Category: God

Aches & Breaks

Healthy HeartAches and breaks don’t happen or heal the same way. Unexpected trauma breaks bones and hearts. The pain is immediate and unbearable, and shock leaves us reeling and wondering what happened!

Aches are seldom a surprise because they occur when I push my muscles beyond their limits or put them in awkward positions. I know the ache will come, but that doesn’t stop me or make the pain more bearable. The pain of an ache is slow and prolonged. Rest is best for aches and breaks, but neither hearts nor muscles want to stop doing what they are designed to do.

Heartbreaks are worse than heartaches because hope is lost in the break. The yearning of an ache hurts very deeply, but it doesn’t destroy hope. That’s the beautiful difference between the way heartbreaks and heartaches heal. My heart has been broken twice, but I’ve only experienced heartache once. I wanted to numb the pain, but I knew that would only prolong the healing and keep me from dealing with the hurt. Muscles, bones, and hearts do eventually heal, but only with God’s help. Pain is part of the process and cannot be avoided. No one knows that better than God.

Hearts and muscles grow from being stretched and broken, and the pain that comes from heartbreak and heartache will make my heart stronger if I don’t let it keep me from loving again. I can sit out when it comes to love and never hurt again, or I can give my heart the time it needs to heal and step back into love knowing that heartaches and heartbreaks are part of loving.

God is love, and He knows best when it comes to matters of the heart. He knows the pain of heartbreak and heartache better than anyone. His heart is broken every day, and He experiences heartache each time one of His children is hurting. He knows, and I am learning, that there is only one cure for heartaches and heartbreaks. Love and time heal all wounds and leave my heart stronger than it was before. There is a great deal of truth in the saying “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

Escape or Rescue?

Getting Off the Coaster

I was caught up in the roller coaster rescue last week because I’ve always been afraid of getting stuck on one. God used the image of riders hanging for five hours in a sharp turn far above the ground to help me see my heart was in a very similar predicament.

I can’t scream loudly enough to stop a roller coaster if I want off. I can easily catch the attention of the person controlling the Merry-Go-Round and get off; but the noise and excitement of a roller coaster drown out any pleas for help, so I’m stuck until the ride stops.

Five hours seems like a long time to be suspended in the air on a hot summer day, but God reminded me that it’s much worse for my heart to be left hanging by a thread. My heart broke when I heard Robin Williams committed suicide last night.  I imagine he simply saw it as a way to escape. I’ve been tempted to escape myself rather than allowing God to rescue my heart.

Pain will always come with living and loving, and no one understands that better than God. My heart stopped in a very dangerous curve this weekend, and I found myself screaming for the ride to stop and for someone to get me off the roller coaster. God bid me to take His hand and trust Him to rescue my heart.

What’s great for a carnival ride isn’t necessarily great for a heart. The word carnival gets its meaning from the 1540’s when folks would make merry before Lent. It literally means “flesh, farewell.” Staying on the coaster is staying in the flesh and enjoying the thrill that comes from all those unnatural highs and lows that come with the flesh. Spirit offers a very different high which lasts longer and is much stronger than the flesh. God made it clear that the ride He has in mind for my heart is much better than anything I can imagine on my own, and His rescues are always better than my escape plans.

I know it will take some time for my heart to make the transition God desires, but I also know His transformation will be just what my heart needs. While my heart heals, I plan to keep the promise He makes in Psalm 30:5 very near my heart.

“weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” NIV

 

Offer Up the Ordinary

I’ve been studying Romans 12 this week, and I love the way Eugene Peterson translates verses one and two in The Message.

“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.”

I love the idea of offering my ordinary life to God. My “sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking around life” is virtually all of my life. When I think about how much of my life is ordinary, I’m humbled by these verses. I love gathering for worship or doing something special, but I realized today that my relationship with God or with anyone is rooted in loving them in ordinary ways.

The kids went off on an adventure, so I was home alone today. I was feeling left out and a little sad at first, but I thought about Romans 12 and decided to be grateful for an ordinary day and give it to God. It was a quiet day filled with peace. Some might call it boring, but I found it to be a beautiful blessing. I swam alone, walked alone, ate alone, and read alone. It was wonderful!

God taught an important lesson today as I realized there are far worse things than being alone. It was nice to have my attention fixed upon God. I was able to see and hear things I don’t notice when busyness surrounds me. The birds, frogs, crickets, and the doggies were great company today. I felt the stress and the mess melt away with each chirp and croak. It was so freeing to relax and let go. I gave God my attention, and He bid me to stop and enjoy what I miss when I’m getting and doing.

Being part of Christ’s body is about being who I’m meant to be. Trying to be something I’m not or comparing myself with others causes me to miss the simple beauty of simply being. God gave me something extraordinary today, and that’s what He will do everyday if I’ll fix my attention on Him and offer Him my ordinary.

Bathing Suits & Boots :)

bathing-suits-and-boots.jpgDuring a sudden downpour yesterday afternoon, I caught myself daydreaming about playing in the rain. Mama used to let us play in the puddles after a hard rain, and she also told us stories about washing her hair in rainwater. I had the sudden urge to go outside and wash my hair in the rain. I was contemplating getting up and heading outside when a commotion outside my door brought me back to reality.

I got up to see what was going on and met the girls coming down the stairs in their birthday suits. They wanted me to help them get into their bathing suits quickly because mommy said they could play outside in the rain. I asked if I could play with them. They squealed with delight and said, “SURE!!!”

I got them ready and told them I would get on my suit and meet them upstairs. As I was heading up, they were heading back down. They needed boots for puddle jumping. Of course they did! I should have thought of that myself. In fact, I should have thought of going outside in the first place and invited them to go out with me!

We jumped in puddles, ran through the little river running down the drive, and got soaked from our heads to our toes. I can’t remember ever feeling as free as I did while we were holding hands and jumping in puddles.  Lillyann made the biggest splashes because she strategically located herself right in front of the deepest water. She swam in the deep end of the pool without help for the first time earlier in the day, so it was truly a wonderful day in the water. Her confidence level was peaking yesterday, and her spirit was soaring. Playing in the rain was icing on the cake for all of us as Lillyann took a big girl step forward, and Gigi took a giant leap back in time. Mylah got caught up in all the excitement and loved every moment.

Rain usually makes me sad and reminds me of difficult times. Having someone who understands my heart is having someone with whom I can watch the rain. I realized yesterday that it’s also nice to play in the rain with those who hear and see the kid in me. The girls definitely do that, and they help me hear and see her too. I love that about them.

Taking myself too seriously is a most serious sin. It bogs down my heart and keeps me from being who God created me to be. It was very freeing to let silliness have its way with me for a while yesterday, I needed to play in the rain with someone, and God gave me the perfect playmates. I know He was enjoying our laughter even more than we were, and that’s what I love most about Him 🙂

Is There a Doctor in the Heart?

Heart Doctor
Like all muscles, hearts are strengthened when stretched, torn, broken, and healed. Growing is a difficult process for all muscles, but the heart is especially vulnerable. It is the strongest muscle in the body and has the capacity to feel emotional, as well as physical, pain. No muscle understands “no pain, no gain” better than the heart, and no one understands the heart better than God.

God designed the heart to pump blood through the body. An average person’s heart pumps 1900 gallons of blood every day, an amazing feat which goes unnoticed until it stops. Hearts are also designed to love. God’s message this week was that love’s flow should be as involuntary as those 1900 gallons of blood coursing through my arteries and veins.

The difference between voluntary and involuntary muscles is control. With voluntary muscles, I’m in charge. I decide when and how to use them. I can make those muscles do what I want them to do. Involuntary muscles work without any input from me. My heart pumps blood without my help, and my lungs breathe on their own if all is well. Love flows best when I don’t try to control it. My worry forces love to clot or bleed out, but trusting God allows it to flow unhindered and in ways I could never imagine on my own.

When a heart stops, we panic and cry for help. If a medical emergency is in a public place, we scream, “Is there a doctor in the house??” Smart phones may have changed the way we deal with emergencies, but we still scream out because we don’t know what to do until help arrives. When it comes to love, there is always a Doctor in my heart. God is on call 24/7, and He knows exactly what my heart needs.

God and I both know that heeding His advice when it comes to love would cut down on the number of times I call out for help. He promised He would never leave me, and He is faithful to keep His promises. I promised Him this week that I would stop trying to control what only He can control. I also promised to stop worrying and let Him take care of my heart. If I keep my promises the way He keeps His, I won’t have to scream anymore 🙂

The Rose of Sharon

The Rose of Sharon
The Rose of Sharon

“I am the rose of Sharon, The lily of the valleys.”Song of Solomon 2:1 NASB

I haven’t spent much time in The Song of Solomon, but God used a beautiful flower to draw my attention to chapter two today. Solomon’s open intimacy always makes me blush because I feel as if I’m reading someone else’s love letter or spying on two lovers.

After studying hard all morning, I went to the garden to relax for a moment. The warm sun and gentle breeze embraced me as I talked to God about things that were on my heart.

I’ve always been close to God, but His presence was more powerful than ever as I looked at the rose of Sharon bushes blowing in the breeze and listened to the water flowing in the fountain. He took my breath away!

It reminded me of a time decades ago when our love was brand new. God made it clear that He missed the intimacy we once shared. I wasn’t sure what to think about that, but I couldn’t turn away.

Christ is the rose of Sharon and loves me more than I can begin to imagine. The image of God wanting and waiting for me was embarrassing. How in the world could my Creator be enamored with me? He didn’t let up, so I simply sat in awe of His majesty and soaked in His love.

When I came home, I went to The Song of Solomon and read chapter two hoping to recreate the feeling I had in the garden. It was embarrassing. Again, how could God love me that way? I read it until I believed the beautiful song was meant for me.

Solomon knew God’s love, and his father David was a man after God’s own heart. Both men understood the intimacy God desires, and both describe that love in their songs. I went away from the garden with an exquisite sense of love that Solomon captures beautifully in his song. The level of intimacy he describes takes my heart out of its comfort zone because the level of love God desires does just that.

God wants me to understand the depth of His love, and Solomon’s image of a bride and groom admiring one another did that for me today. Christ loves like a groom longing for His bride. Like any groom, He hopes His bride will feel the same way about Him.

The beauty of my time in the garden with God today was being as vulnerable as I’ve ever been in my life. In that moment of openness, I knew I was loved and cherished as only a bride can be. I finally saw myself as the bride God bids me to be. There aren’t words to describe how that affected my heart. Suffice it to say that I’m not who I was, but I am who God created me to be. I’m thankful I was in that beautiful moment long enough to know that I can never settle for less again.

I took a bloom from that Rose of Sharon bush and decided to press it so I could keep it as a reminder of God’s lessons today. I opened the heavy Impressionist art book by my television and had to laugh out loud when I saw my baby picture smiling up at me. I put it in the book because, like my heart, it needed a little smoothing out.

I marvel at God’s ways and love the how He uses images to get His lessons across to me. The smiling baby me was a powerful image that reminded me God has always loved me and always will. I pray my love for Him will always be like the bride in The Song of Solomon. He deserves the very best when it comes to love, and so do I 🙂

Baby Gigi

Love + Grace = Peace

Love is the first step in finding peace. As incomprehensible as God’s love is, it is the beginning of everything and must be the place from which my heart starts its journey toward peace. Grace enters into the journey in the life of Christ. God became one of us and extended grace to a world in need of connection.

Grace became the glue that connected God’s love and the Holy Spirit’s peace in our hearts. Christ made that connection possible when He died and rose from the grave in the most amazing plan ever. Grace is more than amazing; it is more than any word we have in our vocabularies. It is what brings love and peace together. Just as the Trinity are three and one, so are love, grace and peace beautifully connected. They do not exist apart from one another, but they are three separate entities.

I don’t pretend to understand the Trinity, but I feel Its effect upon my life. I can’t define love, grace, or peace; but I know what they do to my heart. I cannot imagine life without the love of God, the grace of Christ, or the peace of the Holy Spirit. I know when my heart is out of balance it is because I allow other than love, grace, and peace to be present in it. Love, grace, and peace will step aside when hate, lust, or discord enter in. They will not share or force their way into my heart’s space.

The beauty of love, grace, and peace is that they create a beautiful harmony that cannot be found anywhere except in a heart tuned to them. Hearts can find love and peace for brief periods, but without the grace Christ offers, it is only a temporary possession that dissipates quickly and must be sought over and over again. Christ’s grace provides a sweet Comforter in the Holy Spirit who coexists with me. There is a world of difference between possessing and coexisting, and as big a difference between the peace I can find on my own and the peace Christ’s grace brings. The peace of the Holy Spirit is like having a beautiful friend who hears my heart and never leaves my side. Peace that possesses is a temporary high that feels good for a moment and then goes away.

My peace is disrupted when I allow my desires to override God’s will. God is all powerful, but He will not force His love, His Son’s grace, or His Spirit’s peace upon anyone. He knows I must experience discord occasionally to appreciate the difference His peace offers. Last week, I got carried away with my selfish wants and found myself floundering and flustered. I know prayer is the path to peace, so I did a lot of praying. What happened is what always happens when I get tired of spinning out of control and ask God to help. He extended love and grace, and I surrendered to His peace.

There is no verse more comforting to me than the sweet simple words of Philippians 4:7

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (NASB)

I suppose I will veer off the path of peace as long as I live, but it comforts my heart greatly to know that peace is only a prayer away. Now, if I can only get better at praying a little faster each time 🙂

Redefining Fire

Flower in the AshesThere’s wreckage on the ground

With ashes all around.

Rains extinguish the flame.

Now, nothing is the same.

God’s love draws me nearer.

The path becomes clearer.

Reaching out with His hand,

He bids me to stand.

The redefining fire

Lifts me from the mire,

My heart finally free

To see the real me.

 

 

The Journey’s Ups & Downs

The Top of the World!
The Top of the World!

While having lunch with friends this week, the waitress spilled a large glass of ice water on the floor beside me. It made a loud noise, so she was the center of attention for an awkward moment. I told her it was okay, and she smiled; but I know she wanted to crawl into a corner. That’s what awkward moments do to all of us. I am painfully familiar with awkward moments and have had far more than my share, so I learned at an early age to make the best of them. I quickly made fun of myself before anyone else had the chance or let Pollyanna make lemonade from the lemons life threw at me. 

The water from that overturned glass immediately disappeared into the carpet, and the ice quickly melted away. No harm was done, and life went back to normal. As I looked at the wet carpet, I couldn’t help but wish the same were true in matters of the heart. Once it’s broken or poured out, life can never be the same. That’s a good thing, but it’s a painful mess for a while. Each bump, break, spill, or near miss strengthens my heart and brings me nearer to God. He knows brokenness and emptiness enable my heart to climb or come down from the summits on this journey. It’s human nature to want to quit when my heart is hurting, but I’m learning that giving up doesn’t have to follow giving out. Christ will help when the burden is more than I can bear. 

Pride tells me to quit, but love bids me to reach out for help. It’s good to do what I can on my own, but it’s better to let love lead me to a place of accepting help when I need it. If I don’t, I’ll give up each time I give out. No one would attempt Mount Everest without an experienced sherpa, but many walk through life afraid to ask for help. Walking in God’s kingdom is more challenging and takes far longer than a trip up the mountain, so He gives a beautiful Guide to help us along the way.

Reaching the summit isn’t for the faint of heart because as soon as the view takes my breath away, I’m left with the prospect of going back down. That’s a more daunting and more dangerous journey than the climb upward. God reminded me in His lessons this week that ups and downs are part of the journey, and I must get used to them if I want to live and love as He desires. The beauty of being at the bottom is knowing there is no where to go but up. My favorite Psalm of Ascent is 121. I cannot look to the mountain when I am standing on top of it. I am invincible on the summit, and I forget I need help. That is the most dangerous place for my heart to be. Whether I come down carefully or in one fell swoop like the water in that glass, I am in the perfect position for remembering from whence comes my help.

“I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
From where shall my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun will not smite you by day,
Nor the moon by night.
The Lord will protect you from all evil;
He will keep your soul.
The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forever.”

God guards my going out and coming in and my going up and coming down. The journey will always have its ups and downs, but I take sweet comfort in knowing that Christ left a great Guide to help in both.

The beauty of the summit.

Looking at the summit. (Beijing 2008 Olympic Games)

You Do the Math

You Do the MathI prefer solving equations to balancing books; God used both in His lessons this week. I love math, but the expression “You do the math” is more about figuring out the obvious than actually doing any math. I may be a whiz when it comes to equations, but I’m horrible at “doing the math.” Constants, coefficients, variables, and operators make sense to me, but they don’t apply to my heart. There is no logic in love, but there are constants that apply.

Romans 13:8-10 says “You do the math” very effectively.

“Don’t run up debts, except for the huge debt of love you owe each other. When you love others, you complete what the law has been after all along. The law code—don’t sleep with another person’s spouse, don’t take someone’s life, don’t take what isn’t yours, don’t always be wanting what you don’t have, and any other “don’t” you can think of—finally adds up to this: Love other people as well as you do yourself. You can’t go wrong when you love others. When you add up everything in the law code, the sum total is love.” (The Message)

The sum total of God’s Word is love, and Christ gave us all the answer to God’s equation before asking us to do the math. In Algebra, the answer is given before I start, so I’ll know where I’m going. The same is true with God because the process of working out problems is the whole point of our journey. I struggle with the obvious and understand the difficult, so doing the math isn’t easy for me. God knows that better than anyone and used it well this week.

I can’t make an answer be what I want it to be in math or in life. No matter how many times I try to convince myself or God that I am right, He patiently waits for me to see and correct my mistakes. Sometimes, I smile and see how silly my mistakes are and quickly fix them; more often, I cry in frustration, wad my heart up, and toss it back at Him. He picks it up, smooths it out, and gently waits until I’m ready to begin again.

There is but one answer when it comes to any heart problem, and that is love. Love is amazing, and I can’t go wrong when I love others. Love doesn’t mean I can break the rules and laws God gives when it comes to loving. I can’t make up my own rules or skip the ones I don’t like. I have to follow His principles and laws if I want to come up with the right answer.

I thought I had things all figured out this week, and I was feeling pretty smug. God showed me that I have learned a lot about love. He is very pleased about that, but He is concerned about my continued trouble with the obvious. Love is the point of this journey, and doing the math will be required all along the way. I’m very grateful God provides all the help I need to find the right answers. The Holy Spirit is a terrific Tutor, and Christ is the Master when it comes to teaching. I know with Their help, I’ll be able to solve any problems that come my way and “do the math” with ease. It is nice to know that being in debt is a good thing when it comes to love.