Category: Life

Christ’s Simple Rules

Cleaning up is much easier than clearing out. So often, I simply clean and rearrange. Clearing out makes room in my closet, pantry, heart, and head. Rearranging doesn’t work because the space remains full. When I truly clear away, there is room for growth. When there is room for growth, there is opportunity for change. Whether it’s outdated clothing, food I don’t eat, or rules that limit, it’s all about making room. Christ does some powerful cleaning up and clearing out when it comes to rules.

God requires space in my heart, but He will not take it. He insists that I do the clearing before He does the filling. The only time self plays an important role in doing God’s work and answering His call is when it comes to discipline. I have to have self discipline if I am to reach the self-differentiation necessary to connect as God desires. Discipline is the rub!

Discipline is difficult to define; there many directions those definitions can go. A few from Bing:

“the ability to behave in a controlled and calm way even in a difficult or stressful situation”

“the practice or methods of teaching and enforcing acceptable patterns of behavior

“punishment designed to teach somebody obedience”

“the system of rules used in a religious denomination or order”

All of the above are perfectly good definitions of discipline, but only one puts the responsibility in my hands. Practice, punishment, and system refer to discipline being taught or followed. I like “the ability to behave in a controlled and calm way even in a difficult or stressful situation” in that ability indicates competence, intelligence, natural tendency, or gift. Those are personal and something I have or can attain.

Self discipline is more about common sense than anything else. Knowing the rules in a school, church, business, or country are important. It is also important to know whether or not you agree with those rules before you follow them. That is especially true when it comes to a religious denomination or order. Many people belong to churches without even knowing the beliefs important to the group. While there is no church or other organization with perfect rules, there is a body with them. Christ’s rules were simple, and He showed a group of Pharisees who thought they had the rules down pat a set of rules that caused them to be quiet.

Christ’s rules involve loving God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength and loving others as myself. That isn’t complicated until I get to the love my enemies part or love when I am not loved back part or the be willing to give up my selfishness part. Christ’s simple rules have nothing to do with which translation of His Word I use. If I’m in doubt,  I should go to the original Hebrew or Greek:) They do not say who can and cannot be a member or a minister. They do not say what percentage goes where; one hundred percent of all I have and all I am is God’s. His rules put the responsibility on me and my heart where it belongs.

I tire of rules and regulations especially when they separate and create arguments. I really hate it when they give folks the right to pass judgment on those who follow a different set of rules. So, in the interest of cleaning up and clearing out, I’m clearing out all but Christ’s simple rules. Too many rules will make me like the Pharisees who used rules to punish, judge, and divide. God forgive us when we do the same.

Have Mercy

Mercy is at the heart of forgiveness and grace. The dictionary definition reads “kindness or forgiveness shown especially to somebody a person has power over.” The Jesus Prayer asks for mercy. “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, the sinner.” The phrase “Have mercy!” is one used in a number of ways, some having nothing to do with Jesus or mercy. Mercy is something I say lightly even when praying until I stop long enough to take in what it means in regard to my relationship with God and others. Having mercy shows others the difference Christ makes in my life and is essential if I am to be the witness He desires for me to be.

God has power over me and over all in existence, yet He choses to be merciful. When I pray the Jesus prayer, I am humbled in a way that makes me want to be merciful. I have to think about those I have power over when I think of mercy. I’m not in a position that gives me power, but like everyone, there are those in my path who afford me the opportunity to show mercy. When I’m with my grand daughters, I can be merciful and show grace. When someone is waiting on me in a restaurant or a shop, I can be merciful. When I’m teaching, I can show mercy. I can also show mercy to someone who has mistreated me or been unkind to me. I have the right to retaliate, but if I chose to forgive and be kind, I take the opportunity to show mercy.

Showing mercy brings me closer to God who is the source of all mercy. When I pray the Jesus prayer, “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, the sinner,” I add the phrase “and please help me to be merciful to those in my path.” Knowing what mercy is and praying for mercy is only the beginning. I have to have mercy, or the prayer is empty and the word useless. The same goes for grace and forgiveness. As I extend grace, mercy, and forgiveness, I draw nearer to God and to those in my path. I am to learn only one thing during this brief little blink of life in the midst of my eternal journey, and that is love. I am here to learn to say to God, to myself, and to those in my path, “I love you” and show I know what that phrase means in the way I live out my life here on earth.

Love, peace, grace, forgiveness, and mercy are words easily spoken. Unfortunately, living out the concepts they represent is much more difficult than uttering the words. I pray I will live out love, peace, grace, forgiveness, and mercy in my life as Christ taught. I am human and know I will fall short of the lofty goal, but I will come a lot closer if I make it my aim to show them to others instead of simply sitting back and asking God to show them to me.

Redefining Relationships

In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, time is quickly consumed. Time with God becomes a quick plea here and a quicker thank you there. I’m beginning to understand the concept of praying without ceasing, and it isn’t at all what I expected. Being in God’s presence is the goal of prayer; being present with those I love is the goal of relationship. Words become less important as that presence increases. Being present is something with which I’ve struggled my entire life. I’m only beginning to experience the peace that prolonged presence makes when it comes to my relationship with God. I’m also learning that redefining relationships is necessary as I change and grow as God desires.

I’ve always thought of prayer as a time of getting on my knees and asking God for help and thanking Him for all He does for me. When I look at that from a relationship standpoint, I’m appalled. It shows a selfish, one-sided relationship that isn’t at all what God desires. Nothing shows love more than spending time together in honest communion or sweet silence where nothing needs to be said. God desires just that in our time together. Like me with God, there have been those in my path who take and never give. I’ve wasted a lifetime of love trying to make miserable people happy. It isn’t noble at all but selfish on my part as I become a martyr and get everyone’s pity. That’s a hard truth to see and absorb, but it’s one that God has brought home to me of late as I look at and see the need to let Him redefine my relationships.

Real relationships require self-differentiation, and that means I have to become who God created me to be before I can truly connect to others. In order to do that, I must let Him cut away all that isn’t who He created me to be. As a sculptor cuts away marble to bring out the beautiful image inside, so does God cut away at me until the beloved daughter He sees inside comes to the surface. That process is a painful one because unlike marble, I wiggle and resist the sculpting! The stillness of Psalm 46:10 is required for God to do His work, and I’ve found that God will bring stillness when I ask. I am learning to pray differently, and the results are powerful. I’m finding that honestly and fervently praying that His will, not mine be done is causing true change in my heart, soul, spirit, and body. I am beginning to see the results of His chisel, and it is amazing.

The need to please is gone. The need to fix is gone. The need to pretend all is well is gone. In the process, I find that guilt is no longer a source of motivation. I no longer feel the need to be who others expect me to be. I am the beloved daughter of God  and love Him as never before. Love is the root of my obedience now, and I can live out that obedience in a way that will bring joy to me, others, and Him. I feel as if I’ve gotten off a treadmill and gotten on to a beautiful path. The journey isn’t a guilt-ridden run to nowhere; it is a walk in His kingdom that forms beautiful relationships based on honesty and love. My relationship with God is first, and it must be the model for all my relationships if the redefining He desires is to take place.

Redefining relationships is not an easy task. Some will go as they are clearly not what God desires and are toxic to me and to others. Some will dissipate because they will not survive the changes in me. Others will flourish and grow as God desires. Those are the ones I plan to nourish. There will be wonderful new relationships along the way, and I look forward to each of them. Redefining relationships requires that I look to God first and let Him redefine me. The rest will fall into place as I love and obey Him:)

Balance in a Spinning Room

Being sick has given me a new appreciation of being well. I’m spoiled when it comes to sickness as I am rarely ill. I was reminded vividly in the wee hours of the morning that it is very frightening to be alone and sick, especially when it involves the loss of balance. As the room and all in it spun around me, it was very like a bad dream. I have only had vertigo once before in my life, and I thought I was having a stroke. The same thought occurred to me this morning as I struggled to stay centered.

The center is essential to both my physical and spiritual balance. God used the vivid example to remind me how very delicate balance is. When potassium levels are low, it seems the world is coming apart. One banana eaten in tiny bites was enough to bring back my equilibrium this afternoon. If it were only so simple with my soul, spirit, and heart. Just as my heart had major adjustments this week, so have my soul and spirit. My body is getting better, and the chicken broth for supper gave me hope for a better day tomorrow. God gives me hope when I remember that obedience, like those slices of banana, bring balance to my soul and help me to forget about understanding the why by simply focusing upon the what.

A few weeks ago, Gina told Lillyann to be nice to Mylah. Lillyann immediately asked why. Gina told her, “Because I said to.” Lillyann replied with conviction, “I said what I meant and meant what I said!” Poor God deals with a billion three-year-olds every day, and I’m one of them:) Obedience has been the message this week. Many who know me would say I am very obedient, but like Lillyann, I constantly want to know why I can’t have this or why things can’t be the way I want them to be. I also hold on when I should let go. God is helping me let go and listen to Him. He is faithful to hear me, and I pray I will become more faithful to listen to and follow Him.

Balance is tricky whether it is in the head, the heart, the body, the soul, or the spirit. Finding it without God is impossible. Finding and focusing upon God brings balance back in a beautiful way. With Him, I can find focus in a spinning room and obey in a spinning world:)

With Me Always

When I began this journey,

You were there.

In the midst of my darkness,

You were there.

In the silence of my heart,

You are here.

In the peace that comforts me

You are here.

 

Rest in Peace

God’s healing brought a new rest to my heart, unfamiliar in that restlessness is absent. He left my heart as sore as it has ever been, but it isn’t broken or aching any more. The soreness, like the rest is a new sensation that causes me to pause as I notice the absence of aching. I’m not sure how long this soreness will last, but I pray the rest will never leave. There is nothing better for the body, soul, mind, and spirit than rest. I believe it is the stillness in Psalm 46:10. I’ve tried to find that sweet stillness but have been frustrated by its fleeting nature as I have caught a moment but been unable to hold it.

This rest is more than a moment; it is a state of being unlike anything I’ve experienced before. I struggled last week as God worked out the hurt buried deep in my heart. The exhaustion of the week along with facing the choices I have made in regard to my heart one at a time, but all in one week took the last bit of stubbornness and the need to retaliate right out of me. I was as depleted as ever on Thursday evening after aerobics, and I was ready to find a secluded spot and hide away. The beauty of God’s timing is that He placed that facing in a week filled with reminders of one beautiful choice I have made when it comes to love.

My son Tyler is an amazing man, and I love him more than life itself. When he puts his arms around me and tells me he loves me, my heart is never better. God knew I would need his sweet presence as I went through the ‘surgery’ He had planned for my heart. He also knew that having those sweet girls would help put my mind and heart right where they belong. Lillyann spent the night with me last night, and I love falling asleep with her next to me. She and Mylah know just how to soothe my heart, and God has made sure they were near me all week. Gina was a beautiful bride in my path this week, and she reminded me of what God wants for me when it comes to love. I haven’t ever seen myself as a bride. God does, and I plan to see myself in His light from now on.

It’s never easy to face my mistakes, but it is especially difficult to be confronted with so many in such a short time. I suppose it’s like the surgeon saying, “while I’m in there, I plan to…..” Well, the Master Surgeon took His two-edged scalpel, and while He was already in my heart, decided to go ahead and take care of all that needed cutting away. The soreness is similar to the feeling I get when I haven’t walked or exercised in while, and I call it good soreness. I welcome it as it reminds me to be mindful and remember that it is easy to fall back into those destructive patterns if I listen to the wrong voices.

The rest since Thursday has been just what my heart needed. My mind and body haven’t minded it either:) True rest is what God promises in Isaiah 26:3, and it is what my heart desires. I love that scripture, “The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You.” That’s the peace and rest that allows me to be still and know that He is not only God, but He knows what He’s doing. Handing over my heart was not easy because it meant giving up my desires and embracing His. When I felt the rest that followed, I knew I had no desire to go back to the old restless aching. Just as walking in His kingdom doesn’t have to wait until I die, neither does resting in peace. I can do both now, and that’s a lesson I loved learning:)

Unrequited Love

God has more in mind for me when it comes to love, and He made that clear with a powerful image and lesson my heart so needed this morning. His love is the perfect example of love, and He knows the desires of my heart because they are the same as His.

I can’t control circumstances or people, and I wouldn’t if I could. My choices in regard to love have been ones that reflect the way I see myself. It is hard to break old patterns and stop listening to those voices from my past that say I am not worthy. My sisters advise me to stop listening to them, but they are familiar and even comforting at times.

Unrequited love is something God knows all about. Christ went to the cross with a love so beautiful that it needed no response. He knows response is up to the one loved. I am learning the same. Circumstances close doors, but they do not change hearts. I’ve been trying to change my heart in the face of those closed doors and asked God this morning to do what I cannot. He did just that as He helped me understand the cause of my heart problems.

I had a very unstable environment in childhood when it came to love. The unhealthy attachments between me and my parents in early life are at the root of my heart’s dysfunction. God showed me that my ex-husband wasn’t the only one with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  I see that my intense need to be accepted and loved comes from the start my heart had in this world, and that knowledge is humbling and healing.

When I hurt but cannot find the pain’s source, I can think of nothing else. I lived with a terrible pain in my heart for sixty years; with God’s help this morning, I finally found the thorn in the core of my heart that was causing that pain. Letting God work that thorn to the surface was excruciating, but it was worth the suffering to stop the dull aching throb that came with every beat.

Many say unrequited love is necessary for creative works of art, music, and literature; Mary Ward calls it “the poetry of frustration.” There is truth in that thinking that I understand first hand, and God’s Word is filled with beautiful examples of such literary creations. His Son’s willingness to love completely and sacrifice all for those who would never even notice is the ultimate when it comes to expressing love without worrying about response. Sacrificial love is the highest on the love chain, and unrequited love will always inspire. Now that the thorn has surfaced, I can stop worrying about the source of that throbbing pain and find the life and love God has in store and express my heart’s desires in a new and beautiful way. I know there will be pain when it comes to love because by its very nature, love brings the greatest suffering as well as the greatest joy to life.

Seeing and understanding the truth allows me to love and live differently. Change is always difficult even when it means the absence of familiar pain. My heart is sore and may always be from the truth God applied today. I had breakfast with a fellow yesterday morning who showed us a place on his finger where a piece of metal had worked its way to the surface after an accident in Vietnam twenty years earlier. We all marveled at the miracle. I know the thorn in my heart would never have made its way to the surface without God’s intervening hand, and I know God knew that little piece of metal would be ready to the surface at the same time I would ask Him to work the thorn in my heart to the surface. He knows I’m a visual learner, and I love having an object I can see and touch to help me understand. I am amazed at how He works and teaches until He reminds me that He is God and does know a thing or two about love and me:)

Stumbling is Humbling

One of my favorite verses is Romans 8:28 “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” That is the underlying theme this week as God has taken the circumstances in my path and used them to teach lessons as only He can.

Last night as I listened to Robbie Campbell describe the living conditions in the Dominican Republic, I was humbled and ashamed at the excess in my own life. There is more than enough for all in this world, but the hoarding that takes place keeps food from the hungry and fresh water from those who thirst. I always pray that God will let me hear Him as I go into a service or study His Word. The most important thing I heard last night was something I used to preach to my classes, there is something only I can do, and if I choose not to do it, it will be left undone. God calls each of us to do a work for Him that only we are able to do. That humbles and sobers as nothing else. There are those who will be hungry if I do not notice, those who will die from thirst if I do nothing, those who will not know of Christ’s precious grace, if I do not live it out in my own life, those who will die never reaching an intimate level of relationship with others or God if I do not reach out, and those who will give up without the encouragement I am here to offer.

God has prepared the path, but I must stay the course. I thank Him for dear friends who help me stay on track and keep me accountable. The messages this week have all been about the importance of forming relationships that go deeply into my heart and allow the honest communication necessary for that accountability. Love draws me nearer to God and helps me be a loving presence to those already in my path and those who will come into it. I’ve ignored the obvious when it comes to missions and missed opportunities to make a difference in my family and community by getting off the course God has prepared.  I have stayed on the surface when it comes to relationships out of fear of being hurt again. I thank God for helping me see His will and hear His call;  I pray I will find and stay at the depth He desires in regard to my heart. With His help and the help of those trusted friends sharing my journey, I know I can be the loving presence He needs as I learn and grow even in my stumbling. Perhaps I should say especially in my stumbling! Stumbling is humbling:)

Water is a Luxury

I hope you’ll take a moment to look at this website  wateratworkministry.org and see how one group is helping make fresh water available with filtration systems set up in community centers and churches in the Dominican Republic. Robbie is a friend, and I admire her passion for helping those who don’t have the luxury of clean water to drink. She asked that we think of and pray for those without clean drinking water each time we turn on one of our many faucets. I plan to be more mindful of those who do not have clean water or sufficient food. God forgive us for forgetting them.

The Nearest Exit!

I always find the nearest exit when I’m in a hotel or a theater. I’m not sure why it’s so important in those places in particular, but I relax when my escape route is clear. I was reminded of that habit as I looked for the nearest exit for my heart for the second time this week. God opens and closes doors when it comes to my heart, but He also allows me to do the same. It’s a beautiful example of the freedom He gives as I walk in His kingdom. He showed me this morning that forgiveness is His escape route of choice. It is very near, but pride and fear keep me from opening it and allowing His healing to come in.

Lillyann is three and fascinated by shutting her door and locking it so Mylah cannot come into her room. I’m the same way at times when it comes to forgiveness and find myself in the same position as Lillyann did yesterday. She decided to go into mommy and daddy’s room and lock the door. I told her she could stay in there while Mylah and I played if she wanted to. In her hurry to get out, she found she couldn’t get the door open. There was a very brief moment of fear as she worked on the knob. I let her try to open it because I knew she needed to know how. It only took one more try before she got it open. She was both relieved to get out and happy that she opened it herself. I thought of her this morning as God reminded me to be careful about closing and locking doors. I can’t move on if I shut myself in or allow fear from keep me in or out of a place.

It’s necessary to move forward, and that may mean wiping the dust off my feet and not returning, but I’ve had enough locked doors and enough dust to last a lifetime. Like Lillyann, I sometimes want to shut a door and lock it, but like her, I quickly miss what’s going on without me:) God placed those in my path this week who have hurt me deeply and broken my heart. Coming face to face with them is the only way to deal effectively with the hurt, and God knows I need to do that. He also knows I need to unlock the door myself. The truth puts pretense in its place and allows the heart to let go of the need to retaliate. It’s what forgiveness is all about, and God reminded me this morning that forgiving as Christ is the nearest exit when it comes to my heart. It enables me to truly let go and be who God wants me to be.

Taking the exit God desires is never easy, but it brings me nearer to Him-right where I want to be. I got caught up in frustrations and fears yesterday, and I didn’t like what I saw or felt. When that happens, I know I’m off center and need to take the nearest exit and get right back where I belong. It doesn’t take much of a whirlwind to throw my heart off balance, but God offers an entrance to His presence if I’ll take the nearest exit find my way back to Him. He also knows it’s best for me to learn how to unlock that door myself:)