Beloved

Photo Credit:  Ann Voskamp
Photo Credit:
Ann Voskamp

God’s lessons this week were defining ones that led me to His love. The dry bones in Ezekiel 37 prepared my heart for the fleshing out God knew I needed. All lessons begin with truth, and that can be very painful. Such was the case this week, but God sent His rain to renew the dryness and bring new life to my heart.

The first lesson in identity was an easy one. I was a cheerleader for a very brief time as a young girl and hated it. I’m a happy, spirited person, but I’m not a cheerleader. When I was called one this week, I realized I still have no desire to be one. The second lesson was tougher but not too painful. I decided to give up my need to please others for Lent, and it’s proving to be very helpful. I was able to say no and mean it. It was great to tell Pollyanna I no longer needed her services.

My Zumba instructor helped me see myself as a dancer, something I’ve always wanted to be. God bid me to be the singer He and I both know I am. I first saw myself as a singer during Holy Week 2009. God had my heart revisit that week to remind me of how wonderful it felt to sing in front of others. He taught another lesson from that week that wasn’t as pleasant. Mama died the summer after Holy Week of 2009 when I started down a slippery slope God and I both knew would break my heart. Lessons in who I am took on new meaning when I came to the end of that path yesterday.

God didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know. However, He did make sure I saw the truth in a way I would never forget. He tempered the tough learning by showing me who I am. I’m not a father and never will be, but I felt my father’s presence in a powerful way yesterday. Daddy and God worked together to teach a lesson that broke my heart as it has never been broken before. I know it broke God’s and Daddy’s heart as well, but I also know they are glad to see me see myself in a new light.

Lessons in identity are never easy ones. Seeing myself in the light of God’s love is like be in the center of a 360 degree mirror. God knows me better than I know myself and loves me more than I can imagine. He and Daddy reminded me of that yesterday, and both made it very clear that I am to accept nothing less when it comes to love. Thank you God, and thank you Daddy.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s