Category: Children

Miracles & Believing Go Together

As I looked at 1 Corinthians 12:1-12 this evening, I was surprised by the fact that some theologians believe that we are past the age of speaking in tongues and miracles. They are respected theologians, and I know they are sincere in their beliefs; but I beg to differ. The Southern Baptists can call me charismatic if they like, but I believe we are simply past the age of believing.

As we get “smarter” and figure out what God is doing and why, we lose the magic of believing. Miracles fade because they do not fit into our theology or doctrines. God is God, and He can do whatever He pleases. He doesn’t fit into our neat little denominations and could care less about our doctrines except that they get in His way.

We are one body, and that is the point of 1 Corinthians 12. We are all different and have different gifts. Rather than trying to fit gifts into neat little pigeon holes, I wish we would open our hearts and minds to that which we may not understand. Miracles happen every single day, but we’re too busy with busyness to notice. People speak of their hurt, but we don’t hear it because we are too wrapped up in our own little world to hear and interpret their words.

Gifts are given by the Holy Spirit, and He is the one who decides how they will be used if I get out of His way and believe with child-like faith in His ability to use someone as unlikely as me to do God’s work. That’s a miracle if I ever saw one!! I grow so weary of debates and denominations and long for unity that doesn’t mean get on board with my plan, program, doctrine, or agenda. God gets lost in attempts to define Him. He is God.

One day I will see God for Who He Is, and then all things will be clear. Until that day, I must treat Him as a loving Father who knows what He is doing and what’s best for me. Then, I might just be surprised to see that I really can relate to that person who is going through something I cannot understand. The language of love is a foreign tongue. Love my enemies? Be honest and open and let others into my deepest self? I cannot love without the Holy Spirit. He will interpret the unfamiliar and help me believe as a child again.

Being around a one-year-old and a three-year-old has given me a new perspective in foreign tongues, miracles, love, and the power of believing. I am regaining my child-like wonder, and I’m loving it:) The kids were coming down the mountain as I was going up this evening. Lillyann yelled over to ask where I was going. I told her I was going home. She said, “To our house?”

I replied, “Yes, sweetie, to our house:)” I believe in miracles and experience at least one a day. I would experience more if I paid better attention, believed more, and worried less:) I can believe in miracles or not; God gives me the choice. I can love or not; God give me the choice. You can choose to believe we are beyond miracles if you like, but I believe miracles are alive and well and will be as long as there is love in this world:)

Simple Lessons in Love :)

My heart melted yesterday when Mylah said “Gigi” and grinned sweetly at me. She asks about mommy and daddy when they aren’t here, and I tell her that mommy’s in school and daddy’s at work. I told her today that Gigi was right here, and she said, “Gigi.” We were both surprised when she said it and grinned with delight in each other. Lillyann immediately began to try to get her to say Lilly. Her sweet attempts caused her tongue to flap around, and we all three giggled with glee:)

Loving them is such a blessing, and I’m learning of late that it is the simple gestures, the loving touches, and a sweet shared moments that define love. Funny how a little word caught me off guard and caused so much delight. I’m loving those little moments and learning they are, and always have been, what this journey is all about. Experiencing them is better than discovering gold or finding rare gems; they are the riches God places in the path that we ignore as we get tangled up in busyness. Children get frustrated with adults because they understand the importance of those moments and wonder why we don’t.

I used to believe that achieving and doing were what my time in this world was all about. I’m learning it is more about being. The achieving and doing are part of the path, and God uses all my experiences to bring me where He wants me to be. A listening obedient heart is the key to discernment, and I am finding that keeping the girls helps me be still and pay attention to those sweet moments of love around me.

Yesterday, I didn’t leave the house and had the girls from early morning till late in the evening. As I saw and heard of the deluge that descended upon the town, I thanked God that we didn’t have to venture out. I had to get both out on Monday in the terrible mess, so I was grateful for the sweet day inside. My journey has taken a wonderful turn, and I love being with the girls. They are the best little mentors I ever had and are teaching me very important lessons with their simple gestures of love.

Love, like life, is more about simple gestures than about the grandest of achievements. When I think of it, I’ve always known that in my heart. Busyness gets in the way of being, and those little gestures get lost in the shuffle. I’m thankful for a career that kept me very busy, allowed me to make a difference, and provided the means for me to stay with my sweet granddaughters and learn God’s simple lessons in love first-hand:) It’s the best learning of my life. Like dessert, God saved the best for last!!

Sweet Settling:)

As I’m getting settled in to my new home, it’s becoming a very sweet space. I love the openness and the light. Everywhere I look, I’m overwhelmed by the views. God is at every window, and I love watching Him show off.

I never imagined myself living in a house this size, and I figured I’d be very old before I lived with my son’s family. What a beautiful surprise this home has been for all of us. There is nothing sweeter than hearing the house come to life as the girls wake up or come home. They took a stroller ride over to Meme and Pepe’s earlier, so I’m alone with Matza. The sweet bulldog is whining and wishing they and Cookie would come back. I knew just how she felt and started to join in:)

There is a sense of peace in this place, and it has a lot to do with love. God designed us for community, and I’m beginning to see why. Honesty is the key when it comes to loving and living together, and I thank God for the honest communion that surrounds me here.

Life and love are meant to be shared, and God has given me the opportunity to share as I never imagined. I’ve spent a lifetime striving, driving, and doing when I should have been being:) His Spirit needs emptiness. I used to think that meant wearing myself out. It may mean getting wrung out, but it’s a wringing that feels wonderful when I relax and stop struggling and striving:)

The settling this week has been sweet as I’ve done just that. I haven’t sweated the little stuff, and that’s made a world of difference. The most important thing about the settling this week has been the company. Everything else is just icing on the cake:)

When Sleep Won’t Come…

Neither Mylah nor Lillyann could sleep this afternoon. After wrestling with them for half an hour,  I told them if they didn’t take a nap they would have to play together while I read. Funny how not taking a nap motivated them to cooperate:) I didn’t read because I enjoyed watching them play instruments, draw, and play together.

Lillyann’s drawings amaze me. She drew an umbrella, a horse, a dog, and a little person. I was surprised in that I could tell what each was:) As they drew together, Lillyann complimented and encouraged little Mylah. Maybe not getting a nap is a good idea=) They will surely sleep well tonight after a long afternoon of playing.

Things are still in boxes, and our mattresses haven’t gotten here yet, but I told Pepe today that I was enjoying the closeness of camping on the floor. I love living with the kids and thank God for the sweet lessons in community. Family is special, and I love every moment I spend with mine. We are getting settled, and I look forward to being able to look back on this time of transition as a turning point in all our lives.

I’m learning this week to savor and enjoy each bite of life God places in my path. My journey has slowed and deepened as we’ve settled into a sweet routine. I cooked my first meal in the new house at lunch today. It was simple fare, but the sweet company made it very special. I look forward to many meals around the table and many days like today when I savor those sweet connections that make life worth living forever:)

Embracing the New:)

I love beginning a new year. I seldom go out on the town and end the old year sound asleep, but I love waking up to a brand new year. Like a blank canvas or sheet of paper, the new year begs for me to begin a new story, a new painting, a new song, or just a new doodle:) It doesn’t matter as long as it’s new.

Getting stuck in old habits is a common problem, but I’m learning to get rid of the old habits that keep me from moving forward. I catch myself slipping backward at times, and it’s great to toss those thoughts that don’t belong.  As I pack and move to my new home, I’m loving letting go of stuff I don’t like, need or want. Like the new year, the new place begs for me to begin anew. I love having a big blank canvas and am embracing the emptiness as I clean and prepare for the new furnishings.

Moving is a lot of work, and I’m sore right down to my bones.  I’ve been sleeping like a baby after all the physical labor, the laughter, and thoughts of living with my son and his sweet family. It is the stuff of peace-filled sleep, and I’m loving it.

I was astounded by the quiet at the house. I’m used to traffic and noise, so the silence got my attention when I was there alone. I stopped, looked out the window, and thanked God. I have to say that I am praying more often than ever in my life. I can’t help but pray each time I walk by a window, hear a loved one, or look at the girls running around the house. God answered my prayer for deeper understanding of His love in a beautiful, unexpected way:)

Mylah went to the wire rack where I kept their little books at my apartment and gave me a puzzled look. I decided to put their books in my bookcase under the beautiful stairway and use the wire rack for my books.  When Mylah brought my copy of “Practice the Presence of God” by Brother Lawrence, I asked her what she thought of his ideas on living in God’s kingdom now.

She smiled that sweet little smile of hers and dropped it on the floor. Kids know how to practice the presence of God until we teach them to pay attention to us!! There were no pictures in this book, so she dropped it on the floor and grabbed Langston Hughes and dropped it too. We quickly showed her the mountain of books ready to go in the bookshelf by the rocker. She found one she recognized, grinned, and handed it to me:)

Gina and Rita created a beautiful place for reading while I played with the girls. I absolutely love it! It’s a perfect example of what a difference it makes when you let go of the old and embrace the new. Books are where they belong, and all’s right in the world.

The Sound of a House Becoming a Home:)

As Mylah slept on my shoulder this afternoon, I listened to Lillyann playing Candy Land with Mere. The sound of her sweet little voice echoing down the stairway was music to my ears. Mylah’s sleepy breathing almost lulled me to sleep, but I stayed awake because I wanted to hear the sound of the house becoming a home. Love was all around, and I basked in it thinking it was a bright and beautiful day even with the steady rain.

Pepe and daddy came in with a load of furniture, and Pepe smiled his beautiful smile and closed the doors so she could sleep. I listened to all the activity and hugged Mylah while she slept. I decided not to put her down because I was afraid she’d wake up. Tyler came into the room to check something and didn’t see us there. He was asking Rita a question when he noticed us.

It was time for Mylah to wake up, and she had been stirring a little. She heard daddy’s voice and popped awake, and exclaimed DA!! She and Lillyann act as though it’s the first time they’ve seen mommy or daddy each time they see them. I love that about them! They love being surrounded by people they love, and their enthusiasm is contagious. Lillyann is so happy I’ll be down the hall from her and Mylah. She looked at the sweet nightlight Ethel gave me for Christmas and said, “Now I can find you if I wake up and want to come to your room.”

I told her that was exactly what the light was for. I can’t decide if the beautiful views or the sweet children are more distracting. Between the two of them, I may just play and stare out the window for the rest of my life. That would actually be okay with me because each time I see the girls or the views, I thank God.  Needless to say, I’ve been thanking Him a lot lately. That’s been a very positive thing, but it’s also why I’m a little behind on my unpacking:)

The kids stayed at the house tonight for the first time, and I will be completely in very soon. I love the new house. What a pleasure to witness it become a home this afternoon as happy voices and a sweet sleeping baby’s breath filled the entire space with love. The house breathed in the sounds and let out a sigh of relief, and so did I.  The sounds of love are what make a house a home, and I thank God for allowing me to witness the transition this afternoon. It was a privilege, a blessing, and a taste of what heaven must surely be like.

Moving On:)

With all the moving preparations, I find myself between two homes. Both are bare and crying out for those things which make a house a home. The new house feels like home and is a beautifully blank canvas. I noticed a few sweet, pink strokes in the hallway downstairs yesterday, and they reminded me of my new little housemates. I smiled as I thought of Lillyann and Mylah running and squealing through the house.

The girls love the house and so do I. It’s filled with light, and I wonder each time I’m there which light I’ve left on. The skylights and windows bring in so much natural sunlight that you don’t need anything else on a sunny day.  The girls will take care of the sunshine on cloudy days:) They are, without a doubt, the best part of my new home.

Since I left my husband a decade ago, I’ve lived alone. The solitude provided a safe place and the necessary space for me to grow. I’m ready to live in the sweet community God has so graciously placed in my life. I’m sure there will be challenges for all of us, but I’m also sure that love will add to the glow that God has already provided in the beautiful home.

Being between the two homes is a little unnerving, and I find myself waking with thoughts of how, when, what, and where. I settle back down when I remember that the most important feature that makes this beautiful house a sweet home is who. I know who is going to be there, and that is all that matters.

The girls are coming over today while mommy and daddy move boxes and clean the carpet. I know they are wondering about the changes taking place at their house and at Gigi’s, so I decided to fill the empty spaces in my apartment with their toys. I’m sure they will like the new decor:)

Transitions are part of the transformation God has in mind, and I know He has wonderful plans when it comes to lessons in love. Love is about living together, and I’m ready to move on and love as God desires. We are designed for community, and I’m excited about the company I’ll be keeping because nobody teaches lessons in love more effectively than children. God knows that better than anyone. He knew a baby would satisfy the world’s longing to be loved.

Healed Holes

The way to find my way is to open my eyes. The way to find God’s way is to open my heart. That means hearing and having faith when I can’t see my way. Not seeing my way is a prerequisite for seeing His:) I always take the long way around when it comes to learning, and that convoluted path gets frustrating at times; but it’s worth the extra miles when I finally get it:)

On Monday evening, the sunset was the most beautiful I have ever seen. The day was a cold, dreary, and very rainy one. I had a funeral in the afternoon, and a visitation in the evening. Around 5:30, I noticed a beautiful glow and turned to look out my kitchen window. What I saw, took my breath away. I quickly turned off the lights and stood by the window to watch God. In an hour, a dense fog descended. Visibility was terrible as I made my way to the visitation. It was a difficult two-hour ordeal that left my heart aching. I know the glimpse of God was there earlier to remind me that He was with me, and I held on to that thought throughout the evening.

On Tuesday afternoon, the funeral for my sweet former student who took his own life was a time of healing. As I heard God’s Word, I felt the ragged edges of my heart begin to come together. As I found myself surrounded by so many loved ones, I felt God”s presence in a powerful way. Immanuel! God with us. What a beautiful plan! His way became clear as I let go of my grief and let Him fill those holes with His love.

Grief opens the heart as nothing else if allowed to run God’s course. God helps me feel the hurt, absorb it, and let the holes in my heart stay open. Those healed holes, as I call them, allow love to flow more freely. It’s like having an ear pierced; the hole heals, and I can put in an earring. Without God’s help, the holes in my heart remain raw and ragged and sore.

I think holiness is having healed holes that open my heart in a wonderful way. Last night, as I listened to the sweet voices of children singing songs about Christmas, I felt whole and holy indeed. I was surrounded by little ones yesterday, and God blessed as love poured in and out of my heart as it only can when I am with children. Tears are part of healing, but so is laughter:)

Grief will always be part of my life if I plan to love, and God certainly has loving at the top of His list when it comes to living. Laughter will always be part of my life because no one has a better sense of humor than God. He designed us to love, and that means both tears and laughter.  I need both, and God is always there to cry and laugh with me.  Those who truly love me do the same.

God shares my journey and shows me His way. He knows it and me by heart:) I didn’t have the presence of mind to take a picture of the sunset, but God has another sweet former student do that for me. Here’s Stacy’s photo, and it captures just what I saw on Monday evening.

Sunset

Sleeping Babies

Watching Mylah or Lillyann sleep fills me with a sense of peace as I breathe in the sweet peace that surrounds them. Babies don’t sleep like adults and rarely make noise. The quiet that fills the house allows time and space to be still. Sometimes I sleep alongside them, but I prefer to stay awake and enjoy the peace.

I thank God that my granddaughters don’t toss and turn. I know little Mylah misses mommy, daddy, and Lillyann. They are at Sea World today enjoying the sunshine and warm temperatures. Mylah is going to ride the Polar Express this evening and see Santa Claus. I know she will love the train ride and the sweet treats, but the Christmas lights will captures her attention.

Not all children have the luxury of being children. Many grow up too quickly, and some are tormented by mental illness. My heart goes out to all children who miss childhood. It should be a time of playing and loving and laughing. Too many little ones are hurting, and it breaks my heart. Heaven is a perfect childhood in the eternal presence of  a loving Father. I  love to imagine the joy of being in God’s loving presence forever. I know He looks after me now, but sometimes the lessons of this world are harsh and difficult to comprehend.

I get a glimpse of heaven each time I watch little Mylah sleep. When I remember that she wasn’t breathing when she came into this world, each sweet breath she takes is a miracle. I thank God for the privilege of loving her, and I pray I never take a single moment with her for granted. She and Lillyann have a lot left to teach me:)

Healing Words

The past week has been a horrendous one in regard to senseless deaths, and I’ve attended two funerals in two days. That’s far too many, especially when one is a young man who took his own life. The funeral today offered healing words that lifted my soul and gave me hope.

The healing power of truth told with love and forgiveness was the heart of the message this afternoon. There is nothing more powerful in all of creation. Loving in God’s kingdom involves honesty and forgiveness. We can begin doing it right now, and that is the miracle Satan hopes we forget.

Satan makes a lot of sense when he bids us to stand our ground or run and hide. He knows we love to hear that we are right and should retaliate. True forgiveness means giving up our right to be right and to retaliate. Satan will even arrange a fan club for us, but a stadium full of fans don’t bring the peace loving and forgiving as God will.

The only solace in a time of grief is extending grace and loving as Christ. God feels our grief was a beautiful part of His message today. He understands our grief as no one else can. He doesn’t want us to hide or deny it. He wants us to feel it and absorb it because it is part of who we are. Those who heal best after a tragic death are the ones who feel deeply and forgive completely.

I pray that as a nation we will feel deeply, forgive completely, and give up our right to retaliate. I don’t think we have to give up our right to bear arms, but I do think we have to think about putting assault rifles in the hands of everyone. We also must think about ways to protect our most fragile citizens. That includes our children as well as those who are mentally ill.

There are no easy answers when we cry out why, and that was part of the message today. We want to know why, but it is more important to have faith. God’s Word was very healing today, and I feel as if a burden has been lifted from my heart. Grief was dispersed in a beautiful way today as God’s healing words penetrated the hurt and lifted the spirit:)