Psalm 139 has long been a favorite of mine. Verses 1-6 reveal that God knows me better than I know myself.
O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand. (NLT)
Knowing that God knows all about me is too wonderful for me to understand, but I’m getting better at letting go of my need to understand and learning to relax into His love.
There have been times in my journey when I was far away from God, but He knew my thoughts even then. When I think of God’s unfailing love, I am reminded of a joke I heard decades ago. You have to think back to the fifties and sixties before front seats were divided by consoles, and seat belts weren’t in use. It was the custom of dating couples to snuggle next to each other, and you would often see them kissing at the stop lights.
An older married couple were out riding one afternoon when the man noticed his wife was unusually quiet. When he asked her what was wrong, she complained that they never sat next to each other anymore. She longed for the days when they courted and snuggled next to each other. Her husband let her vent, smiled, and said, “I haven’t moved!”
God doesn’t move, but He still follows wherever I go. He knows my coming and my going and is more aware of where I am than I am. Sometimes the distance between us comes gradually, and sometimes it comes quickly. Time and circumstance cause distance in any relationship, but I can always find God because, like the man in the joke, He doesn’t move. He lets me wander off, and He lets me come home. He knows my heart no matter how far away I get. He yearns for me to be near Him, but He never forces me to stay near. He knows holding tightly only drives me farther away, so He waits patiently when I wander off.
God knows, before I do, when I’m ready to slide over and snuggle next to Him. He never says, “I told you so!” or “I knew you’d come crawling back!!” He puts His arm around me and lets His love do all the talking. God loves me no matter how far away I get and waits as long as it takes for me to nudge a little nearer to Him and live the life I’m meant to live. I suppose I will always wander, but I hope I get better at getting back quickly because there’s no place I’d rather be than in His arms.