Anchored in my past.
Analyzing my present.
Agonizing over my future.
Accepting my past.
At peace in my present.
Anticipating my future.
English was the bane of my existence when I was in school. The logic of math made perfect sense to me, but the inconsistencies in English irritated me to no end. I wanted to be a teacher from a very early age and enjoyed playing school in what we called the “Little House” behind our home, but I never had the desire to teach math. I had no patience with those who didn’t get it. I got it and couldn’t understand why others didn’t. I also couldn’t explain how I knew what I knew. I ended up teaching Language Arts in middle school for 33 years and loved every minute. I could relate to the struggles my students had with English, and I knew how to help them get it.
My troubles with English stemmed more from an irritation with its irregularities than an inability to understand. It took longer to do my English homework than all the other subjects put together, and I resented the free time it sucked from my life; but for some unknown reason, I loved diagramming sentences on the board and conjugating verbs out loud. I think that may have had something to do with saying he/she/it quickly enough to annoy my teachers.
God used conjugation to get across an important lesson in love last week. I know the importance of staying in the present moment and not regretting the past or fretting over the future, but I learned last week that the way I live in the present is a reflection of my feelings toward the past and the future. It is also a powerful reflection of my faith.
God used two beautiful messengers to help me see that His presence is what brings peace into my present and that what I do with the resurrected Jesus during, before, and after the highs and lows of my life showcase who I believe He is. Amazing lessons that helped me make sense of my heart’s tenses.
Some experts argue there are only two tenses in the English language, past and present. Most go with twelve, and some even push the number to sixteen. The Chinese language has no tenses, and the Greek language has a whole different approach to tense. God made it clear that tenses can be tricky when it comes to the heart. Tenses have the tendency to get tangled in the heart because love crosses all tenses, has no borders, and knows no endings. Love is, was, and always will be. What I do with those tenses is completely up to me.
I looked at the conjugation of love and realized I still have a lot to learn about that wonderful verb. God added a new tense that changed everything when He loved me enough to give His only Son so I could know how much He loves me. Knowing I am loved makes all the difference in the world. I haven’t always felt loved and didn’t always see myself as lovable, but God has changed that by letting me feel love as it is meant to be felt. I’m finding love to be a lot more like English than math. There’s no logic when it comes to love, and there are crazy inconsistencies that make no sense whatsoever. I’m learning to simply accept love when it comes into my path and remember that God loved, loves, and will always love me. Love will not be conjugated any other way.