Love grows in open spaces and must have room to flow freely if it is to be what God designed it to be. Confinement, clutter, and clogs keep love from its natural course. A quiet spring is the image God always gives me when He is teaching me about love. He knows I am a visual learner and provides powerful examples that help me see His point. The stillness of a spring is due to the constant movement beneath the surface. The cleansing is continuous and provides pure, sweet water to those who come to drink.
Hearts, like springs, must provide a space for love to flow gently. My heart has been a waterfall and a babbling brook making lots of noise but never holding love as a spring holds water. The secret of a spring is that it doesn’t hold on. It is a beautiful irony that I am only beginning to understand. I’ve been blessed to have a very healthy body, and I’ve recently been reminded that isn’t a given. My serious illnesses has been within my heart, and God has taken my journey inward so He can provide the healing I need to live and love as He desires.
The heart’s journey sets the pace and the tone for life. Rather than dealing with my heart, I ignored the problems and focused upon that which I did well. That is, after all, what we are taught to do. Accentuate the positive:) So Pollyanna joined forces with the self-deprecating comedian in me, and my life became positively hilarious. I would put a smile there, but I know how very sad that combination is. Making others happy and causing them to laugh hid my hurting heart and helped me survive.
When Christ healed, He always asked the person if they wanted healing. I never noticed that until a few months ago when I was studying. In the process of healing my heart, He put the same question before me yesterday. It seems a silly question, but I learned that it is the most important question any of us will ever answer. I’ve been in unhealthy relationships all my life and have experienced the comfort of the known hurt. Yes, this is a bad situation, and I’m hurting; but I know what it is. I don’t know how to be in a healthy relationship. All were clear signs I didn’t wish to be healed, and that stopped me in my tracks yesterday. I do trust God; it’s me I didn’t trust. I was afraid to let go.
In order for my heart to heal, I have to be willing to step into the unknown. Christ understands the difficulty of letting go of the known. Children don’t report abuse because they don’t know what will happen when they do. Adults do the same. It boils down to the lesson I learned yesterday. I have to know that I am loved, I am lovable, and I matter before I can be healed. Letting go of hurt seems like a no brainer, but it is impossible when I don’t believe those three statements. They give me the courage to want to be healed.
Knowing I’m truly loved and lovable opens the way for love to move through my heart as water flows through that beautiful spring. Knowing I matter gives me the courage to tell Christ that I do wish to be healed and mean it. That allows God to do what He does best:)