The scales say I’m down two pounds, but my heart and head say I’ve lost even more. I haven’t fasted in a very long time, so I forgot the clarity that clearing food from the table brings. I didn’t fast yesterday, but I did eat considerably less than I normally do. A beautiful side effect was that what I did eat was delicious. I imagine my taste buds had become numb with all the food I was eating because I never allowed myself to be truly hungry. I mentioned that yesterday, and I see it as the heart of the lessons God has for me this week.
Clarity comes from clearing away, and it was just what my heart and body needed. I am surprised by the satisfaction and the clarity that allows my heart and mind to be more focused upon God. My prayers are different, and I find they are even more powerful than when I fast. When fasting, I think of food and the fact that I am very hungry. That makes my prayers more fervent and gives a sense of sacrifice, but I like the feeling of having time and focus much better. That gives greater intimacy which is what God and I both desire.
So often, with God and in conversations with others, there is a rushed feeling that keeps intimacy at bay. Clarity is lost because my heart and mind are divided. I love having time to stop and enjoy both the food and the conversations God places in my path. Both make me feel lighter in spirit. Clearing the path makes traveling so much easier, and I would say that’s what the Garcinia Cambogia did for me yesterday. I can also feel a difference in the way my clothes are fitting, so I’d say the results are great. A day can make a big difference, and I look forward to seeing what’s yet to come.
Letting go requires that I first take stock. Until I know what’s in me, I can’t begin to get rid of what no longer belongs. The junk I discard distracts and keeps me from being who God desires for me to be. I heard someone say on Oprah years ago that the best thing you can let go of is the belief that things could have been different. At first, I thought that was ludicrous, but the more I thought about it, the more I had to agree. Letting go of that notion clears a vast amount of room in my heart. Empty space is just what God needs, but it makes me feel exposed and uncomfortable. It’s not easy to clear and clean when it comes to my heart or my closets!
I sometimes watch “What Not to Wear” and see the pain that comes when closets are emptied and clothing is thrown in the trash. On the outside looking in, it seems a no-brainer to throw out the old and let the experts give you the money and the advice you need to have a completely new wardrobe and a new look. Even when I know the results will be better, letting go of what I find comfortable is never easy. On the show, trusting the hosts is the key. I have wondered if anyone ever says no. Again, fear causes me to miss so much, so I’m not sure I would be any more ready for the makeover than those on the show. The better question to ask myself is how many times do I refuse God’s offer to give me a new life. He offers life in His kingdom now, and He is God. Surely I can trust Him with my transformation.
I cleaned out closets and drawers yesterday, and I would love to have had Clinton and Stacy’s honest feedback as I decided what stayed and what went. Having someone help me see myself in a new light requires brutal honesty, but it helps me make changes that make a difference. The willingness to let go after taking stock is what causes the real change on the show and with me. The change I see in the eyes of those who have been transformed brings tears each time I watch the show. The faces of those who loved and intervened is icing on the cake as they see the beautiful transformation. The most joyful part of this journey is seeing loved ones see themselves as I see them. It’s the same for God when I finally see in myself in His light. Before that can happen with God, I have to face that frightening 360 degree mirror. My heart doesn’t fare any better than my body when I stand before it, but I come away ready to change. Knowing I have God’s help and loving friends who truly care makes the looking, taking stock, and letting go possible.
I took lots of things to charity yesterday and got closets and drawers cleared of all that was simply taking up space and getting in my way. I had things in my heart that needed clearing out as well, and that was much more difficult to identify and discard. God helped with all the cleaning and clearing I did yesterday. It really all boils down to realizing who I am and who I am not. All that I got rid of yesterday didn’t fit or wasn’t me. That was true for the closets and my heart:)