I was brought up believing that carrying my cross was accepting the ailments and heartbreaks in life and drudging forward. I shake my head and sigh when I think of the time between my old and new testaments. Jesus carried His cross, and I must carry mine. He loved and trusted God with all His heart, mind, soul, and strength. Crosses are about obedience and trust, and no one understands that better than Jesus.
A large crowd was following Jesus. He turned around and said to them, “If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple. And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you cannot be my disciple.
“But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to see if there is enough money to finish it? Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. They would say, ‘There’s the person who started that building and couldn’t afford to finish it!’
“Or what king would go to war against another king without first sitting down with his counselors to discuss whether his army of 10,000 could defeat the 20,000 soldiers marching against him? And if he can’t, he will send a delegation to discuss terms of peace while the enemy is still far away. So you cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own.
“Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses its flavor, how do you make it salty again? Flavorless salt is good neither for the soil nor for the manure pile. It is thrown away. Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand!” (Luke 14:25-35 NLT)
Christ didn’t have to take up His cross and carry it. He chose to. He didn’t have to die. He chose to. Obedience is up to me; it’s my cross. I used to think I had to save others. Again, I’m shaking my head in disbelief. Trying to carry Christ’s cross instead of my own left me depleted and discouraged. Carrying the wrong cross is a common problem among Christ’s followers, and it leads to frustration and violence.
An older gentleman told me last week that Christians were going to have to start fighting. I reminded him that the Crusades didn’t go well. He insisted that we had to do something about muslims in our country. He is a good man at heart, so I was surprised by his words. I was disappointed that he thought I would appreciate his ideas of violence toward muslims. When we try to take up Christ’s cross, frustration leads to anger and violence.
I don’t want to be a flavorless follower, and I don’t want to join an angry mob. Jesus was not on either end of that spectrum. His love was at the center of His cross, and His love must be at the center of mine. It is up to me to obey God, but I cannot do that on my own. Christ’s precious love keeps my heart and my walk centered and focused upon God’s love. I didn’t hear that love in the conversation last week, but I hear it in His words.
The cost of carrying my cross is giving up my need to carry Christ’s cross and obeying when I’m not sure where He is leading me. Discipleship is never easy, but it isn’t as hard as carrying Christ’s cross for Him. He already carried His cross, so I only need to worry about carrying mine, and He will help me with that.