Category: Change

What to Wear

Romans 13:11-14 paints a vivid picture of what to wear on the journey. Dressing and packing appropriately is an important part of the journey, especially if you plan to go in a new direction. What to wear, what to take, and what to leave behind forces me to make difficult decisions. The lectionary this week begins in Romans 13:11 and tells very clearly what not to pack. I believe it’s important to step back a few verses to get a clearer vision of what I need to put on and pack before heading up the path God has in mind.

Romans 13:8-14 The Message

“Don’t run up debts, except for the huge debt of love you owe each other. When you love others, you complete what the law has been after all along. The law code—don’t sleep with another person’s spouse, don’t take someone’s life, don’t take what isn’t yours, don’t always be wanting what you don’t have, and any other “don’t” you can think of—finally adds up to this: Love other people as well as you do yourself. You can’t go wrong when you love others. When you add up everything in the law code, the sum total is love.

But make sure that you don’t get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! God is putting the finishing touches on the salvation work he began when we first believed. We can’t afford to waste a minute, must not squander these precious daylight hours in frivolity and indulgence, in sleeping around and dissipation, in bickering and grabbing everything in sight. Get out of bed and get dressed! Don’t loiter and linger, waiting until the very last minute. Dress yourselves in Christ, and be up and about!”

Since I moved in with my son and his family, waking up has become a blessing. The little girls always wake with squeals of delight. That was particularly true this morning because we had a dusting of snow. Hearing them wake up and play upstairs reminds me that I am not alone on this journey. I believe that’s the point of this passage of scripture. Love is what I need to wear. Love is what I need to pack. Love is what I need to pass along to all those in my path.

I’ve spent far too much of my live exhausted in taking care of the day-to-day and have been absorbed by worry and fret. Lust is the opposite of love and involves so much more than sex. It is what causes me to doze off and become oblivious to God. It keeps me from loving as He desires. Lust lures me into lingering and loitering, and it convinces me to wait a little longer and indulge in what I want. We are in a season of lust, and I know that breaks God’s heart.  Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas become a blur of frivolity, indulgence, bickering, and grabbing everything in sight. Many people fall into deep depression during the fall while others choose to be blissfully oblivious.

Waking up and getting dressed is a process that involves making decisions about where I’m going, why I’m going, and who’s going with me. The answer to all three questions is God. He is the Who, what, where, why and how on the journey. The only question left for me is when because He will not push me out the door or drag me along. I have to decide when I’m ready to get up, get dressed, and be up and about on His way. When I decide I’m ready to go, He’ll help me with the dressing and the packing. So, put on Christ; pack some love, and let’s get going!

photo credit talknerdy2me
photo credit talknerdy2me

“The Way We’re Made”

As I was reading Isaiah 2:1-5 this morning, I was struck by the way The Message translated verse three. “He’ll show us the way He works so we can live the way we’re made.”  The scriptures begin the readings in year A of the Revised Common Lectionary. I’ve decided to use the lectionary in a new way this year. God has been bidding me to take a new direction, and Isaiah’s glimpse of God’s path of peace is the perfect place to start. I suppose God knew it would take time for me to make up my mind, so He started working on my heart a few weeks ago.

Advent is the perfect time for new beginnings. Four years ago, I began using the lectionary as a guide for my study of God’s Word. I was working in a church office and teaching a high school class on Sunday mornings, so I followed Pastor John’s messages and found myself doing research on the passages outlined in the Revised Common Lectionary. I love the way the passages complement one another, and I love the mix of old and new testament scriptures. I began in year C and came full circle this month as I finished off year C for the second time.

As I begin the three-year cycle for the second time, I plan to look at each scripture and let God show me the way He works so I can live the way I’m made. That statement continues to strike a chord in my heart because the journey is all about finding God’s way and being who He made me to be. God knew there was no better place for me to begin than in Isaiah. He knows how much I love the prophet’s poetry. No one helps me see God’s vision better than Isaiah.

Isaiah 2:1-5.

“The word which Isaiah the son of Amoz saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem.

Now it will come about that
In the last days
The mountain of the house of the Lord
Will be established as the chief of the mountains,
And will be raised above the hills;
And all the nations will stream to it.
And many peoples will come and say,
“Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,
To the house of the God of Jacob;
That He may teach us concerning His ways
And that we may walk in His paths.”
For the law will go forth from Zion
And the word of the Lord from Jerusalem.
And He will judge between the nations,
And will render decisions for many peoples;
And they will hammer their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks.
Nation will not lift up sword against nation,
And never again will they learn war.

Come, house of Jacob, and let us walk in the light of the Lord.”

Advent begins a new year in the church calendar, and I begin a new year in my journey. I know God has amazing plans and pray I will keep to His path, walk in the light, and be who He made me to be. His Son’s precious love sheds light along the way, and His Holy Spirit is a wonderful guide and traveling companion. I look forward to all God has in store as I look at His Word in a new Light.

Christ's love lights the path.
Christ’s love lights the path.

The Feeling That Follows

At the Last Supper, both Jesus and Judas make up their minds to obey. Jesus decided to obey His Father, and Judas decided to go with his gut. Jesus knew about Judas’ heart, and I know it broke His own to see His disciple and close friend go in a direction He knew would bring separation and intense pain. Jesus would taste such pain on the cross as He bore the sins of the world. Christ’s pain turned to joy as He obeyed His Father. Judas’ momentary victory turned to unimaginable pain as he decided to go his own way. Satan satisfies self beautifully, but the pleasure is temporary. God satisfies the spirit beautifully for an eternity.

Each moment of every day, I make decisions in regard to my heart, soul, mind, body, and spirit. When I decide to follow God, I often find pain; but it gives way to indescribable joy. I get a taste of heaven when that happens and feel very close to God. When I decide to follow self, I find great pleasure; but it gives way to terrible misery. I get a taste of hell when that happens and find myself far away from Him. Decisions are, and always will be, up to me. It is so tempting to go with the immediate pleasure. I’m human and too often make my decisions based upon feeling good.

The beautiful news is that Christ made it clear at the last meal He shared with His disciples that He wasn’t leaving them, or us, alone. In John 14:16-20, He says to them:

“I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. After a little while the world will no longer see Me, but you will see Me; because I live, you will live also. In that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you.” NASB

He says the very same thing to me today and every day. The problems I have with decisions come from forgetting that I am not alone or on my own. I am one with God and Christ through the Holy Spirit. If I follow God, as did Christ, those decisions are clear. If I follow myself, as did Judas, those decisions are also clear. The difference is in the feeling that follows those decisions. With self, I get a great feeling followed by a terrible let down. With God, I get confusion and pain followed by understanding and joy. Life is all about the ending. Life with God is guaranteed to end well, and that is well worth any temporary pain that may come as a result of obeying Him.

Christ kept His eyes upon what was to come, and I have to do the same if I am to live a life, as a dear friend reminds me, worth living forever!

Time to Turn Around

When it comes to matters of the heart, God knows best. He is love, and hearts are built to hold and share His love. The decisions I’ve made when it comes to love have put my heart in harm’s way my entire life. I love with my whole heart because it’s the only way I know how to love, but I love those who are unable, for one reason or another, to love me completely. I struggle with worthiness when it comes to love. I don’t expect to be loved because I don’t believe I deserve to be loved.

God’s lessons this week left me feeling like an empty cupcake wrapper. He put the image in my heart on Tuesday, and it wouldn’t go away. My heart is empty, and it’s a feeling much worse than anything I’ve felt before. I’ve held on to hope that isn’t there for a very long time. God gently, but firmly, opened my hands and my heart to show me the emptiness. I knew there was no hope, but I thought if I held my hands clasped tightly and pretended it was there, I might convince myself that clinging to it would make a difference.

The emptiness of that cupcake wrapper turned into a vast canyon when I came to the end of the path yesterday. It stretched out before me sending my cries back in a hollow, haunting echo. I’m used to dead ends when it comes to love, but this wasn’t like anything I’ve felt before. Standing on that precipice was like standing on the pier as a child. I could step off into the nothingness or turn and go in a new direction. At five, I didn’t have a choice, but God showed me that I am not who I was. He also told me in no uncertain terms that I am not who He knows I can be either. It is tempting to just step off, but I’ve learned enough about love to know that I will not settle for life without it.

Repentance simply means to turn, and God assured me that He’s right behind me waiting for me to make up my heart and let Him lead me down a different path. There is a part of me that can’t bear to face Him, but there is a much bigger part that wants to jump into His arms. Admitting I went down the wrong path and saying I’m lost is the first step when it comes to repentance. Knowing God is patiently waiting to pick me up and carry me until I am ready to walk on my own gives me the courage to turn around. Matters of the heart matter most in this world, and it’s time for me to turn around and let God decide the direction when it comes to love.

Time to Turn Around
Time to Turn Around

Crystalline Delight

The poem “Bells” by Edgar Allan Poe goes from the light silver bells we associate with love and life to the heavy iron bells of a church tower announcing death. I used to tell my students that I would begin with the iron and move toward the silver so the reader would be left with a sense of hope and love. God reminded me this morning that love begins with those sweet silver bells and leads to the mellow, golden wedding bells. From there, alarms bells go off and death inevitably comes at some point. The way to love as God desires is to make the trip back from death.

I know it’s a strange image, but it’s one God knew I needed this morning. I understood perfectly and could relate completely to those bells. Love changes everything, and love itself changes on this journey. I came to a place of letting go yesterday, and God showed me that death isn’t the end when it comes to love. It is the beginning. Those iron bells weigh heavily upon my heart, but they lead to the brass bells that sound the alarm when flames arise.

The golden bells of marriage take on a new meaning when applied to God’s way of loving. He’s the patient groom who waits for me to accept  His proposal and unite in a way that allows my heart to be one with His. I’m afraid I’ve left Him waiting at the altar far too long. When I do show up occasionally, I give Him a warm embrace, tell Him how very much I love Him, and quickly get back to my busy agenda. He is left waiting, and that is a terribly lonely place for the heart to be. It hurts deeply to be left waiting, but it hurts even worse to realize I’ve made God wait.

The silver bells that come after the wedding bells remind me that loving God puts me in the Spirit. Christmas bells bring my heart back to a time of innocent love that has hope and is filled with a lightness that only pure love can bring. The love God has in mind doesn’t weight down my heart or scream about a four-alarm fire in my body. It makes my heart tinkle with a “crystalline delight.” Keeping love pure and in the Spirit isn’t easy, but I’m thinking the image of those bells tolling, clanging, swelling, and tinkling will help me keep my heart out of the graveyard and on the sleigh!. Those little silver bells make a heavenly sound when they join with other silver bells.

I
Hear the sledges with the bells-
Silver bells!
What a world of merriment their melody foretells!
How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle,
In the icy air of night!
While the stars that oversprinkle
All the heavens, seem to twinkle
With a crystalline delight;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the tintinnabulation that so musically wells
From the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells-
From the jingling and the tinkling of the bells.

II

Hear the mellow wedding bells,
Golden bells!
What a world of happiness their harmony foretells!
Through the balmy air of night
How they ring out their delight!
From the molten-golden notes,
And an in tune,
What a liquid ditty floats
To the turtle-dove that listens, while she gloats
On the moon!
Oh, from out the sounding cells,
What a gush of euphony voluminously wells!
How it swells!
How it dwells
On the Future! how it tells
Of the rapture that impels
To the swinging and the ringing
Of the bells, bells, bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells,bells,
Bells, bells, bells-
To the rhyming and the chiming of the bells!

III

Hear the loud alarum bells-
Brazen bells!
What a tale of terror, now, their turbulency tells!
In the startled ear of night
How they scream out their affright!
Too much horrified to speak,
They can only shriek, shriek,
Out of tune,
In a clamorous appealing to the mercy of the fire,
In a mad expostulation with the deaf and frantic fire,
Leaping higher, higher, higher,
With a desperate desire,
And a resolute endeavor,
Now- now to sit or never,
By the side of the pale-faced moon.
Oh, the bells, bells, bells!
What a tale their terror tells
Of Despair!
How they clang, and clash, and roar!
What a horror they outpour
On the bosom of the palpitating air!
Yet the ear it fully knows,
By the twanging,
And the clanging,
How the danger ebbs and flows:
Yet the ear distinctly tells,
In the jangling,
And the wrangling,
How the danger sinks and swells,
By the sinking or the swelling in the anger of the bells-
Of the bells-
Of the bells, bells, bells,bells,
Bells, bells, bells-
In the clamor and the clangor of the bells!

IV

Hear the tolling of the bells-
Iron Bells!
What a world of solemn thought their monody compels!
In the silence of the night,
How we shiver with affright
At the melancholy menace of their tone!
For every sound that floats
From the rust within their throats
Is a groan.
And the people- ah, the people-
They that dwell up in the steeple,
All Alone
And who, tolling, tolling, tolling,
In that muffled monotone,
Feel a glory in so rolling
On the human heart a stone-
They are neither man nor woman-
They are neither brute nor human-
They are Ghouls:
And their king it is who tolls;
And he rolls, rolls, rolls,
Rolls
A paean from the bells!
And his merry bosom swells
With the paean of the bells!
And he dances, and he yells;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the paean of the bells-
Of the bells:
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the throbbing of the bells-
Of the bells, bells, bells-
To the sobbing of the bells;
Keeping time, time, time,
As he knells, knells, knells,
In a happy Runic rhyme,
To the rolling of the bells-
Of the bells, bells, bells:
To the tolling of the bells,
Of the bells, bells, bells, bells-
Bells, bells, bells-
To the moaning and the groaning of the bells.

Silver-Bells

Working Out of the Old Me

I started interval training last week and love the way I feel. I’ve always  loved hanging out at the gym because of the close connection that comes when I sweat with others. There’s a realness to the gym, especially when I’m pushing myself beyond my comfort zone. The vulnerability that comes from exposing weaknesses brings a new strength and resilience as others cheer me on and sweat with me.  I’m encouraged by my sweat and theirs.

My instructors are amazing; they make me believe I can do the impossible and help me when I get off track. That’s important because I begin to see myself as they do. Knowing that God believes in me is what makes me continue along the path He sets before me. He always stretches me beyond my own limits in a loving way, and that changes the way I see myself.

Working out isn’t about getting a new body; it’s about getting rid of the old me. The me that believes I can’t, I’m too old, I’ll never be able to…. Love enables me to beat the old me and see myself in a new light. It’s what transformation is all about. Recognizing and getting past the old me’s negative notions are the keys to moving on to the new and improved me. When I saw the photo Sussy posted this afternoon, I smiled and thought about what working out means to me. It means working my way out of those negative notions and into a whole new me.

I know I can’t get to where God wants me to go until I work my way out of the cocoon that keeps me from getting out into His world in a way that allows me to be who God knows I can be. Working out is never easy, but it is much easier with a guide and others in the same boat beside me. The same is true when it comes to living and loving as God desires.

Bonnie Pfiester
Bonnie Pfiester

Doing a Little Gardening

When I find silence in a tumult, solitude in a crowd, or simplicity in a complicated life, I know I have come to a place of sweet intimacy with God. The peace that passes understanding in Philippians 4:5-7 becomes real in my heart, and I’m able to go forward knowing I am loved and capable of loving others.

“Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” NASB

I’ve also looked at the parable of the soils in Luke 8:4-15 this week and realized I am anxious far too much of the time.

“When a large crowd was coming together, and those from the various cities were journeying to Him, He spoke by way of a parable: “The sower went out to sow his seed; and as he sowed, some fell beside the road, and it was trampled under foot and the birds of the air ate it up. Other seed fell on rocky soil, and as soon as it grew up, it withered away, because it had no moisture. Other seed fell among the thorns; and the thorns grew up with it and choked it out. Other seed fell into the good soil, and grew up, and produced a crop a hundred times as great.” As He said these things, He would call out, “He who has ears to hear,let him hear.”His disciples began questioning Him as to what this parable meant. And He said, “To you it has been granted to know the mysteries of the kingdom of God, but to the rest it is in parables, so that seeing they may not see, and hearing they may not understand.“Now the parable is this: the seed is the word of God. Those beside the road are those who have heard; then the devil comes and takes away the word from their heart, so that they will not believe and be saved. Those on the rocky soil are those who, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no firm root; they believe for a while, and in time of temptation fall away. The seed which fell among the thorns, these are the ones who have heard, and as they go on their way they are choked with worries and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to maturity. But the seed in the good soil, these are the ones who have heard the word in an honest and good heart, and hold it fast, and bear fruit with perseverance.” (NASB)

The thorns of doubt, fear, and worry choke my peace and hide me from God’s love. It’s safe in the thorn patch. The weeds and thorns keep me out of the open where God wants me to be. The fruit of the Holy Spirit only thrives in the open field, so I pray for the perseverance to bear love in my life and in this world. Love brings joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. I need all in my life and know love will flourish as I ask the Holy Spirit to do a little weeding.

Doubts, fears, and worry are uprooted when I remember Who God is and who I am. I am loved, and I am not alone. That clears out those thorns and lets Christ’s light shine on my heart in a way that makes me want the intimacy and peace that only comes from loving God with all my heart and soul and mind and strength. Then I am able to love others as myself. Wonderful growth cycle that is much better than going around in circles or hiding behind the thorns.

Photography by the New Diplomat's Wife
Photography by the New Diplomat’s Wife

 

The Nature of Love

God is love, so loving Him is what Christianity is all about.  God created me to love Him and others. It was, is, and will always be the message Christ relays. His life is a life of love, and the world crucified Him for loving in ways they could not understand. The world doesn’t want someone telling them to love everyone. People wanted, want, and will always want someone to tell them what they want to hear. God allowed, allows, and always will allow earthly things to take the place of His love in the lives of His children even though it breaks His heart. God never has and never will coerce or cajole because that isn’t love.

Love is something you fall into. It might happen at first sight and feel like jumping, or it might take a while and be more like a gentle slide. The fall depends upon the individual, but falling in love changes everything. Just as all human relationships are different, so is the love between God and each of us. I am sick to death of theological arguments, denominational disputes, cajoling, coercing, how-to books, and hierarchies when it comes to Christ’s body. None of those work with love. God is love. We are His creation. He loves us and wants us to love Him back. Humans got, get, and will always get that wrong and make a mess of God’s simple truth.

John 17:18-22 beautifully describes Christ’s desire for me.

“As You sent Me into the world, I also have sent them into the world.  For their sakes I sanctify Myself, that they themselves also may be sanctified in truth. I do not ask on behalf of these alone, but for those also who believe in Me through their word;  that they may all be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me.”

The nature of love is oneness, so why doesn’t the world look more whole and less like a pile of broken glass. No one is perfect. God knows that, and He loves us anyway. Jesus knew that, and He came any way. The Holy Spirit knows that, and that’s why He’s here to stay and encourage us not to give up. I cannot love as God desires or find the oneness Christ offers without the help of the Holy Spirit. On my own, I’m just a piece of broken glass being crushed by the weight of the world’s desire to be right. With God, I become something more than I can be without Him. It’s what love does.

Oneness isn’t about forming a club or creating a new church or denomination so I can find those who are like me or criticize those who aren’t. Oneness is seeing God in everyone and everything. It’s loving those who do not or cannot love me back. It’s living in the mess knowing that that I am part of something wonderful. I’m part of God. I am love too!

I did an exercise this week that humbled, but helped me see the importance of keeping my focus upon love.  I took 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and put my name in front of the descriptions of love. I’m sorry to say I didn’t do as well as I thought I would when I took an honest look at how I compared to the nature of love. Try it yourself to see where you need some help and ask the Holy Spirit to help you where you need help so you can get you closer to God and others.

Here’s the verse with the blanks where love should be:

___________ is patient, ______________ is kind ________ is not jealous; _____________ does not brag and is not arrogant, _________does not act unbecomingly; ______________ does not seek her own, ____________is not provoked, ___________does not take into account a wrong suffered, ___________does not rejoice in unrighteousness, _________ rejoices with the truth; ________bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I hope you did better than I did, but don’t worry if you didn’t; love is patient 🙂 Thanks be to God!!

The Nature of Love

 

My Son

From the moment he entered my life, my son Tyler has been a source of joy to me. It was clear early on that he had an unusually sweet spirit, and his father and I thanked God for blessing us with him. Tyler’s father, Billy, died yesterday, and I’ve never been more proud of my son than I have been during the past two months. When Tyler learned his dad was dying, he immediately began making that process more pleasant for him. He took time from work and his family to spend it with his dad. The girls got to get to know their grandfather during a visit a few weeks ago, and their presence blessed Billy so very much.

Billy and I had a difficult marriage, but we were always in agreement when it came to Tyler. We loved him dearly and believed him to be the best thing either of us ever accomplished. Tyler is selfless and loves with his whole heart. There aren’t many folks like that in this world, and I thank God for placing him in my path because he has taught me much more than I ever taught him. My heart has gone out to him as he has had to deal with some very serious matters and emotions. He has persevered in a beautiful way, and I thank God for giving him and his dad a special time together.

Death makes all of us stop and take an accounting of our lives, and I’ve done that over the past two months. I made peace with Billy years ago, and I was glad to be able to spend time at Tyler’s wedding last year talking to him about our sweet son. Dealing with the death of a parent is a difficult part of life, and I watched my son deal with his dad’s death in a way that was surprising even for him. He’s a giver and always has been. As he told me once, the way we love isn’t easy, but it’s the right way.  I’ve seen firsthand lately what that love looks like as I’ve watched it play out in his dealings with Billy.  You’re right Tyler; it is the right way to love. Thank you for reminding me. I love you!!

Tyler

Getting a Dorm Attitude

Dorms bring people together in a powerful way, and God taught me the importance of getting a dorm attitude if I am to live and love as He desires. I was working at Western Carolina University several years ago and teaching a class at UNC Asheville. I decided it would be more convenient to stay in the dorm during the week and not hassle with the hour commute twice a day. I came close to changing my mind, packing my bags and heading home on Sunday evening, but I’m glad I decided to stay.

When I arrived on campus, I felt a sense of revival and couldn’t wait to begin preparing for the week-long class. It was a beautiful summer afternoon, so I decided to unpack my things and take a long walk. This was going to work out perfectly, and I applauded my wise decision to simplify the busy week. I was pretty smug about my wisdom until I was reminded that dorm life was a unique way of living with others and nothing like the quiet life I had been living since leaving my husband.

I finished unpacking and was relaxing when company showed up at my door. The knock had an authoritative ring to it, and I was taken back to my childhood for an instant. Was I in trouble already? I opened the door, and a very young  and very surprised young lady looked past me into the room for signs of habitation. I imagine she thought a squatter had taken temporary refuge in her suite. Her living space was suddenly invaded, and she had come to get  a look at the intruder. She was probably expecting a leftover freshman from The Summit Orientation and was prepared to get rid of them. That notion quickly fled when she noticed I was older than her mother. I explained I was teaching a graduate class for the week and would be in the room for the duration. Her demeanor immediately changed when she found herself face to face with an old teacher. She sweetly explained that she wanted to meet me since we would be sharing a bathroom. I smiled and agreed that it was important to know those who share such private quarters.

When she left, I wondered what I had been thinking when I decided to stay in the dorm. I knew the skyrocketing gas prices and the long commute were at the heart of my decision, but the thirty-year gap between my experiences in dorm living was proving to be significant. Things, especially me, had obviously changed. Shortly after my conversation with my suite-mate, I heard a concerned male voice. This added a new dimension of stress as his presence make the sharing more complicated. Naturally, I had to go to the bathroom. I would just wait them out or go somewhere else. Surely, he would leave soon. Minutes stretched out, and so did my bladder. I realized I was acting like the freshman she thought me to be earlier. I smiled at my panic and realized her boyfriend had more to fear than I because he was the one squatting. I opened the door and set off to find relief.

I had prepared myself for the inevitable confrontation and was almost disappointed at the empty bathroom.  I was heading back to my room to prepare for class when a new distraction came from the neighboring suite. The community bathroom was next to my room, and a symphony of “Oh My God” permeated the air. I shook my head and seriously questioned my sanity in booking the room and wondered how long it would take me to pack and get home.

As day turned to night, I reconciled myself to the fact that I was completely surrounded by people who not only were speaking a strange dialect of my native tongue, but were also in a different time zone. I had the sinking feeling that I was not going to get much sleep. I’m not sure when human beings start to think about how much sleep they get, but I think it must be in their mid forties. Before that, we don’t think about it. Young people don’t worry at all about sleeping, and older folks seem to worry about nothing else. I realized, in the midst of my panic, there was a silver lining in all the chaos. The bathroom was sure to be free at six in the morning.

I decided to change my attitude, mostly because I was outnumbered. Besides, I doubt the the chancellor himself would have any sympathy for me. I had been working on being less rigidly attached to things and spreading telling my friends that my new attitude was making life more pleasant, so I shouldn’t have been surprised that God gave me a little hands on experience in being less rigid. Recognizing a test increases my chances of passing, and I decided I would ace this one.

Eastern philosophy proclaims that doing things you did as a child, allows you to transcend time and literally feel younger physically and mentally. The aging process not only slows down when you play hopscotch, eat an ice cream cone, or ride a bike, it actually goes backward a bit. I needed to think like and act like a college student; when in Rome, do as the Romans do. If I stopped worrying and threw myself into the dorm atmosphere, I could benefit from all the energy surrounding me. I decided to go with the flow instead of swimming upstream.

I put on some music to get me into the appropriate mood and turned up the volume. I stopped worrying about the clock, and it was great! I read, wrote, and studied to the music. It was way past my bedtime by the time I rolled into bed, but that didn’t matter. I didn’t have any trouble getting to sleep. Dorms don’t have bedtimes, and that’s what makes them so wonderful. There must be something to the mind-body connection those Eastern philosophers claim after all. Those who worry about how much sleep they have gotten and are going to get are always tired while those who don’t count the hours they sleep are never tired. Getting a dorm attitude taught me to quit thinking about sleeping and start thinking about more important things. I’ve always been able to write best in a restaurant or busy place. Writers know it’s much better to be surrounded by energy than silence when it comes to creativity, and dorms are the place where you find lots of energy.  A simple change of attitude got my creative energy flowing, and sleeping like a teenager was just icing on the cake.

Photo Credit UNCA
Photo Credit UNCA