It was healing to feel the knots in my heart slowly come undone and relax in His Hope. God’s Hope is in His Son’s precious love, and there is no holding on involved with it. I simply have to let go and let Christ do the holding.

I’ve always been one to think I had to do and carry or fix and fuse when it comes to love. God showed me with His sweet psalm that my heart is designed to sing to Him. When I do that, my hope is an unraveling rope allowing my heart to let go and lift up a new song of thanksgiving and praise. I’ve never held on to a real rope for more than a few minutes, but I vividly remember climbing a rope in high school P.E. class. It was the worst ten minutes of my young life. My heart had been holding on much longer and hurt far worse than my arms did when climbing that big rope up to the gym ceiling.

I suppose it’s appropriate that I climbed that rope in gym class back in the sixties and my heart finally let go of my hope in my sixties. I remember the sweet relief when I finally passed the rope test in P.E. I wanted to shout and sing and dance with joy! I suppose that was the point of the rope test I dreaded for an entire year before actually passing it. I felt a thousand times more relieved when I decided to let go of my hope and let God’s love untie the knots in my heart. It made me want to dance and sing a new song!

“Sing to the Lord a new song;
Sing to the Lord, all the earth.
Sing to the Lord, bless His name;
Proclaim good tidings of His salvation from day to day.
Tell of His glory among the nations,
His wonderful deeds among all the peoples.
For great is the Lord and greatly to be praised;
He is to be feared above all gods.
For all the gods of the peoples are idols,
But the Lord made the heavens.
Splendor and majesty are before Him,
Strength and beauty are in His sanctuary.” Psalm 96:1 NASB


Author: Gigi

I taught middle school for 33 years and retired in 2007. I'm enjoying my journey and loving the time I have with my three granddaughters who call me "Gigi." I want to share my journey with them and with anyone else interested in sharing the lessons God has for me on this amazing journey.

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